Alone Together
by heartvshand
Summary: Let's be alone together. Just because it was a weird idea, didn't mean it was a bad idea, did it?
1. Shanelle

**Hope you enjoy, let me know if you do. Still on Twitter if you want to follow: heartvshand**

**Consider this the disclaimer.**

**Also, the title comes from Fall Out Boy's song, "Alone Together."**

Alone Together

1. Shanelle

Alex paced outside of Mitchie's house, checking the time on her phone. She debated going up to the front door and ringing the bell, or calling her. She chewed on her lip and leaned against Mitchie's car.

If she waited much longer, Mitchie would be late for her first class. She sighed and decided she'd try calling once more.

"Hey, you've reached Mitchie Torres. Or well, not really, this is her voice mail. So, leave a message and she'll-I'll call you back. UH, wow, okay, bye!"

Alex laughed and hung up. She dropped her hand back to her side and set her backpack on the top of the trunk. She grabbed her keys out of the front pocket and headed over to her house.

"Alex!"

She spun around to see Mitchie jogging down the hill.

"Hey! Sorry, I found a stray dog and started knocking on doors, looking for its owner. Lost track of time." She slowed to a walk and stopped when she was standing in front of the other girl.

Alex smiled. "It's okay. I tried calling, but your phone—"

Mitchie pulled it out of her armband. "Yeah, I forgot to charge it last night, so it died while I was listening to music on it on the run." She walked up to her house. "I guess I'm going to miss math this morning. Oops." She unlocked the door. "I'll just be a minute, do you want to come in or meet me back here in a few minutes?"

Alex shifted and took a step back, remembering the last time they'd been alone inside a house together. "Won't your girlfriend, um…"

Mitchie laughed. "God, you're right, she has enough issues with us riding to school together. I'll just call you, like, thirty minutes."

Alex lifted her bag and went over to her house. Despite the fact that she'd been renting this house for several months, the quiet was still unsettling. She sat in a folding chair in her kitchen, her foot jiggling up and down.

She hated Mitchie's crazy girlfriend. She could still hear Shanelle shouting through the cardboard boxes from the day she moved in; Mitchie had just been trying to be a nice neighbor. Alex sighed and looked around the empty place. She hadn't had too many boxes to move, so maybe Mitchie had stayed a little longer than she should have, but it wasn't like they'd been doing anything. They'd only been getting to know one another since they'd be living next to each other for the next ten to twelve months.

Alex heard the clock ticking above her sink and entertained the idea of getting a cat or a dog, but quickly remembered she wasn't allowed pets here. She sighed and surfed the Web on her cell phone.

She saw a status update from her younger brother about her parents making him work more and laughed. She missed living with him, but she didn't miss living with her parents.

Her phone vibrated in her hand, and Mitchie's name popped up. _Hey, I'm ready when you are. Sorry! _

Alex headed to Mitchie's car to find her buckling into the driver's seat. She set her bag in the back seat and situated herself in the passenger seat. "Hey."

Mitchie backed out of the driveway. "Sorry about that."

Alex shrugged and flipped through the CD case Mitchie kept on the floor of the passenger's side. "It's okay. My class doesn't start for another hour. You're the only one missing class." She smiled. "What do you want to listen to?"

Mitchie shrugged and merged onto the highway. "Pick whatever looks good."

Alex flipped through the pages of CDs, most of them were burnt mixes with quotes on the fronts. "When are you going to just get a CD player that can hook up to your phone?"

Mitchie glanced at her. "I like my CDs, thank you very much. Plus, I'm broke."

She flipped another page in the book. "If you spent less money on music and CDs, you'd have that player."

"Oh, hush." They stopped at a stoplight.

"What's on this one?" Alex pulled one out its spot. "It says, 'My heart is like a stallion, they love it better when it's broke in' on the front."

Mitchie smiled. "Oh, I like that one."

Alex put it in and an upbeat song started. "Cool."

"So, Alex Russo." Mitchie glanced from the road to her. "What else do you do?" Mitchie still felt like she knew nothing about her new neighbor.

Alex looked out the window. "I don't know. I guess I just mainly go to school and work."

"And run with me sometimes."

Alex nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Sometimes, yeah." She chewed on her lip. "Why doesn't Shanelle live with you?"

Mitchie sighed. "She lives on campus. She's actually nineteen still."

"Oh." Alex studied Mitchie for a minute.

"I was tutoring her in English last spring, and she was really nice. Eventually, she asked me out and I said yes." She shrugged and switched lanes. "But yeah, she refuses to move in with me, because she hasn't told her parents she's gay. I keep telling her that it's not a big deal to live with another girl, like they wouldn't be suspicious, you know?" She changed lanes again and took the exit for the school. "It's whatever, I guess. I mean she's still kinda young." Mitchie laughed. "But don't let her know I said that."

Alex pretended to zip her mouth shut and throw away the key. "I probably won't be talking to her more than I have to, so no worries."

Mitchie smiled. "She's really not as bad as she seems. I know the first time you met her she was bitching about me cheating, but she's got trust issues or some shit. I don't know, either way, she hates when I meet people my age, because she assumes we're going to all get shit-faced at a bar and forget about her." She parked the car and turned it off. "Like I said, she's still kinda young. But that's her only real issue, you know? I'm still trying to convince her to apologize to you in person, but I guess, really, a phone apology is better than nothing from her."

"Yeah, I guess." Alex slung her bag over her shoulder and slid the other arm through the remaining strap. "Thanks for the ride, Mitch. I'll text you after my classes."

"Of course." Mitchie dialed Shanelle's number after Alex walked away. "Hey, where you at?" Mitchie guessed from the loudness of the other, she was going to say the University Center.

"The UC, are you out of class already?"

"Yeah, I missed class, because I was trying to find this dog's owner, but I just got to campus." Mitchie realized her mistake immediately, but tried to ignore it as she stepped into the building Shanelle was in.

"Oh." Shanelle was quiet for a minute. "Did Alex ride with you?"

"Yeah. Hey, where in the UC are you, because I'm here." Mitchie scanned the tables of people, eating lunch. "Oh, never mind, found you." She hung up before Shanelle could start the Alex interrogation.

Shanelle was sitting in front of Burger King with several people Mitchie didn't know. She really wanted to turn around and avoid having to meet more people, but put on a big smile and waved.

Shanelle didn't wave back and Mitchie tried not to roll her eyes. The more she thought about it, Mitchie wasn't sure why she was dating her. She sat down across from Shanelle. "Hey, what's up? Did you already eat?"

"Yeah." Shanelle checked her phone and started typing a text quickly. "Did you and Alex eat already?"

"No. I was running late. So, I'm actually starving." Mitchie's phone vibrated in her pocket, and she resisted the urge to check it. She already knew who it was.

Shanelle's eyes narrowed and she took a sip from her soft drink. "Oh."

"Yeah. So, I'm gonna go get something. Want anything?"

Shanelle shook her head. "Nope."

Mitchie nodded and walked away. She stood in line for the pizza place and glanced at her phone. Alex's name sat in the middle of the screen: _Class is cancelled, can I join you?_

Mitchie glanced at Shanelle and sighed as she answered. _Shanelle is being super weird about us being late this morning right now, so it's up to you if you wanna join, we're at the UC, first floor._

She shoved the phone back into her pocket once she was closer to the front of the line. She felt it vibrate again; she almost hoped Alex would come.

She sat back down with Shanelle and the strangers who she still hadn't been introduced to. She poked the straw into the lid and took a sip. She considered telling Shanelle about the possibility of Alex joining them, but decided against it. She watched Shanelle talking to one of the unknowns.

"So," Mitchie said, clearing her throat. "How's your day going?"

Shanelle paused. "Oh, it's okay, I guess." She went back to her conversation with the other person and Mitchie sighed.

"Look, I'm only eating in here because you're here, and you're not even talking to me, and acting like you're mad at me." Mitchie shut the lid of her to-go box and stood up. "I'll just talk to you later. Ever since Alex moved in, you're acting like I'm cheating on you and you're just accusing me of having zero decency and you're acting like Alex is some kind of homewrecker, when she's not even the problem. The only problem in our relationship is how you're choosing to conduct yourself."

Shanelle stood up and stared at her. "So you're admitting—"

"There's nothing to admit. You're the one pushing me away. I don't get it. I'm so sick of this passive-aggressive bullshit." Mitchie headed for the door before she said anything else she regretted.

She walked out of the UC and collided with Alex.

"Oh, hey, I'm—." Alex stepped back and stopped mid-apology when she realized it was Mitchie. "Mitch, are you okay?"

Mitchie laughed. "You're Mitch? Nice to meet you." She winked. "No, I'm kidding. Sorry about running into you. At least I didn't get pizza on you." She sighed and kept walking, Alex trailing after her.

"Are you okay?" Alex readjusted the straps of her bag.

"I just said some stuff I didn't mean to Shanelle, or well, maybe I meant them." She took a sip from her drink and led them to an outside table away from the main drag. "She acted like we were having all kinds of passionate sex this morning or something and I missed class to bone you."

Alex felt her insides growing warm, but ignored it and laughed instead. She didn't have any actual comebacks. She blinked and tried to relax her eyes.

Mitchie sighed and opened her to-go box up. "Want a breadstick?"

Alex shook her head. "Nah, it's okay. Um, but you would you mind if I ran in and got something substantial to eat?"

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah, sure. If you want to go in through the second set of doors where Shanelle can't see us, and go upstairs and get something from there, I can go with you."

Alex blinked and rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, sure. But wouldn't that be worse than her just seeing us?"

Mitchie pressed her lips into a tight line and stuck them out as she thought. "You're probably right, but I don't want her to assume I just ran to you with our issue or whatever. Or that I like immediately went and found you or something. It'll just make later worse."

Alex shrugged. "You're allowed to have friends. And technically, I still don't even know what happened. I mean, the only thing I've got is one fact and one assumption about how today went. The fact is we didn't have sex, the assumption is that we did." Her hands dropped to her lap; she hadn't even realized she'd been talking with them.

Mitchie stared at Alex for a moment. "Fine, let's just go in through the doors we came from."

#

Alex sat in her English class, watching the clock above the professor's head. She was trying to take notes, but she was too busy wondering about Mitchie and Shanelle.

Shanelle sounded controlling. She sounded like she was taking assumptions and blowing facts up into some elaborate lie, and then trying to dictate who Mitchie could and couldn't be friends with. Alex wondered why she wanted to believe the worst from Mitchie. Alex snorted; "Trust issues" was one of the weakest excuses to be an asshole in a relationship. She doodled in the margins of her notebook, wondering if Mitchie had cheated or if Shanelle was cheating, or maybe she had been cheated on?

Shanelle wasn't even that good looking. Mitchie could do better and Alex wished she could tell her that, but she knew right now was probably not ideal. She knew that Mitchie would be better off without Shanelle, which sounded more appropriate than basically telling her to do exactly what Shanelle was afraid of happening: dump Shanelle, date Alex.

Alex shook her head. Dating Mitchie was off the table, because they were neighbors and commuting buddies and Mitchie kept defending the fact that Alex was just a friend; therefore, Mitchie either didn't feel the same about Alex or Mitchie really wanted to be with Shanelle.

After class, Alex just had to wait for Mitchie to get out of class, and they could leave. She was sitting outside of the Mitchie's classroom, scrolling through her phone, looking for something on the Internet to distract her.

"Hey, Alex."

She looked up, and smiled. "Oh, hey, Shanelle, how are you?"

She shrugged. "Oh, you know. Just waiting to say hi to my girlfriend."

Alex smiled, gave a small nod, and gestured for her to have a seat. She chose sit right next to Alex.

"So, what did you do this morning?"

Alex had wondered if this would come. "Cleaned my place, tried to unpack a few more boxes. Then I thought Mitchie overslept since she didn't meet me at the car. Then I almost left without her, but then she came jogging over the hill and she said she found this dog on her run and had to find its owner. Then she decided to skip her class, and shower instead, so I went home and read a little then she messaged saying she was ready, so I went back to her car." She shrugged. "It's been a pretty mundane Monday." Alex tapped her phone against her knee.

Shanelle's shoulders rose and fell, and then she turned her face towards Alex. "Look, Alex, I'm going to ask this once and only once."

Alex wanted to laugh at her overdramatic words, but frowned like she was confused. "What is it?"

Shanelle took a deep breath. "Mitchie's my girlfriend, and her relationship with you makes me uncomfortable. I get that you're her new neighbor, but don't you, like, have friends?"

Alex wasn't expecting that question; she had been expecting "Stay away from my girlfriend" or "Is Mitchie cheating on me with you?" but not this. Yes, she had friends, but they'd all dumped her when she decided to get sober. So, maybe she didn't have friends, right now, but that was okay.

Shanelle's features turned sympathetic. "You don't, do you?"

Alex swallowed and shook her head. "Um, not really."

She realized that maybe this would work in her favor; she could save Mitchie from whatever fit Shanelle seemed on the verge of having when class let out. She checked the time on her phone. She had ten minutes to save Mitchie from some kind of psycho-girlfriend fight.

Shanelle put her hand on Alex's shoulder, causing her to jump. Shanelle laughed. "I'm really sorry you don't have any friends, but you could promise me one thing?"

Alex squinted. "Um, I don't like to agree to things before I hear the questions."

Shanelle dropped her hand. "Don't fall in love with my girlfriend."

Alex couldn't promise that for so many reasons. "You can't tell me who to love and who not to."

"Oh," Shanelle said, folding her arms across her chest. "So, you actually do like her."

Alex groaned and shifted to face her a little bit. "No! She's a nice person, yes, and I like her like a friend, but not like that. I just met her."

"Two months ago!"

"Yeah, that's not enough time to know someone well enough to date them seriously." Alex glanced at the time once more. She had five minutes. "You can't tell people who they can hang out with or who they can love, so do not pretend to know me. You don't know anything about me. Maybe I don't like brunettes!"

Mitchie walked out of the door and Alex dropped her hand. Shanelle looked up with wide eyes. Mitchie smiled, a small laugh trickling out. "Hey, guys. He let us out early…bonding, I see?"

Alex blinked and stood. "Yeah. We ran into each other, waiting for you."

Mitchie nodded at her response and then held her hand out for Shanelle and pulled her up. "Hey, babe. What are you doing here? You're not usually in this building."

"I was just going to come say hi before you left campus." Shanelle gave her a peck on the cheek, staring at Alex the whole time.

Alex looked away. "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Mitchie nodded again. "Yeah, okay. I'll meet you over by the stairs."

Shanelle's voice got a little louder; Mitchie was getting an earful anyway. Alex sighed and pushed the door open to the bathroom. She leaned against the row of sinks. She sent a message to Mitchie. _Whatever she's saying, well, I've got my own side._ She hoped her phone was still on silent, so that it wouldn't add to their current fight out there.

The bathroom door opened and Mitchie walked in. Alex pushed off the sink and stared, confused. Mitchie just stood there, shaking.

Alex stayed where she was, but decided to try speaking. "Hey. You okay?"

Déjà vu hit Mitchie and she looked up. "You've asked me that a lot today." She laughed and rubbed her eyes. "No. I'm honestly not. I guess, I get why she's so crazy about you, but it's not a big deal that we're friends."

Alex frowned; Mitchie knew why Shanelle hated Alex so much and hadn't mentioned it? "Why doesn't she like me?"

Mitchie sighed and dropped her hands from her eyes. "Come on, let's just go."

As they walked down the side stairs, Alex tried again. "I want to know why she doesn't like me."

"She thinks you're prettier than her. You're my age and smoking hot, she's concerned. But the only reason she should be concerned is because this," she gestured between the two of them, "keeps happening. And it's her fault this is happening."

Alex cocked her head to the side. "What's 'this'?"

"Like, me 'running to you' or whatever. She's pushing me right into your arms figuratively."

Alex laughed. "Oh, that's dumb, but kind of true."

"I'm going to try to talk to her later when she's not under the influence of her friends. When her friends get involved, they're relentless and feed her all kinds of ideas. I'm sure that they assume because they can't keep it their pants on when they're drunk that nobody else can. So, they just tell her bullshit." Mitchie unlocked the car. "Like, if I'm sleeping or running and I can't answer her right away if she messages me or calls, they say things like, 'I bet Mitchie and Alex are getting drunk right now and you know what that means.' They act like I just party all the time, but it's stupid because they don't even know me. I stopped partying, like, last year before I even met Shanelle or you, but Shanelle doesn't believe me. She thinks I just don't want to drink with her."

They drove in silence for a while. Alex was thinking about what happened in the hall, and wanted to ask, but decided against it. "Shanelle demanded me to promise not to fall in love with you. So I guess that's the stipulation for us being friends. I can't love you."

Mitchie laughed. "She said you just started yelling while she was just trying to talk to you. I wondered why you would have been a bitch."

Alex yawned. "Yeah, it was dumb. But I didn't promise her anything. I told her she couldn't tell people who to hang out with or love, and then I just kind of started ranting about how she didn't even know me."

Mitchie laughed. "Well, you sound like me."

She nodded and looked over as Mitchie merged onto the highway. "So, what kind of homework do you have to finish today?"

"I've got two assignments for my class tomorrow. I've got to watch this movie, which I need to rent on my way home, would you mind if we did that?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Cool. And then, I also have to write a paper on it. So, woo."

"What class is that?"

"The Shakespeare one."  
"Oh, so what's the movie?"

"_The Tempest_ with Russell Brand and whoever else. I have to compare and contrast it to the actual play."

Alex watched the cars passing them by, watched the buildings going by. "That's cool."

"Yeah." Mitchie watched the road, while she thought about what to do with Shanelle. "Would you mind if Shanelle, you and I all hung out sometime, like maybe we could do a double date?"

Alex turned to look at her. "But I'm not seeing anyone."

"I know, but I could find someone to like, set you up with. Just to maybe get her off our case a little."

Alex considered the offer. "I'm not really looking to date anyone…would I have to actually like the person?"

Mitchie smiled, hoping it masked her disappointment. "Why aren't you looking to date anyone?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. Last year, I decided to get sober and while I was at it, I decided I'd stay celibate until I was done with school; it's easier to focus on school when I don't have any distractions like that."

Mitchie nodded and pulled into the parking lot of the video store. "Oh, that's cool. I like that idea, a lot actually."

Alex shut her car door and followed Mitchie inside. "Yeah, it's nice."

Mitchie contemplated stealing Alex's celibacy idea, because she really wasn't sure if she liked how Shanelle was treating her these days.

"So, do you need any other movies?" Alex looked around the rows of DVDs and Blu-rays.

Mitchie shrugged. "Not really. But if you want to get a new release, we get _The Tempest _for free, because they have that deal still."

"Oh, cool." They walked along the wall of new releases. "See anything you want to watch?"

"We could get the last _Twilight _movie." Mitchie picked it up and wiggled her eyebrows.

Alex tensed. "Eh, no, thanks."

Mitchie laughed. "I'm kidding. Those are garbage." She set the case down. "Oh, hey we could watch this one!" She held up the DVD case for _Silver Linings Playbook_. "Shanelle and I saw it when it came out. It's so good!"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, sure!"

"Cool." Mitchie led the way to find the other movie, still considering how to go about it. She'd just tell her tomorrow: it was over.

Alex was starting to worry; should she be alone with Mitchie? She didn't want her to get yelled at again, but then again, maybe it didn't matter. If neither of them would tell Shanelle that they were watching movies together, maybe she'd never find out.

"Want to come over and watch these with me tonight, so I can just return them in the morning?" Mitchie grabbed a few dollars out of her pocket and headed to the register.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah, I don't think we'll have to worry about that much longer."

Alex raised her eyebrow. "Oh?" She was serious about not dating anyone, even though she wanted to date Mitchie. She didn't think it was the best idea.

#

Alex was engrossed in the movie, when Mitchie looked over at her. "How serious about your celibacy are you?"

Alex lifted her head and blinked. "I haven't dated anyone in over a year and half; so, I guess pretty serious." She shrugged. "Why?"

Mitchie chewed on her lip. "When do you graduate?"

"This coming spring." Alex reached for the remote, so she didn't miss any of the movie.

"Would you want to be alone together?"

Alex frowned. "What?"

"Like, I guess…I don't know. Never mind." She reached for the remote. "It's not important."

Alex grabbed the remote first. "No, I want to hear this. What do you mean?"

"Can we do things we'd do with a girlfriend, but not date?"

Alex's jaw dropped. "Are you asking me to be friends with benefits? You're not single yet, Mitch."

Mitchie laughed. "No, no." She reached for the remote. "No. I mean, like, can we go to movies and out to eat once in a while and watch movies together and stuff like that? I didn't mean…sex."

"So…you want to be friends, and do things friends do?" Alex fought a grin.

Mitchie sighed. "Yeah, I guess." She wasn't going to try to explain again. One failed attempt was embarrassing enough. She just wanted to be alone, with Alex. She'd been considering the idea since Alex mentioned her no-dating rule. It sounded wonderful. No pressure, but the freedom to flirt with her when she wanted. She pulled her knees to her chest and waited for Alex to hit play.

Alex hit play, but entertained Mitchie's idea. They really hadn't done any of those things before. They simply rode to and from school together, sometimes studied at the library, or ran together, or hung out on campus.

After the movie ended, Alex wasn't sure if she should stay or go, so she started gathering her things. "I'll see you Wednesday."

Mitchie smiled and got up to open the door. "Yeah, are you driving or am I?"

"Eh, we'll see who feels like it." Alex pulled her bag onto her back and left.

Walking across the grass to her house, their conversation during the movie bounced around inside Alex's head. Mitchie was seriously considering getting rid of Shanelle; she was surprised.

Mitchie hadn't technically let the girl walk all over her, but since the day Alex moved in, she felt like the couple had been in a constant fight. Always about the same thing, always ending the same way. She wondered if Mitchie was just tired of fighting or if she truly wanted to be friends so badly, she was going to give up her girlfriend. Now that Alex thought about it, she wasn't sure how long they'd been dating. She said they'd started dating last spring, which meant they could have just been dating a few months before Alex moved in.

She dropped her bag next to her desk and decided to just go to bed. She could finish her homework in the morning at work since it wasn't due until Wednesday.

#

_Hey, I'm sorry about today. Do you want to meet up at the coffee shop on campus tomorrow?_ Mitchie stared at her phone for a long time, trying to decide if she wanted to send the message or not.

Her phone vibrated while she was contemplating sending the message or not.

_Hey, baby, I miss you._ Shanelle's baby voice filled her head and Mitchie cringed, then decided to send her message. It was now or never.

She rolled over and faced the wall. It sucked that she and Shanelle had been dating since May and she still didn't trust Mitchie. They'd been together for about six months, and until Alex came along, they'd been fine.

Shanelle sent her a second message. _Sure, I'll meet you before your first class._

Mitchie yawned and set the phone on her nightstand. She wished Alex had classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but realized it was probably better she wouldn't be there for the break up.

When Mitchie walked into the coffee shop, she instantly regretted doing this face to face. Shanelle was sitting alone at a table, two coffees already in front of her. Mitchie swallowed and walked up to her.

"Hey, you're late." Shanelle scooted a cup towards her.

"Yeah, sorry." Mitchie sat down, but didn't touch the coffee. "I overslept." She cleared her throat. "Thanks for the coffee."

"Yeah, no problem." Shanelle smiled and took another sip from her drink.

Mitchie took a deep breath and scooted the coffee away from her. "I'm not happy being with you anymore. It's over."

Shanelle's lips turned into a tight line and her eyes turned into slits surrounded by black circles of make up, and Mitchie realized how obnoxious that looked. She shifted in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable for Shanelle.

After realizing Shanelle still hadn't spoken, Mitchie picked up her bag, stood and said, "Sorry" before walking away.

Her heart was beating so fast she felt nauseous. She walked into the classroom she needed to be in and grabbed her phone. She changed Shanelle's name to 'Do Not Answer' and typed up a text to Alex, and then deleted it instead.

Mitchie took a breath and stared at the chalkboard at the front of the room. Her professor spoke, but she couldn't hear him. She sighed and turned her phone off.

After class, she was greeted by several missed calls and texts, all from Shanelle. She deleted all of them and headed to her history class. When she got to history, her phone lit up with a message from Alex. It was a screen shot of a private message from Facebook.

It was to Alex, from Shanelle. It simply read: _What did you DO?_ _I KNOW you're the reason. So own up. _

Mitchie set her phone down and closed her eyes. She didn't know what to say to Alex, she stared at the message for a while, before finally deciding to send: _I'll explain after class. Don't reply. Actually, feel free to block her or whatever._

She put her phone away and hoped Shanelle would chill out.

#

Alex had just walked into her house when there was a knock on the door. She groaned and turned around to go peek through the window. Her brow furrowed and she threw the door open. "Mitchie, what's up? Anything you want to talk about?"

Mitchie bit her lip and rocked on her feet. "Can I come in?"

Alex stepped aside. "Of course, you good?"

She paced around the main hall and spun around to face Alex. "I broke up with her."

"I figured." Alex led them to the living room. "I didn't reply to her. Eventually, she stopped messaging me altogether."

Mitchie nodded, plopping down onto the couch next to Alex. "Good. Sorry. I didn't know she'd do that."

Alex glanced at the kitchen, ran her tongue over her lips, and got up. "It's no big. But, um, would you mind if we got food or something? I just got home and I'm kind of hungry."

Mitchie shrugged. "Yeah, sure. What are you in the mood for?"

Alex tied her hair up in a ponytail and opened the freezer door. "I was just going to throw in a frozen pizza. Would you want that?"

She nodded from her spot on the couch. "Sure. Thanks."

"No problem." Alex threw the pizza in the oven and got a cup of water. "Want anything to drink?"

Mitchie sighed. "No, thanks. Not right now."

Alex leaned against doorway between the kitchen and the living room. "So, were you watching for me or something? How'd you know I was home?"

Mitchie gestured to her clothes. "I was running and saw your car was back."

"Oh." Alex glanced at her outfit. Mitchie was wearing those tight, nylon capris, her running sneakers and a tank top that matched her capris; Alex felt an ache inside of her and looked way. "That's cool."

Mitchie fidgeted with her armband, wrestling her phone out of the casing. "So, do you have homework?"

"Yeah. You?"

Mitchie watched Alex walk out of view and raised her voice just slightly. "Yeah, just a little bit."

"Cool." Alex reappeared and sat down next to her again. "Do you want to go get it and do it here?"

Mitchie shrugged, watching the water go down Alex's throat as she drank. "Sure." She got up. "I'll go get a shower and grab my books."

"Cool. The pizza will be done in like fifteen minutes. But no rush."

Alex walked her to the door and shut it behind her, peeking at her through the window. She finished the cup of water and refilled it at the sink. She grabbed her bag from the kitchen table and set it on the floor next to the couch.

She wondered if Mitchie would bring up the break up, she was curious about how sudden it had happened. She wasn't about to question it since she was happy that Mitchie didn't stick around for that situation to deteriorate any further. But she did wonder if Shanelle was right. Did she have anything to do with Mitchie's decision to end it?

Alex stared at the wall where she planned to put a television eventually, once she could afford one. She imagined Mitchie taking a shower here, wondered what her lips might feel like, thought about being pressed up against her, just to sleep with their arms around each other.

She closed her eyes and let the feeling pulsing through her lower half circulate through her. She hadn't acted on any kind of crush she had on someone for such a long time. She didn't plan to do so now, either. She opened her eyes. "Just get through this year, Russo. If you want to date her after this year, that's cool, but just graduate before you get hung up on somebody else." Her fingertip traced the rim of the cup and she watched the water inside ripple slightly.

The pizza's timer went off and Mitchie knocked on the door as she walked in. "Hey, I'm back."

Alex got up and headed to the kitchen. "Hey, pizza's ready."

Mitchie followed Alex's voice and grabbed plates for them. After putting the plates on the counter, she walked her bag over to the couch and set it down next to Alex's bag. "Thanks again for dinner."

"No prob." Alex ran the pizza cutter over the pizza. "Thanks for eating with me, really. It gets lonely around here sometimes."

Mitchie ran her hand through her damp hair. "Oh, I know. It's always so boring after a certain point."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, it sucks sometimes. Feel free to grab however many pieces you want." She stood at the sink, rinsing the pizza cutter off.

Mitchie peeled the paper plates apart. "Thanks. Seriously."

Alex nodded to the sink, staying quiet.

They sat on the couch in silence, eating their pizza. Her mind still replayed the words Mitchie had said the night before. Alone together, what did that even mean? Not friends with benefits, but something else? She was tempted to ask her about it, but when she opened her mouth, she simply bit into her slice of pizza.

After Mitchie finished eating, she got out her homework and started doing it and Alex couldn't take it anymore. She set her plate on the coffee table and stared at Mitchie.

"Are we really not going to talk about the break up?"

Mitchie looked up from her notebook. "Oh. Um, do you want to?"

"Well, kind of. I mean, she messaged me like I was supposed to already know about it or something. And I'm honestly just surprised it even happened."

Mitchie's eyebrow shot up. "Oh. I didn't really…it wasn't because of you, or well, maybe it was. It was something you said yesterday. And I realized I was just unhappy with her, and that I couldn't see a future with her…I don't know. What else do you want to know?"

"Well, how did you do it?"

"I met her at Starbucks, said it was over, and then left." Mitchie tapped her pen on the spiral of her notebook. "I don't know. There wasn't much to it. She didn't say anything. Then after I left, she sent me a lot of messages and called me a lot then you sent me that picture." Mitchie eyed the other girl, wondering what she wanted to hear. "Now I'm just ignoring her."

Alex blinked and picked up her glass of water. "Oh." She was trying to remember what she had said last night that would prompt Mitchie to dump her girlfriend. She didn't remember saying anything too directive. "What did I say last night?"

Mitchie folded her arms and felt herself growing warm. "Oh, you just said, dating was a distraction, and that you didn't date." She dropped her eyes from Alex's and stared at her notebook. "I don't know. It just sounded like a good plan, especially with my last year in school. I don't really have time for Shanelle's drama."

Alex grinned. "Oh. Well, I'm glad I could help."

Mitchie looked up, relieved Alex wasn't making fun of her. "Thanks." She bit her lip and went back to doing homework.

#

After Mitchie went home, she felt stupid for not saying more to Alex about the break up. She was annoyed with herself for not trying to explain what she meant by being alone together again. She stared up at her ceiling; all she could see was the darkness. She shut her eyes and tried to sleep. Her phone started vibrating, and she felt for it on the bed.

Shanelle's reassigned name 'Do Not Answer' was flashing on the screen. She sighed and hit the decline button. She went to her text messages and opened a new message. _Hey, do you want to come over?_ She sent it to Alex before she could chicken out.

The reply was almost instant. _Lol, you left like two hours ago! But yeah, sure. Meet me outside? I'm a little creeped out going outside this late by myself. Sorry. _

Mitchie's smile hurt her cheeks. _It's not even that far, dork. But yeah, sure I'll meet you outside. _ She got out of bed and slipped on her flip-flops.

Mitchie led her over to the bedroom. "It's kinda messy, sorry."

Alex glanced around. "Eh, it's cool. Mine is, too." She bumped into Mitchie who had spun around in the bedroom doorway. "Oh, sorry."

Mitchie laughed and shook her head, waving her hand. "That was my fault. Sorry." She took a step back. "I just realized this feels like a total booty call. I didn't even show you around first."

She walked Alex around the house; Alex tried not to laugh, because she'd seen the inside of her house earlier this week. She let Mitchie give her the 'grand tour' like she'd never seen the place before. It was basically the same kind of layout as Alex's house, except the bedroom was on the other side of the house, which Alex noticed meant that their rooms were closer to each other. While Mitchie's was on the left side of the house, Alex's was on the right side. They could open their bedroom windows and see each other. Alex bit her lip, shook her head and let her eyes fall from Mitchie's body to the ground.

"So, Mitchie," Alex said, sitting down on the floor in front of the bed. "Why did you invite me over?"

Mitchie pulled up her missed calls on her phone and held it out for Alex to read. "Honestly? I was just afraid I'd give in and text Shanelle."

Alex frowned; she felt like a distraction, a rebound. She sighed and draped her arms over her knees. "Oh."

"I just didn't want to be alone right now." Mitchie picked at her nails, trying to get some dirt out from under them. "Sorry if you feel used. I really did want to see you, specifically. Like, I didn't just ask you since you were right there."

She wasn't sure if she felt used, but she did feel mildly upset that the other girl's answer hadn't been 'I missed you,' and she wasn't sure why that bothered her so much. Alex tapped her foot inside her shoe. She guessed that would have to do. It was almost 'I missed you.' She closed her eyes. "It's cool, Mitch. I am tired, though. What do you want to do?"

Mitchie cleared her throat and sat down next to her. "Um, do you want to watch a movie?"

Alex yawned. "Yeah, sure. What do you have?"

Mitchie rattled off a short list of films and Alex picked one. Mitchie turned it on and sat next to her again. "Um, we can sit on the bed, if you want."

Alex leaned her head back on the foot of the bed. "I'm good here for now. I'm pretty sure I'd fall asleep if I get too comfortable. But feel free to get up there; I can let myself out if you fall asleep."

Mitchie yawned, but stayed where she was. "I'll be fine here."


	2. Distracted

2. Distracted

Alex woke up with a weight on her stomach. She rubbed her eyes and felt around. Why was she on the floor? She felt hair and realized it was a person on her: Mitchie. She laughed, but immediately covered her mouth.

She shifted and Alex stroked her hair, trying not to disturb her more. She saw the DVD's title scene looping through its animated menu. She looked around for a remote, and then her phone. She realized she didn't have her phone, so she reached for Mitchie's. It was six in the morning; she glanced at the girl sleeping on her. She could still leave without Mitchie knowing she stayed at all.

Mitchie had six new messages from 'Do Not Answer,' who Alex had assumed was Shanelle after Mitchie showed her the missed call page last night. She frowned, she was so curious what Shanelle was saying to her. She opened their conversation and read through the new messages. Mitchie hadn't messaged her once since breaking up with her; Alex was impressed.

_Mitchie, why aren't you answering?; Babe, I miss you; baby please, don't do this…; I love you, baby, I was going to tell you next time we had a romantic dinner…; are you with her right now?; MICHELLE! I swear, if you are with her, we are so over for good; babe, answer me, give me a second chance, baby, please…; fine you know, you're right, I'm sorry, you can be friends with her._

The string of messages made Alex shake her head. Each one was so ridiculous. She was tempted to delete them, but thought better of it. She exhaled deeply, setting the phone down where she'd grabbed it from on the floor, and ran her fingers through Mitchie's hair; it was as silky and smooth as it looked. Alex swallowed, and stared at the TV, studying it. It had controls on the front of it, and the DVD player was integrated into the bottom of the TV. She thought about getting up and turning it off, but realized she didn't want to move Mitchie.

Realizing she needed to use the bathroom, she resigned herself to scooting out from under Mitchie. As she walked down the hall, she glanced into the living room space and saw a few photos on the end table next to the couch. After using the bathroom, she stopped to look at them. They were of Shanelle and Mitchie; she set the last of the three frames back down and froze. There weren't any pictures of her family. She frowned, but decided not to snoop. She walked back into Mitchie's room; she was exactly where Alex had left her.

Alex turned off the television and Mitchie opened an eye. "You can turn on a different one. If you don't like this one."

She laughed and lay next to her. "It's okay."

Mitchie made a noise, but her eye drooped shut. She slung her arm over Alex's waist, patting it, as she turned her face away.

Alex stayed on her back, tracing imagined paths on her ceiling. She wondered if staying was a good idea, if it would give the wrong impression. Her eyes stopped. What was the wrong impression? That she wanted to stay? Wasn't coming over at all the wrong impression? She pushed air threw her nose as her shoulders dropped. Did she like Mitchie? Did she want to date her? She closed her eyes. Did it matter? School was still her main priority. They were both on their last year. She knew it would be better to just stay focused and to ignore these feelings until then. She opened her eyes. Feelings. She hadn't had feelings for someone in a long time, but then again, she'd stopped dating, stopped allowing for anything beyond physical attraction long ago.

Mitchie's arm retracted and Alex looked over to see the other girl sitting up. She smiled while Mitchie blinked into consciousness. "Hey, Alex. What are you doing here?"

She shrugged. "I guess we fell asleep."

"Oh." Mitchie tried not to be too excited; even though she was thrilled Alex had stayed.

Alex stood and stretched. "I guess I should go home and get ready for school."

After Mitchie walked her to the door, Alex turned to go, but stopped and turned around again. "Oh, you had new messages from Shanelle. I was only half awake, so I didn't realize it was your phone until I clicked on the conversation. Sorry."

Mitchie laughed. "It's fine. I'm just going to delete them anyway. Thanks for the heads up."

Alex shrugged and stepped off the porch, feeling the tiniest bit of guilt for lying about why she was looking at the messages, but it wasn't enough to make her confess to pure curiosity. "See you in a little bit."

Mitchie nodded and closed the front door. While she washed her hair, she imagined it was Alex massaging her scalp instead. She'd been half asleep after Alex laughed, but she wasn't ready to interact or be awake just yet, so she drifted in between consciousness and sleep, but she'd felt her nails trailing through her hair.

She wondered why Alex hadn't dated in so long. Was something wrong with her or was she truly just that focused on her education? Alex didn't talk a lot, well, not about herself anyway. They'd had plenty of conversations about television shows, music, and movies. Mitchie tried to think of other topics they both talked about a lot, and she concluded they mainly talked about pop culture and class, and work.

As Alex drove, she was acutely aware of Mitchie fidgeting in her peripheral vision. "You got something on your mind?"

Mitchie coughed and looked out the window. "Yeah, kinda."

"What's up?"

She watched Alex steering the car, her basketball shorts were riding up her thigh. She blinked and brought her eyes back up. "Will you help me avoid Shanelle?"

Alex tried not to be annoyed. "What do you mean?"

Mitchie crossed and uncrossed her ankles and Alex lightly pressed on the brake as they came to a red light. "Can we just hang out more?"

Laughing, Alex stared at her. "Yeah?" She eyed Mitchie, and wondered why she was so nervous. The light turned green and she faced forward again. "Why are you so anxious?"

Mitchie closed her eyes and Alex listened to her breathing. "I'm not. I'm just…I haven't talked to anyone else in a while and I feel like a jerk if I just show up out of the blue, since I don't feel like I've talked to anyone since Shanelle and I started dating. I don't know. I was thinking about it in the shower and I just…I had this friend, Kara, and she and I hung out a lot and then I don't remember when that stopped, but I found the last time we called each other…it was months ago, like near the beginning of summer, so it's just been a long time."

This time, the annoyance won out over understanding or curiosity. Alex slow the car and pulled over, coming to a stop, as a siren wailed. "So you're just basically using me."

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I—" Mitchie stared out the front of the car, watching the funeral procession driving past them. "I want to get to know you better."

"Then don't make excuses like that…if you want to hang out, just say you want to hang out. If you don't want to be alone, just tell me."

Mitchie stared at her for a second and then the police motorcycle at the end of the procession drove by. "Okay. You don't have to be a jerk about it." She folded her arms over her chest.

Alex let out a strange noise of disbelief, almost a bark. "I'm not trying to be a jerk. I just don't think you need excuses to see someone you want to see. If you want to see me, just say so. I don't like playing games."

Mitchie's lips turned into a small 'o' shape and she just stared straight ahead.

They drove in silence for a while; the radio DJs filled the air between them. Finally, Alex decided to speak. "Hey, Mitch?"

She looked from the window to the driver. "Yeah?"

"Do you like this song?"

Mitchie listened to the radio for a minute. "I've never heard it. What is it?"

She turned it up and mumbled the words under her breath. "It's called "Closer" by Tegan and Sara. It's new."

Mitchie listened; the beat seeped into her veins. Her head bobbed, and she glanced at Alex. "Cool."

#

Alex saw the chalkboard and her professor walking back and forth, talking, but her head was swimming in Mitchie. She felt that silky hair threaded through her fingers, the warmth from her head lingered on her stomach. Waking up with Mitchie was definitely a lot less lonely than waking up alone at her own place.

She tried to remind herself that dating wasn't an option. Mitchie would just be a distraction. She almost laughed out loud, but instead she set her pencil down on her empty notebook page. They weren't even dating, and here she was, completely distracted. She closed her eyes, counted to ten, forcing herself to focus on the lesson as she opened her eyes again.

After class, she met Mitchie at the library, but Mitchie looked different as she approached. Alex felt a strange tug in her stomach and looked down, watching her shoes and examining her pencil's worn down eraser.

"Hey, Alex," Mitchie said as they walked into the library together. "Want to check for a study room?"

Alex led the way to the elevators, yawning. "Let's start on the fourth floor. It's quietest."

"Okay, cool." Mitchie pressed the up button on the elevator.

"Hey, Mitch." Alex's hand twisted around her bag's strap. She followed Mitchie into the elevator, and was relieved they were alone. "Can I, um, I have something I think we need to talk about." The elevator doors shut.

Mitchie turned to face her. "What's up?"

Alex took a deep breath, unsure of why she'd even started talking at all. "It's nothing bad." She wasn't sure which of them she was saying that for. "I just…I need to focus on school."

Mitchie blinked, unsure of what Alex meant. "Uh, what?"

"You, uh, I…we can't…I—" Alex hung her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry."

Mitchie blinked, glancing at the elevator's buttons, one more floor. Her heart was loud in her ears, but she tried not to assume anything. She had a feeling she understood what Alex was trying to say, and instead of feeling disappointment, she was excited that Alex was thinking about them like that at all.

"What I mean is that I really need to study." Alex's eyelids suddenly felt heavy. She had no idea why she was saying anything.

The doors dinged, signaling they were on the fourth floor. Mitchie refrained from sighing. They stepped out and headed toward the back wall where the study rooms were located. "Are you trying to say that we can't date? I feel like you're getting at that. And I just want to say, if that's what you are trying to say, then that's okay, because I don't want to date you, either. I'm stealing your celibacy idea. It's why I broke up with Shanelle. I want to focus on school, too. I want to stay single with you until we graduate in the spring."

Alex's forehead scrunched up. She glanced into the glass fronts of all the study rooms they passed; all of them were occupied. She thought about Mitchie's question the night before she ended it with the other girl, about being alone together. Pointing to a small table in the corner, Alex said, "Do you want to just sit there?"

Mitchie shrugged, walked over and set her bag down on the table. She assumed they were done talking about that. Pulling out her homework, she debated whether it counted as a second failed attempt at explaining her 'Alone Together' plan. She decided it could count, but it could also not count.

"So," Alex said, tapping her pencil on the tabletop. "Is that, like, your question from the other night? About being alone, together?" Alex's fingers tripped over the zipper of her bag as she waited for Mitchie to speak.

Mitchie watched her, a small smile sneaking onto her face. "Yeah, I guess so." She tried not to get her hopes up, but she had to try. "Would you want to do that?"

Alex stared into her eyes. "I can't go out on Friday nights…or like, go to parties. I can't…um, I can't do a lot of things a lot of the time." She resisted smacking herself in the head. "Not that I wouldn't like to, but um, what I mean is that school really does keep me busy. Most of the time."

Mitchie nodded. "That's okay. That's the point. I figure we could both use company every now and then."

Alex smiled, wondering if Mitchie ever thought about getting a cat or dog just so that something else lived there, too. She tried not to laugh as she again felt like Mitchie was just asking to be in an exclusive friendship. She rested her head on top of her notebook and squinted up at Mitchie. How could she ask without sounding like a complete jerk? She sighed, realizing she couldn't. "So, we're just friends…but we promise not to be friends with anyone else?"

Mitchie smacked her arm. "Alex. You make it sound ridiculous."

"But that is what you mean, right? Like, an exclusive friendship?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

Mitchie bit her lip. Was that what she meant? She wasn't sure. "Shut up. I don't know. Can we not make this into a big deal?" She felt herself getting hot. She looked down. "I've got school work."

Alex lifted her head, laughing. She opened her textbook and flipped to the page her assignment was on and started reading the questions, desperately trying not to focus on the girl sitting across from her.

Mitchie lifted her head and stared at Alex until she looked up. "I hate parties."

Alex felt a rush in her midsection and a smile broke out on her face. "Me, too."

#

Mitchie sat in her room, listening to the world outside. She'd finished her schoolwork for Thursday at the campus library with Alex, and Alex had everything ready for Friday. It was killing her to know Alex was in the house next to hers, probably not doing anything pressing. She wondered if it would be weird to invite her over again.

She scanned her movie collection and didn't see anything she wanted to watch, so she decided to go to the video store.

She pulled into the parking lot and as she shut her car door, her phone buzzed. She glanced at it and saw Alex's name, accompanied with a text. _Where'd you go? :( _

Mitchie smirked. Why did Alex know she'd gone anywhere? She walked along the aisles of movies, quickly typing a reply. _Are you keeping tabs on me now?_

She looked at the movie titles, nothing sounded good. Finally, she found one that caught her eye. She picked up the box and read the back. She puffed her lips and moved them from side to side. It didn't sound nearly as interesting as it could have been.

Alex's reply finally arrived and she set the box down to read the message. _No. I just happened to see you driving away as I opened my front door to come surprise you._

Mitchie re-read the text several times before even being able to consider a response. Grinning, she settled on the movie she'd been about to disregard. After paying for the rental, she drove back to her house, still unsure of what she wanted to say back to Alex.

She sat in her driveway, tapping her foot against the break. Finally, Mitchie typed something. _I'm home._

Mitchie went inside and stuck the DVD into the small TV in her room. Her doorbell rang and she nearly sprinted to answer it.

Alex held up a box set of "Friends." She swallowed the last of the saliva in her mouth and spoke. "I thought we could watch these together. They're funny and I've watched them a million times alone, but it's kinda sad to just keep laughing at the same jokes alone all the time."

Mitchie stepped aside and let her in. "Sweet. I love that show!" She only loved it because Alex had ten seasons of it, which meant days and days of hanging out with her, just watching all of those episodes.

Alex was more than relieved that she was excited about this suggestion. "Awesome."

Mitchie walked into her room and leaned against the bed. "I just rented this, would you want to watch this tonight and we can start 'Friends' tomorrow. Or the next day we decide to watch TV together?"

Nodding, Alex sank to the ground. "Yeah, that sounds good to me."

Mitchie hit play on the TV's front.

"Hey, do you have a remote to that?"

Mitchie sat Indian-style next to Alex, shaking her head as an embarrassed look crept across her features. "No. I lost it somewhere a long time ago."

"Oh, well, we—I…" Alex's breath caught and she couldn't speak. The question burned in her brain: 'We' – what was she thinking? "You could get a new remote for that…like one of those universal ones."

Mitchie fought a smile, choosing to only nod. Her phone vibrated and she picked it up. _Do Not Answer:_ _Baby, please. I'm sorry. Can we just start over?_ She frowned and set the phone down.

Alex's eyes flitted between Mitchie's face and her phone. She frowned and said, "Hey, can I see your phone for a minute?"

Mitchie placed her hand on top of the electronic device. "Why?"

Alex reached for it, her fingers brushing against the other girl's. "Please? Trust me? You'll like this. I hope, anyway."

Mitchie locked eyes with her for a moment, their hands touching on the phone. "Okay. Don't say anything mean, though. I haven't been saying anything."

Alex turned on the camera and said, "Okay. Come here." She balanced the phone on her knee and leaned toward Mitchie. "Keep your head like this, right here." She tilted Mitchie's head to the side. "Now, seriously. Don't move until I tell you it's okay."

Mitchie rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Alex leaned her head to the other side, right in front of Mitchie's face. Mitchie could feel her breath against her lips when she spoke again. "Now, stay still."

Mitchie tried to keep her eyes focused on Alex's, but she could see Alex reaching for the phone. "Are you going to make it look like we're making out?"

Alex's eyes fell to the other girl's lips, but quickly jumped back to her eyes. "Yes. Got a problem with it?"

Keeping her eyes focused on Alex's face, Mitchie resisted shaking her head. "I don't know."

Alex moved her head away to examine the picture she'd just taken. She held it up for Mitchie to inspect. "How does it look?"

Mitchie sat up and took the phone. "Honestly? Stiff."

Alex sighed. "Yeah. I thought so." Her eyes ran down to Mitchie's arms and then settled on her collarbone. "Come here." She draped her arm around Mitchie's shoulders. "Tilt your head like I had it a second ago."

Mitchie complied, hoping Alex couldn't hear the racket her heart was making. She hadn't felt half of this for Shanelle, but she wondered if she only wanted her so badly, because she knew she couldn't have her at all. She held still, forcing herself to stare at Alex's eyes.

Alex placed her lips inches from hers, and Mitchie wanted so badly to close the gap. Her head was swimming, and she couldn't stop herself. She leaned in just slightly and their lips brushed against each other.

Alex's eyes widened and suddenly, Mitchie knew why people didn't kiss with eyes open. Alex sat back and stared at her. "Mitch. I just…we just talked about this."

Mitchie covered her mouth, and spoken through her fingers. "I know. I'm sorry. I just…I'm not used to not kissing someone when they're that close to me."

Alex blinked, but still looked startled. "I, uh…please don't do it again, okay?"

Mitchie nodded, her fingers still pressed to her lips. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I get it." Alex licked her lips and looked to see how the photo had turned out. She wasn't sure if she'd jerked back and ruined the picture or not. Well, she'd moved the camera in the process, but the picture had come out better than expected. It was of Mitchie leaning in. "Well, the photo turned out okay." She dropped her arm from Mitchie's shoulder.

Mitchie leaned back, putting more distance between their lips. "Let me see." She held her hand out for the phone, and Alex handed it over. Her lips twitched as she realized it really was a good picture. "Well. That's a different angle than the first one. I think it looks way less… stiff."

Alex nodded. "Yeah." She took the phone from her again. "I'm sending this to Shanelle." She pressed send before Mitchie could stop her.

"Alex!" Mitchie grabbed for the phone, but Alex moved it away from her.

She held her hand up, laughing. "Wait, it gets better." She went back to the camera and then she smiled while flipping off the camera. "Now, I'm sending this one to her."

"Alex!" Mitchie was laughing, while putting up a weak fight. "Oh my god. Don't."

She shook her head. "Can't undo it now." She hit send and handed the phone back to Mitchie. "Now hopefully she'll lay off."

Mitchie read the message Alex had sent with the second photo. _This is my new number, so lose it. Bye. _Mitchie looked up and shook her head. "You. Alex…god."

Alex flipped her hair. "I know, I know. I am a god. Thank you for admitting it."

She smacked Alex's arm, laughing again. "No. That's not what I meant."

Alex winked and shrugged. "I'm going to pretend it's what you meant anyway." She pointed to the TV. "Now, I'm going to watch this movie that my friend invited me to watch. You can watch it with me, if you want."

Mitchie fought a smile. "You're insane."

She held her finger to her lips and kept her eyes steady on the television. "Sh. This is a good scene."

Mitchie watched her for a minute, then shook her head and settled down next to her. Alex watched this happen from her peripheral vision as she contemplated the residual tingle from Mitchie's lips. Her breath almost caught in her chest. She took a deep breath, and glanced at Mitchie. "Did you like it?"

Mitchie's hand went to her mouth. "I—sorry, again."

"The photo…I'd said I thought you would like what I was doing." Alex gave half a smile and turned to face the screen.

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah. Um, I don't know. Thanks, I think."

Alex cleared her throat and watched the actors. "No problem." She stayed quiet for a moment and then added, "And, Mitch, it's really okay."

#

Alex knew where she was before she opened her eyes. She stretched, squeezing her eyes together harder. Yawning, she felt around the floor of Mitchie's bedroom for her phone.

Sitting up, she opened her eyes to find Mitchie sprawled out in front of the dresser. Her shoulders dropped, a frown appearing on her face. Her fingers ran over her lips, and she shook her head. It was probably for the best that she hadn't found Mitchie's head on her stomach this time. She exhaled quietly, and reached for her phone. It was already eight.

Alex crawled over and leaned against the dresser. She bent her knees and sat above Mitchie's head. She massaged Mitchie's scalp. "Hey, Mitch. It's eight. I should go get ready for work, but I wanted to say, thanks for having me, and I'm sorry I can't seem to stay awake when we watch movies."

Mitchie's hand flopped around, looking for Alex's mouth. "Stop. It's too early."

Alex laughed, and removing her hand from Mitchie's hair, grabbed her hand. "No. You have to go to school anyway. So, come on, just get up."

Mitchie whined, but lifted her head. "Do you have to work today? Can't we just skip life and go do something?"

Shrugging, Alex dropped her eyes. "Sorry. I've gotta pay bills and for school and stuff."

Mitchie sat up, her legs tucked under herself. She didn't say anything to that, but instead stood and held her hand out for Alex.

Once Alex was standing, Mitchie tried to let go, but Alex held on. Mitchie paused and looked at her. "Whatcha doin'?"

Alex laughed. "Holding your hand."

Mitchie raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want to do that?"

Alex shrugged as they walked towards the front door. "I don't know. Holding hands can be nice sometimes."

Alex didn't have a real answer as to why she wanted to hold Mitchie's hand. Maybe it was because Mitchie had been so embarrassed last night after that kiss, or maybe it was because of how cute Alex thought Mitchie was when she was embarrassed or because she'd reacted so awkwardly to Mitchie's kiss. Maybe she just wanted to hold her hand; she didn't know.

Mitchie didn't question it, but didn't try to lace their fingers together since Alex had cupped them. She tightened her grip and Alex squeezed her hand. A big smile broke out on her face and Alex laughed.

"Shut up." Mitchie smacked her before she opened the front door.

Alex winked. "I'll see you—"

"Oh, wait, do you want your DVDs back?"

She shook her head. "Nah, I'll see you again."

"Did you want to come over tonight?" Mitchie tried not to look too eager.

Alex's smile fell. "I've gotta work at both jobs today." She paused, conflicted. She realized she really wanted to see Mitchie. "But if you want to go on a late night run…"

Mitchie fought a grin. "Okay. Just, um, call or come over, when you want to do that."

Stepping outside, Alex waved. "I will. Have fun with class."

Alex heard the door shut behind her. She touched her lips again. A small part of her regretted not kissing back last night, but a bigger part of her was nervous about all of it. She didn't like how she felt so attached to Mitchie. She'd just agreed to go on a late night run after working a double, and it wasn't because she loved running that much. She only ran once a week, maybe once a month. She'd only started, because of Mitchie. At first, it was because seeing Mitchie running made her feel out of shape, but then it was because she genuinely liked Mitchie's company.

She changed shirts and grabbed her keys. What was she doing? She sighed. She thought about their conversation from the night before. An exclusive friendship. What did that even mean? Alex pulled her black dress pants up and zipped them. Did it take the pressure off? They weren't dating each other, but they weren't dating other people. It felt like there wasn't a pressure, but what if Alex met someone and wanted to date her? She shook her head, mumbling to herself. "Nope. That wouldn't happen, because you don't date people."

She shoved her keys into her pocket and slung her backpack over her shoulder. Once she was driving, she let her mind wander to Mitchie again. She really liked holding her hand, but she still wasn't sure why she'd done it, especially after requesting Mitchie refrain from kissing her anymore.

She bit her lip. Maybe she did it, because of that. Maybe she wanted to give her something. She let out the breath she'd been holding as the green light changed to yellow, then red. She tapped the steering wheel and watched the cars passing through the intersection. Maybe hand-holding was her middle ground. She closed her eyes and thought about that picture Mitchie's accidentally caused. She wanted to see that picture again. She wondered if she could send it to herself later, without Mitchie noticing.

She shook her head and blinked. What was she doing? She turned her car off in the parking lot and gathered her things, trying to focus on the homework she needed to finish while she was at her office job.

After she got to a stopping point with her work, she pulled out her textbook and started trying to focus on the reading material while there was a lull in her workload. Suddenly, she snapped her head up and stared out the window as a weird feeling settled over her. She felt hair between her fingers, soft, warm; her fingers twitched as she felt a palm against hers. She looked at her hand holding the textbook. She laughed; she missed Mitchie.

She fished her phone out of her bag and stared at Mitchie's conversation thread for a long time. Finally, she clicked on it.

_Hey, do you want to do a quick dinner between my shifts? I'm done here at four and then I work at the restaurant tonight at 6._

_ Mitchie: Hey! Sure. Just tell me when and where. :)_

Alex smiled and tapped the edge of the phone. _You pick, and I'll meet you there at 4:15._

_Mitchie: Okay. How about Angelo's?_

Alex frowned at how much that sounded like a date. Angelo's was a very date-like spot, but it was close to both of her jobs. She groaned; she wanted to stop overthinking this so much. _Okay, that sounds good! See you then._


	3. I Need the Company

**Thank you for the reviews. I really appreciate them. I also appreciate the nice things said on Twitter. Both forms bring me valuable feedback. Feel free to follow me on there if you don't: heartvshand**

**Demena-Nerd, I've actually seen your story & it is on my list to read. I hope to get to it soon :)**

**The title comes from "Company" by An Horse.**

**Disclaimed. Hope you enjoy. **

3. I Need the Company

Mitchie waved Alex over, and Alex couldn't ignore the huge smile taking up the other girl's entire face.

Alex bit her lip and returned the wave as she walked to her. "Hey." She sat in front of her and adjusted her silverware and napkin.

"I ordered a water for you, since I didn't know." Mitchie explained this as their waiter set a glass down in front of each of them.

"Thanks," Alex said, picking up a menu. The waiter walked away and Alex continued to scan the menu. "So, do you come here often?" She flipped the menu over.

"No." Mitchie was still reading over the first side of her menu. "I just picked this place because it's close to both of your jobs."

Alex fought a smile, but didn't fight the warm feeling in her chest. "Thanks." She turned the over again and read through the pastas. "Do you want to split a pizza?" She tried not to think about how date-like that sounded.

Mitchie looked up from the menu. "Yeah, sure." Her eyes lingered on Alex, but she didn't look up from her menu. "How was your day?"

She lifted her eyes. "It was good. I got everything done for history and art. I'm probably going to work on my essay for composition over the weekend, though, since it's not due until Monday."

After they placed their order, Alex asked, "How about you? How was your day?"

Mitchie shrugged and ran her index through the ring of water her glass had left. "It was okay. I haven't heard from Shanelle, so I don't know. I guess that's a good—"

"So you want to hear from her?" Alex frowned, reached for her water, and then realized a strange anger had coiled in her chest. She counted to ten, trying to chill out.

Mitchie was confused by her reaction, but slowly shook her head. "No. I just…thank you for helping end that."

The weird prickling in Alex's stomach subsided and she nodded. "Oh. You're welcome." She watched Mitchie's fingers flit over her rolled napkin. "You still want to run later?"

Michie's heart sped up. "Yeah. Definitely." She kicked herself for adding 'definitely' she felt over-eager.

Alex couldn't stop the smile inching across her mouth; partly because she was excited, and partly, because she could hear Mitchie's excitement. "Okay, cool."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. Alex watched the servers weaving through the tables and chairs and bursting into and out of the kitchen, while she pretended not to notice Mitchie sneaking glances at her.

Alex cleared her throat. "So, I missed you today."

Mitchie locked eyes with her and smiled slowly. "I missed you, too." Her stomach was in knots; she had no idea what had prompted Alex to say that, since it sounded girlfriend-y, but it excited her.

Alex sighed. "It bothers me that I missed you, though. I've only known you since, like the end of July or early August."

Mitchie's eyes stung, but she kept her voice even, thankful for the dim lighting of the restaurant. "I'm sorry?" She slid her fingers over her wet cup and tried to focus on droplets of water.

Alex reached for Mitchie's hand. "No. I didn't mean…Sorry. Let me try that again." She licked her lips, but her mouth was still dry. "I'm just…scared that you're already a distraction and I know that's not your fault. I'm just really nervous about…losing focus."

Mitchie, still somewhat confused, stayed quiet and watched Alex playing with her fingertips.

Alex sighed and swallowed. "Sorry. Can we just pretend I didn't speak at all? Please? I'm really bad at people."

Mitchie laughed quietly. "Uh, yeah…okay. And don't take this the wrong way, but when's the last time you even tried to talk to anyone about feelings?"

Alex's hand paused and she leaned back in against the booth. "I talk to people." She folded her arms across her chest.

Mitchie's smile disappeared. "Hey, I didn't mean…I was just kidding."

Alex shook her head. "No, it's fine. I'm saying I know how to talk to people…I just haven't in a while. Not like this…so I'm just out of practice."

Their pizza was placed in front of them and after they thanked the server, Mitchie said, "Alex." She unraveled her napkin and set her silverware on the table and placed her napkin in her lap. "I like that you don't have a lot of friends. It means I don't have to share you as much." She winked, hoping she wasn't coming off as a jerk.

Alex gave a small smile. "Mitch…stop." She grabbed a slice of pizza and bit into it.

They fell into another comfortable silence while they ate and once they finished, they talked about some news stories Mitchie had seen after class. Alex's focus was split between obsessing over how Mitchie's hair looked so nice, hanging on Mitchie's every word and freaking out about how she was hanging on everything Mitchie was saying.

When the waiter brought the check, Alex decided to pay for it, despite her early nerves about it being too close to a date.

"You really don't have to do to that." Mitchie pulled her debit card out and handed it to Alex. "We can split it."

Alex shrugged and stuck her card in the book and slid Mitchie's back across the table. "Don't worry about it."

As they got up from the table, Alex took Mitchie's hand and smiled. "It was just easier."

"Well, still, thank you. I owe you." Mitchie worked up the courage to thread her fingers through Alex's.

Alex winked and slowed as she approached her car. "Well, this is me." She reluctantly slid her hand from Mitchie's, trying not to think too much about what that meant.

Mitchie sighed and dramatically threw her hand across her forehead. "How will I survive such a boring evening?"

Rolling her eyes, Alex unlocked her car door and stood between the door and seat. "I'll see you later." She sat down, and before she shut the door, she said, "Thanks for eating with me."

Mitchie dropped her arm and waved, and headed to her car, throwing a "Bye, Alex" over her shoulder.

Mitchie started her car and followed Alex to the end of the street. When they turned separate ways, Mitchie fought the urge to follow her. She wanted to go sit at the bar until Alex's shift was over, but thought better of it.

She drove home, thinking of Alex and how guilty she was trying not to feel. She'd just broken up with Shanelle, and here she was, knee-deep in feelings for Alex.

She tried to figure out if she'd liked her before this week. She wondered if maybe they were just soul mates and that was why she'd fall into these feelings, but quickly laughed at herself. She knew that sounded outrageously cliché, and really stupid. She pulled into her driveway and sat for a minute, looking at Alex's house. She chewed on her lower lip, picking at the slightly chapped skin with her teeth. She needed to chill out. The plan wasn't to date Alex right now, it was to be single with her, then maybe date later.

#

After Alex changed into her running clothes, she called Mitchie. When the ringing stopped, Alex spoke. "Hey, you ready? You still want to go?"

Mitchie yawned. "Yes, definitely."

Alex laughed and dropped on to her couch. "You sure?"

Mitchie groaned, mumbled something and then yawned again. Alex listened, playing with her shoelace. She thought about double-knotting them, since the laces looked a little longer than usual.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Mitchie sounded a little more awake, but Alex still doubted it.

"If you want to see me, we can do something else. You sound like I woke you."

"You did. But I want to hang out."

"Then just come over. I'll meet you in between our houses." Alex got up and quickly changed out of her running outfit so Mitchie wouldn't feel bad.

Mitchie grumbled. "You come over."

"Fine." Alex grabbed her phone charger and a change of clothes. "I'm staying the night. Let's just face it."

Mitchie laughed. "Will you want to sleep on the couch or will you share the bed? It's queen size."

Alex paused. What was she doing? She resumed stuffing her school bag with the items she'd need for tomorrow. "Fine."

"Which is it?"

"I'm outside, come on, let me in." Alex ran out and was stepping up to Mitchie's front door when she opened it. "Hey."

Mitchie's face lit up as she stepped aside. "Hey."

"I'm pretty tired." Alex hurried down the hall. "Let's go to sleep."

Mitchie followed her to the bedroom, confused by the rush, but not questioning it. "So, sharing a bed?"

Alex turned around and put her index finger against her lips. "Don't make a big deal about it, or I might change my mind."

Alex's words bounced around in Mitchie's ears, and a wide smile struggled to appear on her face. Mitchie set her phone on the nightstand and crawled under the blanket. "Is that side of the bed okay?"

Alex glanced at it and nodded. "Do you want to watch 'Friends' or just sleep?"

Mitchie hated to disappoint her, but she chose to just sleep and Alex crawled into the bed next to her.

Alex lay on her back; the ceiling had little bumps protruding from it and she worked her way through a maze of them. The soft noise of Mitchie's breathing reminded her she wasn't alone.

Mitchie rolled over on to her side, but Alex stayed still. "Hey, do you ever say something to a teacher and then realize later in the semester that you sounded so stupid. And you just can't stop replaying that moment in your head after the fact."

Alex laughed. "Yes. Oh my god. I've stopped making bold claims about anything until the end of the semester."

Mitchie smiled into her pillow. "It sucks. It happened to me today."

Alex rolled to face the other girl. The space between them felt infinite, but Alex resisted the urge to scoot closer. "That sucks." She watched Mitchie's silhouette rising and falling. "So, what'd you do this evening?"

Mitchie's breath stopped and her silhouette caught between up and down. "Shanelle, um, ambushed me after class." She took a breath, and slowly exhaled. "She wound up blowing up my phone. I wanted to text you, but every few minutes I'd get a message from her or one of her stupid friends."

Alex groaned. "Wow. I'm sorry they seriously suck."

"Eh, it's just because they're still so young. Like, they're still mentally fresh out of high school really. I know she's a sophomore, but she still hangs out with some high schoolers at parties and like, college freshmen, who are practically still high schoolers who just transferred to a new school."

Alex laughed, but nodded into her pillow. "Yeah, that's true. I'm still sorry."

Mitchie sighed, and her breath found Alex's face. "It's okay. It's my own fault for thinking Shanelle was, like, mentally older than she is."

Lying in the dark, Alex felt more at ease, like she could talk more freely. Alex cleared her throat. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Where did you and Shanelle even hang out?"

"Her dorm, or here, usually she hated getting a ride here and didn't like to stay the night too often."

"Oh. So, you weren't…" Alex stopped, realizing it wasn't her business.

"I wasn't what?"

Alex was thankful for the dark. "Having sex with her."

"Oh." The sound of traffic on the highway behind their neighborhood floated into the silence. Mitchie didn't know why, but she felt she could tell Alex anything. She decided it was because she couldn't see her right now. "Well, this is embarrassing. Um, yes. We did it, but she wasn't very…good, so I didn't really enjoy giving her anything when I knew it wasn't going to be returned very well."

"Oh, that sucks. Sorry."

"Yeah," Mitchie said, giggling. "Oh my god." Mitchie took a breath. "I can't believe I want to tell you this. But I had to lie and say I felt like we'd rushed things, but thankfully, she bought it, since we'd only been dating for, like, a month."

Alex laughed. "Well, yeah, that does sound pretty rushed."

"Yeah, I guess." Mitchie twisted her pillow around her arm and stuck her arm under her head. "How long would you wait? If you dated someone and all that."

"I don't know. I'd let it happen when it wanted to. I wouldn't rush into anything." Alex picked at the sheets.

"Oh. That's cool." Mitchie lay quietly, letting the crickets and cars rushing along sit between them. "That's a really nice answer, Alex."

"Thanks." Alex's eyes were adjusting to the darkness more and she could see Mitchie's face. "But that does suck. I had a boyfriend like that."

"You date guys?"

"Oh no. My parents, um, they wouldn't have liked me dating girls, so this was like, the last boy I decided to try this with actually."

Alex fell into the memory, recounting the way her ex-boyfriend couldn't get her to climax, couldn't make her as revved up as the girls in the action movies they'd go see. She rehashed how she realized she didn't like him like that no matter how hard she tried. "So, yeah. My dad caught me with a girl shortly after that and he really freaked me out. He calmly asked her to leave, and then he sat down with me and said, 'that' wasn't happening in his house. So, I apologized and said I wouldn't see her anymore. Then he said I needed to focus on graduating college. So, I started trying to do that, but I was unhappy."

Alex sighed. "Sorry, I've been talking forever."

Mitchie's hand found hers in the dark. "What? You're just stopping there?"

Laughing, Alex said, "Sorry. But yeah. It's kinda boring after that."

Mitchie shifted; Alex felt that the weight of Mitchie's body was closer to hers. "I like listening to you talk, though."

Alex laughed again, hoping the nerves weren't too apparent. "Maybe I'll tell you the rest later." Alex's eyes closed. "I'm kinda tired right now."

"Me, too." Mitchie turned so she was lying on her back again, letting go of Alex's hand. Her elbow was touching Alex's and she scooted away.

Alex wanted to reach over and stop her, but decided against it.

#

Mitchie woke to find herself tangled with Alex. Her head was resting on Alex's outstretched arm, while her other arm was draped across Mitchie's waist. One of Alex's legs had trapped Mitchie's.

Twisting around to face Alex, she studied the look on her face. She was still sleeping, and Mitchie wanted to curl up against her. Her dark hair had fallen across her eyes, and her mouth was slightly open; Mitchie wanted to kiss her.

Instead, Mitchie reached for her phone and took a picture of Alex. Smiling, she admired the photo. Glancing at the time, her smile faltered.

"Shit. Alex. Get up." She quickly climbed out of the bed before Alex could wake up and find them like that. "We're going to be late."

Alex opened her eyes and watched Mitchie grabbing clothes. Alex exhaled and sat up. "Damn."

She got up and unzipped her bag. "I'm gonna leave my stuff, so I don't have to carry anything besides my books."

"You could just stay again. Tonight." Mitchie pulled a t-shirt over her head.

Alex was thankful they were facing away from each other. She bit her lip, trying to stop a smile. "Yeah, maybe." She was really starting to fear she was leading Mitchie on.

"Cool."

Alex zipped her pants and spun around while Mitchie shoved her feet into her shoes. Alex pulled her keys out and said, "I'll drive."

"Okay, thanks." Mitchie led the way out to the car.

They raced down the highway, but when they were a few stoplights away from the school, Alex turned the radio down.

"Hey, do you feel like…I'm leading you on?" Alex's words felt clumsy as they tumbled out of her mouth.

Mitchie frowned and twisted her fingers around each other in her lap. "No. I mean…unless you don't like me like that at all. Then, well, yes. But you do like me, right?"

Mitchie's heart was thumping in her throat.

"Yes. I-I do. I just…I'm not asking you out anytime soon." Alex drove forward, preparing to take the exit. "I mean, once we're done with school, if you'd still like to, maybe then. But not before."

Mitchie smirked and looked out the window. "What we're doing right now is fine with me." Alex didn't say anything, so Mitchie turned to look at her. "Is it okay with you?"

"I don't know. Yes. I think so? I like…what we're doing. I just—I need to graduate first."

Mitchie stifled a laugh, watching cars drive by them. "That's perfectly okay. I'm doing the same thing, Lex."

Alex glanced at her. "Lex, huh?"

"What? You call me Mitch all the time."

Turning off the car, Alex smiled and pulled the key from the ignition. "Yeah, but you've never called me anything besides Alex." She unbuckled. "I'm just teasing, call me whatever."

"Okay, Whatever, let's go to class."

Alex locked the car and walked around the car to walk next to her. "You're so weird."

"I'm weird? You want to be called Whatever."

Alex lightly pushed her as they walked. "Stop it."

"I will, if you let me hold your hand." Mitchie grabbed her free hand.

Alex sighed. "Fine."

Mitchie and Alex were attempting to trip each other as they walked down an empty hallway, laughing at their own stupidity. "What are we doing?" Alex said between the giggles.

Mitchie shook her head, falling against a wall and pushing off and into someone who had walked out of the side staircase doors. She stopped laughing and stood straight, looking up. "Oh, I'm so sor—" Mitchie's mouth fell open and she stopped speaking.

Shanelle glared at her and Alex tightened her grip on Mitchie's hand, pulling her away.

"Come on." Alex led her down the side stairs.

Mitchie sighed. "I should get to class. Uh, thanks for that."

Alex frowned. "I can walk with you."

Mitchie shrugged, letting go of Alex's fingers. "If you want."

Alex followed her back down the hall. "Is she usually over here now?"

"Yeah. She's a business major, so she's in this building a lot more. I wouldn't even be here if I'd just taken math when I was a freshman, but I hate it, so I put it off."

Alex gripped her backpack straps tighter. "That sucks. I'm doing the same with this history class."

Mitchie stopped outside of the classroom. "It does suck. Um, well, I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. I'll meet you after my first class."

#

After Mitchie's class let out, she went to the library to wait for Alex. As she walked, she thought about Alex and holding hands and Alex's question in the car. Did she feel led on? No. This had been what she wanted. And she eventually wanted to date Alex, didn't she?

She settled at a table and pulled out her notebook. She looked around at the rows of books, and then began doodling in the margins of her paper. Yes. She definitely wanted to date Alex. She turned her squiggle into a spiraling circle and lost herself in the safety of Alex pulling her away from Shanelle this morning.

Fingers covered her eyes. "Hey."

The voice made her jump, but she turned around and smiled. "Hey. Is class already over?"

"Yes. You wanna get lunch or do you wanna work on stuff here for a bit?"

Mitchie eyed Alex, wondering why she seemed so excited. "We can work for a while."

Alex set her stuff down and sat across from her. She pulled out her history textbook and flipped through the pages. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Working." Mitchie scrunched up her nose, hating that was her answer.

"All day?"

Mitchie sighed. "Yeah. I've got a double because Kyla begged me to cover for her. She's paying me extra, so I took it. So I work open to close." Mitchie regretted agreeing to do it, because she didn't want to spend her day managing a movie theater.

"Both shifts are managing, right?" Alex pulled her notebook out, watching Mitchie.

"Yeah." She turned to a new page of paper. "I only manage now…I don't think I could work box office or concessions and not kill someone or myself." She read the instructions above the math problems. "I don't think there are any new movies coming out this week, like nothing good that would cause us to be super busy. So I can do homework after the late shows start."

Alex skimmed the lesson and skimmed the directions, before she started writing answers down. "That's good." She hated how easy her homework was; taking a 100-level class after taking 300s and 400s made her cringe.

She was thinking about what Mitchie had just mentioned. After the late shows, she could do homework and that meant she had down time. Maybe she could hang out with Mitchie in the office.

She shook her head and re-read the next question about Frederick Douglass. She didn't have time to do that. She had an essay to write for English class, but maybe she could do that there.

She closed her eyes. "How long have you been working there?"

"Oh, for, like, um, since high school." She laughed. "Lame, I know. But the hours are flexible and they give me the time off I need for school as long as I work on the weekends. So, I don't complain."

Alex nodded. "That's cool."

"Yeah. I guess. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Writing an essay for English."

Mitchie watched as Alex concentrated on her history assignment. "Would you want to stay tonight?"

Alex didn't look up, and kept writing. "Yeah. That would be nice." She looked up and her pen froze. "It's nice, not waking up alone."

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah. It is. If the landlord didn't have a rule against pets, I would have gotten a dog."

Alex smiled. "Me, too. The house is just so…quiet."

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah. Like, when I used to have roommates, I always figured I would like to live alone, because they were always being complete asshats."

Alex laughed. "Yeah? I lived at home, so I never had that lovely experience."

"You're lucky. I wish I would have lived at home, but I was just too busy trying to get out. So, I lived in the dorms and then got an apartment with some…people. And then, after that, I decided to just move into the first house I found for rent, because it was such an awful experience."

Alex shook her head. "College kids are kinda lame."

Mitchie's lips twitched. "Yeah, we're a bunch of assholes."

Alex closed her eyes, hating that she thought it was a little attractive when Mitchie swore. "Yeah."


	4. Enough

4. Enough

Over the next few weeks, Alex and Mitchie fell into a routine, staying the night at each other's houses during the week, and only messaging each other on the weekends. On Saturday mornings, after waking up, they would eat breakfast, and then part ways until Monday morning.

As October turned into November, Mitchie still felt lonely on Saturday nights. After constantly sharing a bed with Alex, she dreaded sleeping alone. And this Saturday night wasn't any different.

She walked to her front door, fiddling with her keys. As she walked into her house, the usual disappointment of coming home at two in the morning to an empty house crashed down on her as she shut the front door. She sighed and tossed her keys onto the kitchen counter and then went to her room. She peeked through the blinds, checking to see if Alex's room was lit up or not. She didn't expect it to be, since Alex was never awake when she got off from work. She smiled when she saw a shadow cross Alex's room. She thought about calling her, but then thought better of it. Whatever kept them apart on the weekends was Alex's doing more than it was Mitchie's, so she felt Alex would have to break the No-Weekends rule they'd somehow formed. She changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed, scrolling through her messages with Alex earlier in the day. They never talked about anything too exciting; their main topics were still school, work, and pop culture, unless they were lying in the dark, half asleep; Mitchie spoke more freely then than she ever had spoken to anyone in her life.

Her phone vibrated in her hand. _Alex: Can you come here please?_

Mitchie's heart sped up. _Yeah, sure. Give me five minutes._ She set her phone down and pulled jeans on over her shorts; the fabrics bunched together uncomfortably, but she didn't slow down. She just wanted to see Alex.

When Mitchie walked across to the other girl's house, she found Alex standing on her front steps, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"What's up?" Mitchie shoved her hands in her pockets; the air was crisper than she remembered.

Alex held the front door open for her and said, "Just come in."

Mitchie laughed. "What is going on?"

Alex led the way to her room and opened her laptop. "What is this?"

Mitchie's mouth fell open and she laughed as she stared at an old picture of her, smoke bouncing off the flash, creating a fog as she grinded against a dude, while a girl groped Mitchie's chest. Mitchie's head was flung back like she was having the best time of her life.

"Mitchie." Alex sounded nervous.

Mitchie raised an eyebrow, trying to fight off laughter. "This is from freshman year. How did you find this?"

"You were tagged in it."

Mitchie laughed and sank down in front of the computer. "Wow. Seriously? Like someone tagged me recently?"

Alex's face was bright red when Mitchie looked up.

"What'd you spend your night doing, Alex?"

"Nothing." She wouldn't meet Mitchie's eyes.

Mitchie started laughing again. "Oh my god, Alex. Why are you stalking me on the Internet? Did you think this was from tonight or something?"

Alex shook her head. "No. I just didn't know…you ever partied."

Mitchie smacked her arm. "Yes, you did. I told you all about that little phase I went through, with the drinking and whatever."

Alex covered her face. "Oh. I guess I fell asleep."

Mitchie wrapped her arms around Alex's waist and pulled her onto her lap. "Was somebody jealous?"

"Shut up. No. I just…I thought…I don't know." Alex's shoulders fell. "I want to go to parties with you. If you go, I mean."

Mitchie stopped laughing and frowned. "I thought you didn't like parties, and you know I don't go to parties. That was at a really awful frat house during freshman year, seriously. I mean, yeah, that picture looks like I'm having a blast, but I woke up in some dude's bed with some other girl and I couldn't find my underwear. It wasn't really the best night of my life."

Alex sighed. "I don't know. I just…freaked out."

"About what, though?" Mitchie fought another smile. "This looks a lot like jealousy."

"No." Alex tried to get up off Mitchie's lap, but Mitchie tightened her grip. "I know what jealousy looks like. I just…I want to go to parties with you, because I feel like, I don't know…I'd feel left out."

Mitchie smirked. "Well, if I ever went to a party, I'd like you to come with me. So, I'll take you to the next one I go to, okay?" She rested her chin on Alex's arm. "But don't expect to be going out to some kind of rager any time soon, because I literally haven't been to a party in at least eight months."

Alex draped her arms around Mitchie's shoulders. "Sorry. I don't know…I just…" Alex didn't know how to explain what she was feeling. As she calming down, she realized if Mitchie had been out at parties on the weekends, she would have noticed. She sighed; several noises climbed up her throat, but didn't form real words. She got up from Mitchie's lap and sat on the edge of her bed. "Sorry."

Mitchie wanted to hug Alex, because she found it amusing how Alex had just reacted to some old photo. "Can I ask you something?"

Alex shrugged, crawling up the bed and settling into the middle of it.

"Were you upset that I was at a party or because of the other people in that photo and what I was doing with them?" Mitchie leaned back in Alex's swiveling, desk chair and folded her arms.

Alex stared at her for a few minutes. Her neck was growing warm the longer she looked at the other girl; she dropped her eyes and felt her body shaking. "I don't know."

Mitchie wanted to crawl up the bed and lie next to her, but stayed in the seat. "Well, think about that, and let me know." She smirked and got up. She stood next to the bed, and took Alex's hand. "I'll show myself out." She kissed Alex's fingers and smiled against her knuckles. "I'll see you Monday?"

Alex stopped Mitchie from releasing her fingers and her lips parted as she stared up at her. "I—Yeah, I'll walk you out."

Mitchie nodded and pulled her from the bed. "You sure?"

Alex nodded. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't want to stay the nights with her on the weekend. She shut the door behind Mitchie and stared at her silhouette walking across the yard.

She sat down at her desk and flipped through Mitchie's photos on Facebook, chewing on her tongue as she looked through all of the pictures of Mitchie at parties. A few minutes later, she got a notification for a new message.

_Mitchie: Still up?_

Alex laughed and replied. _Yeah._

Mitchie's response came instantly and Alex wondered if she'd typed it before Alex had even answered her. _Still creeping on me?_

_ Yeah._ Alex sifted through her albums instead of the tagged photos section. _You look really cute sophomore year._

Mitchie didn't say anything for a while and Alex wondered if she shouldn't have said that, but didn't apologize.

_Ugh, I swear…I'm about to remove all of those photos._

Alex laughed. _Aw, don't do that. Who else would I creep on a Saturday night?_ She clicked out of the album entitled: "get down and LIVE IT UP" and tried to click on a different album, but as soon as the page loaded, it said it wasn't accessible.

Alex frowned. _What are you doing? Are you seriously hiding these albums?_

Mitchie quickly responded. _Maybe. Why do you want to look at them anyway?_

Alex sat back and stared at the words sitting on her screen. That was a very good question. _I don't know._

_Mitchie: I was such a dork back then. There's no reason anyone needs to see these haha See you Monday, Alex. _

Alex rested her face in her hands and groaned. She clicked on the album she'd just left and couldn't get back into it. _Can you make it accessible to just me and you? Please?_

_ Mitchie: It's 'you and me' :P and no. Seriously, why do you want to look at these so badly?_

Alex stared at the blinking cursor and sighed. _Because I like you and I missed you today and I just…I like looking at them. _She typed it, but stared at it for a few minutes, debating whether she should hit send or not. All of those things were true, so why shouldn't she say them? She hit send and shut her laptop. Her breathing picked up and she burrowed into her bed.

Mitchie stared at Alex's words, surprised she'd answered so honestly and so forwardly. Alex's chat light had disappeared, and Mitchie sighed. Alex would send something like that then sign off. She thought about calling Alex, but doubted she'd get an answer. She glanced at the time and realized four in the morning was already creeping up on her; she needed to sleep if she was going to get anything done tomorrow.

She stared at her phone, trying to will Alex to message her. She closed her eyes and fell asleep, wishing Alex had asked her to stay.

#

Alex stretched before the nerves from last night's message hit her. She immediately logged into Facebook, no new messages. She frowned, trying not to feel disappointed. She checked her phone, no new messages. Her heart sped up. Maybe Mitchie had changed her mind; maybe she shouldn't have sent that last message. She bit her thumb and looked at her shut window blind. She walked over and peeked out; Mitchie's car was there, and she couldn't tell whether her bedroom light was on or not. She paced back and forth in her room.

Her phone buzzed and she looked at it. Mitchie's name was perched above a new message: _What are you doing today?_

Alex swallowed the small lump that had been forming in her throat and stared at her phone. Maybe she should continue not seeing her on the weekends; last night had ended in such a disaster. But she wanted to see her so badly, she wanted some sort of reaction to her message.

Alex tapped out: _Nothing. Just homework. Why?_

_ Can you meet me outside in twenty minutes, please? Bring a jacket._ Mitchie's words didn't seem angry, or happy, or anything really. It just looked like a request.

Alex hurried and got ready and sat on her front steps. _I'm outside whenever you're ready._ She hit send and looked up to see Mitchie walking toward her, a basket under her arm.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

Alex frowned and looked at her phone. It was already two in the afternoon. She shrugged. "Hey." Standing, she pointed to the basket under Mitchie's arm. "What's that?"

"A surprise. Come on." She nodded towards the car. "Get in. You can pick the music."

Alex laughed. "Don't I always get that privilege?" She buckled up while Mitchie set the basket on the backseat. "Do you have food in there?"

"Shut up and pick a CD."

Alex wasn't sure if she was being serious or if she was truly being aggressive, so she did as Mitchie said. "Is this one okay?" She held one up, but Mitchie was busy navigating the car out of the driveway. "Never mind, yeah this will do."

She laughed and drove them down the street. "Honestly, I don't know why it matters. This is like the shortest drive we'll ever take together."

"What are we doing?" Alex looked around; they'd left their neighborhood and had turned towards the downtown area.

"We're going to a park. And having a picnic."

Alex groaned. "But it's kinda cold out, Mitch. Why are you doing this?"

Mitchie smirked and parked the car across from a grassy field. "That's why I said you should bring a jacket. Come on."

Alex was happy she'd grabbed one, but she was annoyed Mitchie wasn't telling her why the picnic. She took the folded blanket Mitchie handed her. "Mitchie."

"Don't question it, Lex." She led the way to a decent spot and set the basket down and took the blanket from Alex.

Once they were seated and eating, Mitchie watched Alex's eyes roam around the park. The swing set was at the other end of the area, so it felt like they were just in a field that happened to be next to a playground.

Mitchie swallowed her bite of food and took a deep breath. "I like you, too. And I missed you yesterday."

Alex turned her attention from the swing set and looked at Mitchie. "So that warrants a picnic on a chilly, early winter day?"

Mitchie laughed. "Well, um."

Alex tilted her head and set her sandwich down. "Wait. Is this…supposed to be a date?" She searched Mitchie's face, but the other girl wouldn't lift her eyes. "Mitch. Look at me."

Mitchie picked her bottled water up and drank from it, shutting her eyes.

"Mitchie." Alex reached for her hand. "Is that what this is?"

Mitchie felt the warmth crawling up her neck, hoping it wouldn't make it to her face. Her eyes stung and she tried to convince herself it was from the brisk breeze that had just whisked through.

Alex shook her gently. "Mitch. I'm not going to be mad. Just tell me."

Mitchie looked up and locked eyes with her. "Yes."

Alex's eyes flitted to Mitchie's lips, but she quickly brought her focus back to Mitchie's eyes. "Oh." Her heart was beating so hard, she was certain she'd pass out, or her heart would explode.

Mitchie's fingers shook on their way to set the bottle of water down, and she closed her eyes. "Sorry. I know you don't want to—"

"Just give me a minute. I'm thinking." Alex exhaled as she tried to process this new idea. "I like the idea of going on dates with you, okay?" She pinched the bridge of her nose and ran her tongue over her lips, feeling them chap almost instantly. "But going on dates…that's not going to mean we're…Like, you're not my girlfriend. I can't have a girlfriend right now. I just…I want to do this with you, but—" Alex opened her eyes. She wished Mitchie could be inside her head, so she could just feel this idea growing instead of her pushing it out of her mouth in a jumbled mess.

Mitchie watched her through narrow eyes. She had no idea what Alex was trying to say. Her head was heavy and she just wished she could rewind time; she understood why Alex didn't hang out with her on the weekends.

Mitchie started packing up the food that was still sitting in front of them. "This was such a bad idea. I'm sorry. I just…I'm sorry I'm pushing this. I swear, I'm not going to try to pull anything. Like, I get it. We're just friends and I'm making this into a messy situation. God." She paused and ran her hand over her forehead. She blinked back tears. "It's like…this is so embarrassing. It's like you're breaking up with me before we even date. I'm sorry for putting you in this position, Alex."

Alex sat Indian-style on the blanket, watching her putting the things away, still struggling to form the sentence she wanted. "Mitch. Just…sit down. I'm still trying to say what I want to say. You're jumping to conclusions, and I don't like it. Like, calm down."

Mitchie froze, and slowly turned to face Alex. "Calm down? Seriously, Alex?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Stop. Sit down. I'm trying to say I want to go on dates with you, okay?"

Mitchie's hostility faded and when she silently said 'oh' her breath created a small puff of fog in the cold air. She sank down onto her knees and sat in front of Alex, keeping her eyes on her hands in her lap. "Sorry."

Alex grabbed her half-eaten sandwich and sighed. "Thanks for this. It was good. I'm just not hungry right now. Can I save it for later?" She sorted through the basket, looking for her discarded plastic bag.

Mitchie shrugged. "You're welcome. And…yeah. Do what you want."

Alex smiled and zipped the sandwich up. "Thanks. This was seriously a nice gesture. I just woke up. I'm sorry." Alex was still waiting for some kind of recognition of her idea, but Mitchie was being so still now. "So…uh, you want to go on dates with me, too, right?"

She saw Mitchie's lips twitch, but a smile didn't appear. She stood and poked Mitchie's side. Mitchie still didn't move, so she wrapped her arms around her middle. "Come on, Mitch. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous."

"I don't understand you, Alex." Mitchie let Alex pull her up into a standing position. She twisted around in her arms and stared at her. "Last night, you literally had a fit of jealousy which involved me coming to your house at, like, two in the morning. Because of old photos on the Internet. Then, today, I just try to do something…more romantic than crazed jealousy and you freak out and get nervous?"

"Hey, I was nervous last night, too." Alex let go of Mitchie, grabbed the basket and slid it over her forearm. "Last night was stupid. Can we just forget about that, please?"

Mitchie shook her head. "No. We can't just forget about everything that is awkward and uncomfortable between us." She reached down and grabbed the blanket and started folding it up. "Alex. It just doesn't work that way."

"I don't understand why you're so upset." Alex followed her to the car. "I am saying I want to go on dates with you. Can't that be enough?"

Mitchie opened the door to the backseat and tossed the blanket in and then took the basket from Alex.

Alex watched her and realized that a month and a half ago, holding hands had been enough, until it wasn't, until it turned into sleepovers every single night, until it turned into dinners, and…she sighed. "No, of course not. Nothing's going to be good enough for you until we're, like, officially together, is it?"

Mitchie slammed the car door shut and stared at her.

Alex wanted to smack herself; the pain on Mitchie's face flustered her more and she shut her eyes. Her body relaxed and she spoke softer. "I'm sorry, Mitch. That was out of line. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Can we just go on dates once in a while?" Her voice sounded like she was close to tears.

Alex opened her eyes and lifted her head. She wrapped her arms around Mitchie. She felt her body shaking and tightened her grip around her. "I'm sorry. Yeah. We can do that."

Mitchie nuzzled her head into Alex's shoulder and Alex kissed the top of her head. She watched a formation of geese flying overhead and blew a stream of air from her mouth, watching it turn into visible puffs.

"I really am sorry about that, Mitch. That was so out of line." Alex wasn't sure if Mitchie was overreacting, but she didn't let go until she felt Mitchie loosen her grip on her waist. Mitchie's arms slowly fell away from her and Alex removed her hands.

Mitchie wiped her eyes. "I just want to know you want me, too…sorry for…" She motioned towards her face and laughed. "I'm on my period. I just feel really emotional."

Alex pulled her back into a hug. "I do want you, Mitch. I'm just a bad girlfriend when I've got to split my focus."

Mitchie narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. "But when you graduate, won't you just have to work all the time…what's so different about dating someone now and when you are figuring out your career?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. School is a lot more work, especially while I've got two jobs to juggle. It's just …I'm already dividing my time and I wouldn't want to neglect you."

Mitchie felt a giant current run through her body; she loved hearing Alex say that, like she was specifically thinking of Mitchie and not just some girlfriend. She smiled, nodding. "Okay."

"We can do dinner once in a while or something?"

Mitchie laughed. "We already do that."

"You know what I mean." Alex opened Mitche's door, and then walked around to the passenger's side. "We can...do a movie and dinner or something."

"We don't have to go out on dates." Mitchie maneuvered down the road. "We can just watch TV and make dinner at our places together."

Alex glanced at her. "We do that now."

"Well, can we just call those dates?"

Alex shook her head. "Mitchie. I don't understand you. You take us on a picnic in the cold, then tell me we can just call what we've been doing all along dates." Alex laughed. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

They drove in silence for a while, but Alex shifted in her seat when they got to their street. "What are you doing today?"

"I've got to work at five. Why?"

"How late are you there?"

"Until ten or so, depending on how late the last show is. Since it's Sunday, I don't know."

"Oh." Alex unbuckled as Mitchie pulled into the driveway. "Would you want to hang out until then? I've got to read for history, but other than that, I don't really have anything due tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Mitchie grabbed the basket from the backseat. "Let me just run this stuff inside."

Alex put her arm out to stop her. "Or you could just bring it to my house."

Mitchie's chest swelled. "Yeah?"

Alex nodded, a small smile edging its way onto her face; her body felt tingly and she tried to ignore it. "Yeah."

They walked over to Alex's house. "I don't have a TV still."

Mitchie shrugged. "It's okay. I can just start bringing mine with me when we want to watch stuff."

Laughing, Alex booted up her laptop. She'd put off getting a television so she had a reason to sit so close to Mitchie when they watched stuff on her laptop, but she couldn't bring herself to admit that out loud.

"What do you want to watch?" Mitchie crawled up into the middle of Alex's purple and white comforter and rested her head on the pillow she'd unofficially claimed as hers.

Alex walked over, balancing the laptop in her hands. "I don't know. 'Teen Wolf' or 'Buffy' or maybe a movie?"

"I don't think I have time for a movie. It's already three-thirty."

Alex groaned. "Maybe we should just do an episode of 'Modern Family' or 'Weeds' then?" She situated herself next to Mitchie and sat the laptop across their thighs.

"Well, which one would you want to watch?"

Alex glanced at Mitchie's lips and then moved her attention back to the computer screen. She pulled up the necessary website and said, "Let's just watch 'Modern Family' – I can't watch just one episode of 'Weeds' right now."

Mitchie rested her head on Alex's shoulder. "Fine with me."

Alex tilted her head so that it was on top of Mitchie's; she got lost in the scent of Mitchie's shampoo. Her head filled with the noise she'd come to associate with being close to Mitchie and she tried to keep her breathing normal.

#

Alex turned her car off and stared at the darkened building. What was she doing? She closed her eyes and leaned against the steering wheel. She laughed. Well, she was here, so there was no point in letting the use of gasoline be in vain.

She grabbed her phone out of the cup holder and tapped it against the dashboard. How did she even word this? She sighed and typed. _Hey, Mitchie. Come to the front door. _

She stayed in her car for a moment, waiting for a response or to see Mitchie's silhouette in the glass front. She saw Mitchie walk through the lobby and towards the front door as her phone vibrated in her hand. _…you know I'm still at work, right?_

Alex quickly answered her. _I know. I'm outside. Come let me in, please?_

Mitchie appeared by the front doors and Alex hurried up to them.

Mitchie pushed the door open. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

The smell of popcorn hit her as she walked past Mitchie. Her stomach grumbled, but Alex smiled and unzipped her jacket.

Mitchie eyed her and said, "So, whatcha doin'?"

Alex shrugged, following Mitchie from the lobby. "I just thought I'd come keep you company."

Mitchie put her hand to her mouth, trying to stop the smirk. "Okay. Well. I have to go upstairs and turn off some movies we didn't sell to, but after that, I'm done until the late one lets out. I've already got my paperwork done and everything."

"Cool. Can I put this in the office or something?" Alex held up her jacket, looking around the place. She'd only been here a handful of times. The arcade was turned off and the lights above and around the concession were all off and the overhead lights in front of the box office weren't on either. The only ones were the emergency lights in the lobby and the hallway. "Don't you ever get freaked out being here like this at night?"

Mitchie opened the office door and tossed Alex's jacket onto her chair. "Eh, it's not so bad."

She led them upstairs and Alex watched while she pressed buttons and hit switches at several different machines. "So, how's your night going?" Mitchie glanced over her shoulder at Alex.

Alex was busy eyeing her in her dress pants and nice V-neck sweater. "Oh, um." She focused on their shoes hitting the concrete flooring and the whirring of the machinery. "It's been okay. I got my history reading done. How about yours?"

Mitchie spun to face her. "All done up here."

Alex turned and walked back the way they'd come, looking for the stairs, but Mitchie guided her down the narrow path, holding onto her elbow.

"So, yeah, it's been okay," Mitchie said once they were making their way back to the lobby. "The shift's been kind of slow. So it's kinda nice to see you. Sunday nights always drag on forever."

Sitting on the floor, leaning against the door to the box office area, Alex made a note of that, already playing out scenarios in her head. She saw herself bringing Mitchie hot chocolate, sitting outside on the front porch, watching the snowfall. She shook her head and refined from laughing. "Yeah, that sounds...miserable."

Mitchie glanced at Alex and wondered why she was here. "Yeah, it's kind of like a glass prison. I can see all these cars out here, busy with their own lives, and I'm just stuck here, with this giant glass window across the front of my building, watching the world turn without me."

Alex's nose scrunched up. "Ew." She picked at the confetti-looking carpet and traced the faded path from the two doors and the desk chair.

"Yeah. Ew, for sure."

They alternated between speaking and simply enjoying one another's company silently. Finally, Mitchie checked the last security camera and saw that the last movie was on its credits. "We can finally leave. Come on, I've gotta go back upstairs and turn everything off and wait for those credits to end. Then we can go."

"Cool." Alex got up, popping her back and twisting and shaking her legs, trying to get the feeling back into them. She followed Mitchie up to the digital projectors, trying to hide a yawn.

"Alex!" Mitchie covered her mouth as a yawn distorted her face. "Ugh. You can't bring your yawns in here. I can't be tired. It's only eleven!"

"Sorry." Alex rubbed her eyes in an attempt to wake up a little bit. She watched Mitchie focus on the machinery, pressing buttons, waiting for a beep, hitting another button, turning off the auditorium's lights. She finished up and they went back downstairs, and as they descended, Alex felt the air grow warmer as they got to the bottom of the steps.

Alex stood by the door while Mitchie set the alarm. Once Mitchie was within touching distance, Alex slipped her hand into hers before they walked outside. Alex hated that she wanted to ask, but didn't stop herself. "Would you want to stay over?"

Mitchie glanced at her as she sifted through her keys for the appropriate one. "Oh, tonight?"

"Yeah." Alex let go of her hand so she could find the key faster, while holding the deposit.

"Sure." Mitchie unlocked her car and tossed the deposit into the passenger's seat. "I've gotta run that to the bank, but after that, I can meet you at your house or you can meet me at mine, whichever."

Alex liked staying wherever with her, so she shrugged. "I can come to you, since 'Friends' is still at your house."

Mitchie squeezed her fingers. "Okay. I'll see you there."

Alex smiled. "Cool." She stared at Mitchie's lips before blinking, letting go of her fingers and walking to her own car.

Before Alex knew it, she was talking in the dark of Mitchie's bedroom, telling her all about some dumb thing she was afraid of as a kid. Mitchie stayed on her side of the bed, their knees were lightly touching, and Alex wanted so badly to close the gap. She knew how they would wind up later, but she refrained from doing anything. Instead, she continued her story.

When she was done, she listened to Mitchie talk about her first pet and then her second and how she and her childhood best friend had picked the second one out together. Since she freaked out about the stupid photos, Alex swore she wouldn't fall asleep during any of Mitchie's stories ever again. She listened intently, even though she wanted so badly to pass out.

Alex rolled onto her side, away from Mitchie. "I like listening to you talk, Mitch. But I really am so tired. I keep confusing your story for a dream. But I'm still listening. I just might not remember. I'm sorry."

Mitchie laughed and Alex listened to her moving around on her side of the bed. "It's okay, Lex. I'm sleepy, too. I think I've repeated the same line of information for a few minutes now, trying to remember where I was going with it."

Alex laughed, until it was interrupted by a yawn. "'Night, Mitch."

Mitchie sighed. "Good night, Alex. Thanks for tonight."

Alex smiled, but was too far gone to speak again.

#

Alex woke up to find her body pressed up against Mitchie's and she sighed, tightening her arm around the other girl. She kissed the spot between her shoulder blades and took a deep breath of her worn Motley Crüe t-shirt; she smelled like honey and detergent. She imagined doing this for the rest of her life and opened her eyes, letting out the deep breath.

She slid away from Mitchie and grabbed her phone. She crept around to the other side of the bed and took a picture of Mitchie. She shook her head and walked around the bed, considering deleting the picture. She wiggled back into her spot under the blanket and thought about pressing herself up against the other girl again, but hesitated.

She'd agreed to going on dates, and she'd seen her over the weekend. Why was she waiting to date her until after graduation again? She couldn't remember. She shut her eyes and remembered her jobs and the pile of homework that felt like it just never ended. She stared up at the ceiling and rolled over; there wasn't any harm in spooning, and it wasn't any worst than dates or holding hands.

Pressing her lips to Mitchie's back, she sighed.

Mitchie felt the warmth of Alex's breath and opened her eyes. "Hey, you." Mitchie twisted around and Alex removed her arms. "You awake?"

Stretching, Alex reached for the bed's headboard. "Yeah. I guess so."

"You want to go for a run?"

Alex covered her head with a pillow. "Can I tell you something without you laughing or making fun of me or whatever?"

Mitchie tugged at the pillow, but Alex held on tightly. "What is it?"

"You have to promise you won't tease me." The pillow muffled Alex's words.

"Fine. I promise. What is it?" Mitchie pulled at the edge of it, trying to get it away from Alex's face; laughing as she failed.

"I only started running so I could be around you more." She moved the pillow to her stomach. "Don't laugh."

Mitchie smirked, but kept her mouth shut. She straddled Alex and trailed her fingers down her sides. Alex flinched and Mitchie admired the way her face scrunched up. "Is Alex Russo ticklish?"

Alex shook her head. "No." Her voice was already hitching as Mitchie's fingers ran from her hips to her armpits and back. She shrieked and whined 'stop.'

Eventually, Mitchie stopped, but only once she was done trying not to laugh at Alex for running just to be around her. However, it was cute and did wonders for her ego. She rolled off Alex and fell onto the pillow next to Alex's head, leaving her arm draped across Alex's waist.

"You're cute." Mitchie ran her fingers through Alex's hair.

"What kind of soap or shampoo do you use?"

Mitchie laughed. "I don't know. Some honeysuckle stuff? Why?"

"It smells nice." Alex sat up, forcing Mitchie to untangle her fingers stuck in her hair.

"Oh, thanks."

"Yeah, no problem. Let's go to school."

Mitchie sighed. "Fine. If we must."

Alex laughed and grabbed her clothes out of her bag. "Do you suddenly dislike your classes?"

Mitchie watched the muscles in Alex's back as she changed shirts. "I know I know this, but I can't remember. What's your major?"

"Art." Alex pulled her shirt down and Mitchie looked away. "Yours is English, but like the teaching degree one, right?"

Mitchie sighed. "Yeah."

Alex kicked her pants off her ankles.

Mitchie tried not to ogle her lower half. She turned over and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. "Oh, shit."

Alex turned around as she zipped her jeans. "What?"

"My friend from high school is going to be in town over Christmas break. He wants to party." She laughed and set her phone down. "Well, wow. I guess you're getting your wish."

Alex shoved her feet into her shoes and frowned. "What?"

"I said I'd take you to the next party I go to. I guess that's going to be the one."

"Who is this guy?"

Mitchie hopped off the bed and grabbed some clothes from her dresser. "His name is Taylor. We went to high school together. He dated my best friend, Anita, but then he told her he was gay and they just stayed best friends. It was kind of weird, but then they wound up going to school like a few hours away from each other while I stayed here. They always invite me to party with them upstate, but I never want to drive three hours just to get drunk and be around a bunch of sloppy drunks."

Alex laughed and locked eyes with Mitchie while Mitchie changed facing the mirror. "So, you want to go to this party?"

"Oh, no. Not really. But I mean, I think you want us to go to a party and take trashy pictures, so we can." She spun around and raised an eyebrow at her. "That's what you want, right?"

Alex's head felt heavy and she dropped her eyes; she heard Mitchie's footsteps coming towards her. "Can we not talk about that?" She laughed and rubbed her arm. "Please?"

Mitchie sighed. "Well, let's still go and just see how it is. I mean, maybe if I go to go to a party with you, it'll be more… exciting."

Alex thought about the girl gripping Mitchie's breast and Mitchie's head tossed back and her rear end jutting out, pressed against some guy's crotch. "I don't know if it'll live up to the pictures I saw. I'm kinda boring if you haven't noticed."

Mitchie slipped on her boots and grabbed her backpack. "Well, it's not until December, so we've got like three weeks to decide."

Alex followed her outside, but directed Mitchie to her car. "I'll drive today."

"Cool. Thanks."

Alex started her car and thought about her double tomorrow. "I think tonight we should stay on campus and get work done. I don't want to deal with homework tomorrow during my morning shift. I think they actually have stuff they want me to look over." She rolled her eyes. She thought she'd like working for an art magazine, but she didn't. She just proofread articles; she didn't even get to touch the art submissions. Not even the discarded stuff.

"That sounds good to me." Mitchie grabbed Alex's free hand once they hit the highway. "Can we get dinner between your shifts tomorrow?"

"Eh, I'd rather not spend the money, but if you want we can make dinner tonight."

Mitchie shrugged and watched the businesses and side roads blur into each other. "Okay, we'll figure out something."

Alex focused on driving, but threaded their fingers together.


	5. Not Your Girlfriend

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5. Not Your Girlfriend

Mitchie wasn't sure if she was walking or floating to the car. She and Alex had just seen a movie and gotten dinner after. Alex drove, while Mitchie got them into the movie for free and Alex had insisted on paying for dinner. They were both calling it a date, and she was certain she'd wake up any moment and feel disappointment wash over her, but it hadn't happened yet.

"So, my house or yours?" Alex smiled and tapped the steering wheel. They were sitting in the parking lot of the Italian restaurant they'd picked out together.

"It doesn't matter." Mitchie glanced out the window.

Alex let her lack of an answer slide; they'd be able to decide once they got there. She took the shorter route home, but the way her mind was preoccupied with what would happen when the car stopped, she wished she'd taken the longer way. When she pulled into the driveway, she licked her lips, unbuckling from her seat.

"Do you want to watch 'Friends' or does it matter?" Mitchie said, fighting a yawn as she stepped out of the car.

The sharp wind forced Alex to squint and tighten her jacket around her body. Her teeth chattered. "Let's go to my house, it's closer."

Mitchie followed her to the front door, linking their arms. "You look really cute tonight." Stepping through the front door with the other girl, Mitchie brushed her lips against Alex's cheek.

Smiling, Alex let out a shaky breath. "Thank you. I thought you looked nice, too." Her heart was beating so quickly, she felt like throwing up. "Thanks for tonight."

Mitchie released her arm and took off her jacket, while Alex did the same. Walking down the hall, the two headed to the bedroom.

Alex tossed Mitchie a t-shirt and pajama pants. "I figure you don't want to hang out in your dress." She unzipped her jeans. "Sorry I didn't realize we were dressing up. I don't like to be cold."

Mitchie laughed. "I already told you it was okay, and that I thought you looked nice regardless."

Alex slipped into a pair of flannel pants and sighed. She walked over and unzipped Mitchie's dress for her. "Well, I'd dress up for you is all I mean." She saw Mitchie's shoulder blades and wanted to reach out and touch it. "Your skin looks really soft." She shook her head and walked back over to change out of her shirt.

Pulling the long sleeve shirt over her head, Alex faced the wall, but her ears were acutely aware of the sound of fabric riding down Mitchie's body. She pressed her lips together. Her head was swimming in dirty thoughts; she couldn't remember the last time this had happened. She swallowed and pulled a different long sleeve shirt over her head. "You decent?"

"Yeah." She dropped onto Alex's bed.

Once Alex was settled next to her and the lights were off, Mitchie debated scooting closer to her, but stayed put. She didn't expect anything to happen between them, but she wished Alex would just kiss her. She hadn't stopped thinking about what those lips would feel like pressed against her own. She exhaled, feeling her whole body let go of the air.

"What's up?" Alex's voice interrupted Mitchie's imagination.

"Nothing. I was just thinking."

Alex yawned. "Well, you huffed like it was something. You sure you don't want to talk about whatever you're thinking about?"

Mitchie wanted to say yes, but instead she rolled onto her side, facing away from Alex. "Sometimes, I just forget to take a breath."

Chuckling, Alex closed her eyes. "Night, Mitch."

#

"So, what did you think of the movie?"

Mitchie pushed the food around on her plate; when Alex spoke, she looked up and blinked. "Yeah, it was good. I liked it."

She was too busy with the question festering in her head. She'd been trying to approach it all night, but she just couldn't. They'd been going on these dates for a while now, and Thanksgiving was in a few days, but she was afraid to push the topic again.

"Can I ask you something?"

Alex looked up and nodded. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"We've been doing this for a few weeks now, and well, I'm seeing my family for Thanksgiving and I guess I want to know what to tell them."

Alex refrained from sighing, but set her fork down. "Tell them we're dating."

"Are we, though?"

"Yes. We go on dates. I don't know what more you want me to say." Alex grabbed her cup and took several long swallows from it.

Mitchie forced herself to stay quiet. She knew what she wanted Alex to say: that they were girlfriends, that she could say girlfriend without correction, that she could ask Alex to meet her parents. She knew she wanted a lot from the other girl. She stuffed a bite of pasta into her mouth to keep herself from saying anything she shouldn't.

She knew Alex had been right about nothing being enough for her. She hated that she was realizing it. Mitchie chewed, glancing around the restaurant. All of the couples around her weren't helping with her frustration. She couldn't say what she wanted without feeling like a jerk. She swallowed and let her eyes settle on Alex. "What are you doing on Thanksgiving?"

Alex shrugged, taking another drink of water. "Spending time with the family. Why?"

"You, uh." Mitchie cleared her throat. "My family always celebrates the day after because that's one of the busiest days at the theater, so I usually work. Would you want to come with me? Meet my parents?"

Alex blinked and picked her fork up and then set it down again. "Oh." She locked eyes with Mitchie and then dropped them. "Uh, can I think about it?" Alex bowed her head for a minute, weighing that option. "Sorry."

Mitchie stabbed another stuffed ravioli with her fork. "It's okay. No pressure. I just thought I'd ask." She smiled, hoping Alex would look up.

As Mitchie drove them home, Alex wondered if Mitchie would press the issue of making it official if she met her family. She wondered about her intentions. Once they were buried in Mitchie's bed, Alex cleared her throat and swallowed the nerves tickling her tongue.

"Hey, Mitch, could I ask you something without you getting upset?" Alex twisted her fingers in Mitchie's comforter.

"Uh, I'll do my best." Mitchie gave a small laugh, but Alex still heard the anxiety in her tone.

Alex's fingers found Mitchie's and she played with them. Imagining the black nail polish Mitchie had applied earlier in the week. Alex sighed. "What, um, why do you want me to meet your family?"

Mitchie stared up into the dimly lit room. She thought about turning off the television, deciding Monica and Rachel fighting didn't really need to be the soundtrack to this moment. She stayed where she was.

"I don't know. I guess because you're my best friend these days and I just…I want them to know the person I spend so much time with. I mean, you're in all my recent photos on Facebook or the photographer of them. My parents ask about you, about us. Don't worry. I don't call you my girlfriend. I always say, 'she's just a friend.'"

Alex heard the edge of bitterness in her last words and frowned. She ran her index finger over Mitchie's fingertips. "Oh."

"So, are you wanting to come or are you still thinking?" Mitchie watched the light from the television bounce around the room.

"Yeah, sure. But, um, I'm sorry, not as girlfriends. Not yet, okay?" Alex felt terrible for saying that, and she was surprised she wanted to change that.

Mitchie sighed. "I know. I just said I make sure they know we're just friends."

Alex heard the agitation in her tone and tried to sink deeper into the mattress. She didn't blame her for sounding upset. She scooted closer and wrapped her arms around Mitchie's waist.

Mitchie gasped, because Alex hadn't initiated any bedtime cuddling while conscious. Mitchie's cheeks hurt from the smile.

"I'm sorry. I do want you to be my girlfriend, just not yet. Please, be patient. I'm not stringing you along. I swear."

Alex's voice was a rushed whisper against Mitchie's ear, and her words caused the smile to fade, but she listened intently.

"I swear I'll get so stressed and just push you away if we make it official right now. I feel this pressure to put my significant other before myself in everything I do, and I can't afford to do that right now."

Mitchie didn't want to break the physical contact, but she wanted to see Alex's face, wanted so badly to face her.

"I tried to date one person once I started focusing on my school work, like my dad suggested, but it didn't work out. Maybe it was because I was drunk and high a lot or maybe it was because I was too focused on being someone's girlfriend. I don't know. But the break up was really messy and I fell behind in school that semester and I'm afraid of ever doing anything like that again." Alex took a breath. "I don't want anything like that to ever happen with you."

"Is that why you're sober now?"

Alex took another breath, trying to get her body to stop shaking. "Yes. It was really a situation I don't want to get into. It made me reconsider my priorities, though. So, after that, I decided school was my focus and that bettering myself needed to always come before anything else I wanted. I can't throw all of that away just because I like you a lot. I'm sorry, but I need you to respect that."

"Okay." Mitchie's mind was reeling. Alex, drunk, high, dating someone. The idea sounded so unreal. "I'm sorry."

Alex rested her head in the crook of Mitchie's collarbone and her cool breath hit Mitchie's chin. "I'm sorry, too. I know you can argue the point that it was probably the drugs, but please don't because I have enough to think about without having to re-evaluate that right now."

Mitchie was trying to understand, but she was a little annoyed and she couldn't help it. "What are you thinking about?"

"You, school, work. All the time. Then trying to keep you off my mind, that's been taking up a lot of time lately."

Mitchie grinned. Her eyes flitted over her shoes sitting by the door.

Alex relaxed into Mitchie. "I'm sorry we're just friends for now."

Mitchie wondered if it was safe to turn around and face the other girl. She wanted to look at Alex, even though she knew she couldn't really see her in the dark. Her fingers were itching to touch her, and she wanted so badly to kiss her.

She twisted and Alex loosened her arms, but didn't let go.

"You don't have to come to Thanksgiving." Mitchie scooted down a little to rest her head against Alex's chest. With her ear pressed against her, she could hear her heartbeat; it was still beating quickly.

"But I want to." Alex shifted onto her back, and Mitchie adjusted herself. She envisioned Mitchie's mom and dad smiling, waving, shaking hands, and doling out hugs. "Do you have any siblings?"

"No." The credits started playing and Mitchie glanced at the clock. "It's late. We should really sleep."

Alex played with Mitchie's hair and traced circles on her back. "Good night."

She listened to Mitchie's breathing slowly level out and she watched the next episode. Rachel did something stupid and Alex shook with a fit of silent laughter. She liked being here with Mitchie, and she was glad she'd scooted over and held her, even if she'd been trying to avoid doing that. She'd woken up tangled up in her enough to know it was inevitable.

Mitchie mumbled something and Alex kissed the top of her head. Her eyelids drooped and a feeling of contentment settled over her.

#

Alex opened her eyes and yawned. She let her eyes roam, realizing she'd beat Mitchie to consciousness. She watched the steady rise and fall of Mitchie's body and traced the contours of her face. She heard her laughter echoing in her ears, her voice in general. She wove a future with the sleeping brunette: making breakfast together before running off to their respective workplaces. She saw Mitchie teaching children while she peeked in through a sliver of window, and the picture in Alex's head morphed into Mitchie leaning against a doorframe, watching Alex painting.

Her heart felt three times bigger than her chest would allow for, and her breath caught; her ribcage felt full and heavy and an excitement surged through her. She blinked back the sting of tears and smiled.

She didn't know what this feeling was, but she liked it. She ran through her words from the night before. Maybe it had been the drinking and general partying, and not the girl she'd been sneaking around with, or maybe it was partly due to the sneaking around. She propped herself up on her elbow and studied Mitchie's slightly open mouth. Maybe she could think about dating Mitchie.

An idea trickled through her brain and she smiled wider than before, while laughter bubbled in her throat; she couldn't wait for Christmas.

She reached over and shook her arm. "Hey, sleepy. Get up. I want to have breakfast with you before we have to this day."

Mitchie buried her head under the pillow. "How about you make breakfast and I'll join you?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'll just go eat alone." She sighed loudly. "At my own house."

Mitchie's arm flopped around until it grabbed Alex's wrist. "I'm getting up."

Alex climbed on top of Mitchie and sat on her hip. "Come on."

Mitchie flung the pillow up, hitting her in the head. "Now you're giving me less incentive to do that."

"Getupgetupgetup." Alex hit her with the pillow.

Mitchie giggled, wiggling out from under Alex. "I'm going."

"Faster. You're not going to miss math today. You've only got a few more days until that final. You know it's going to kick your ass."

"Whatever. I've got a week and a half after Thanksgiving. Plus, I still want to go for a run."

Alex sighed. "After breakfast."

"Will you come?"

Alex shook her head, pushing off the bed. "No."

Mitchie pouted.

Alex covered her eyes, but the pout was still playing across her eyelids. "Fine. We can go. But after breakfast."

"No. Let's go before. You'll throw up after. I'll make us protein shakes."

Mitchie walked toward the kitchen and Alex shoved her shoes onto her feet.

"I'm going to get my running clothes." Alex grabbed her keys and headed for the front door.

Mitchie grabbed the peanut butter, bananas and whey protein and set them next to the blender. "I don't know why we don't just move all of our stuff into one house and stay there together."

Alex paused at the front door, gave a nervous laugh and shook her head. Why did she think that was a good idea? "Maybe we can talk about it when May comes around."

Mitchie bit her lip, but continued cutting the bananas into slices. "Cool."

Alex jogged over to her house, grabbed her work out clothes and when she returned, she had solidified her plan.

"So, whose place would you want to keep?" she asked, walking into Mitchie's kitchen.

Mitchie turned on the blender, but spoke over it. "I don't know. Whichever. Which would you prefer?"

Alex shrugged, looked around the kitchen, and glimpsed the doorway to the living room. She wondered if Mitchie had taken down the pictures with Shanelle, and again wondered why she didn't have any of her family. "I don't know. They're basically the same house, just flipped…so, whichever. Yours feels more like home, though."

Mitchie ducked her head, trying to hide her smile. "Well, thanks." She poured the shakes into two cups and held one out to Alex. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Mitch." She took a sip. "Oh, wow. You can't even taste the protein."

Mitchie flipped her hair. "I know. I'm amazing." She smiled and waved as if trying to wipe away her words. "I'm kidding. I just found the recipe on the Internet. It's really good, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Alex drank some more. "Thanks."

Mitchie shrugged, drinking hers. "No problem."

After their run, Mitchie let her thoughts wander to Alex while washing her hair. Alex had said she wasn't stringing her along, and she wanted to believe that, but she couldn't help but feel a little doubt. So far, Alex hadn't lied to her, but Alex wasn't too into explaining her rationale either.

She'd clearly tried, several times, but Mitchie walked away confused every time. She didn't understand what the word 'girlfriend' would hurt. She sighed, forcing the sting of Alex's repeated words out of her head as she rinsed the conditioner out of her hair.

"We're just friends," "I'm not your girlfriend," "You're not my girlfriend." Mitchie had heard many variations. Despite the fact that the words never came out of Alex's mouth in a sharp or angry tone, simply nervous and awkward and apologetic, Mitchie couldn't help but feel hurt by them. She'd heard it too many times in the last month, and she hated it. She got out of the shower to find a few new messages on her phone. One was from Alex saying she was ready, and one from her best friend from freshman year, Caitlyn.

Mitchie read it three times before she could even process it.

_WTF! Why are you hanging out with Alex Russo?! She's a total slut or do you not remember that she tried to steal my girlfriend?_

Mitchie didn't reply, instead she sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at the wall for a few minutes. What was she talking about? She flipped through her memories of freshman year; she couldn't remember the name Alex Russo ever being a red flag, but to be honest, she couldn't remember Caitlyn even having a serious girlfriend that.

She picked her phone up and stared at the message again. She decided to reply.

_When?_

Her answer came almost instantly. _Sophomore year. Stephanie…all that bullshit?_

Mitchie vaguely remembered that, but none of the details stuck out to her. She set her phone down and stuck her thumb between her teeth and bit down. She felt the ridges of her teeth digging into the flesh and listened to her bottom teeth tapping against the nail.

Her phone vibrated again and it was from Alex. _Hey, you ready? We're cutting it close._

She quickly changed into something warmer than her towel and shoved her phone into her jacket pocket and grabbed her bag and keys. Her phone went off again, and it was Alex. _It's snowing!_

Mitchie groaned, dropped her bag and keys by the door and changed her tennis shoes for boots and threw her damp hair up into a bun and grabbed a beanie to pull over it. She walked outside into the flurries and saw Alex warming her car up.

She walked over and tossed her bag in the backseat. "Hey, um, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What was the girl's name?"

"What girl?"

"The one you mentioned last night. The girl who you said things ended, like, super messy with."

Alex pulled out of the driveway. "Stephanie. Why?"

Mitchie sighed. "Do you know Caitlyn Geller?"

Alex laughed. "Oh."

Mitchie folded her arms across her chest. "So, you do?"

Alex groaned. "Do you?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Alex concentrated on the road, ignoring Mitchie's questioning look she could see out of her peripheral vision. She swallowed. "Well, we can talk about all of that later."

"I don't care about any of it. I'm not really close with Caitlyn anymore, and it's clear that you're not whoever you were when she hated you. But I want to know. Did you try to steal her girlfriend?"

Alex rolled her eyes and hit the windshield wiper lever. "That's a really messy situation; she said a lot of things to me. If you don't care about it, then why are you bringing it up?"

Mitchie stared out the front window, watching the snowflakes coming down in clumps instead of actual flakes. "I don't know. I just got nervous that maybe you…I don't know, did that sort of thing now? I don't know. I mean, I know you obviously don't…but I don't know. Just forget it."

"So you don't want to talk about it now or later?"

Mitchie dug her gloves out of her pockets. "Right. It doesn't matter, does it?"

"No. I'll gladly share my past with you, but it's stupid and I was an idiot back then. It wasn't my proudest moments and I'm certain sneaking around because of my dad and Caitlyn really influenced how messy that got on top of the partying. I don't know."

"Okay. I don't know why I brought it up. Let's just drop it. I know you're not that person anymore."

They drove in silence for a while, watching the snow flying toward the windshield. Once Alex parked the car, Mitchie unbuckled and reached for Alex's hand.

Alex sat back in her seat and watched the glass slowly get covered with snow.

"Sorry."

Alex blinked, but stayed still. "It's okay. Let's just not worry about it, okay?"

Alex walked Mitchie to math class and attempted to have a normal conversation with her, but it wasn't working.

"Hey, Mitchie." She held the last syllable and grabbed her hand. "Please, take a breath. I'm not mad, or even upset. I'm sorry if you think things are weird behind us now. Because they're not. Unless they are on your end."

Mitchie stopped them outside of her classroom. She exhaled. "So, if I ask questions, you'd tell me the truth?"

"You don't even have to ask. I'll happily tell you everything without you ever having to ask about it."

Mitchie stared at her and Alex ignored the question in her eyes.

"I know I haven't been too open about anything yet, but we're getting to know each other. By May, I swear we'll know each other well enough to be a couple. But I mean…you're acting like I'm your girlfriend and I've, like, been lying to you or something, which I haven't; we're just not there yet, Mitchie."

Mitchie groaned.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm gonna be late for class. I'm not mad, Lex. I'll just talk to you after your first class."

Alex squeezed her hand and let go. "Good luck in math."

Mitchie stood there for a moment, her eyes darting back and forth between Alex's, and Alex watched the emotions flitting over Mitchie's face and pulled her into a hug.

Putting her arms around Alex's waist, Mitchie tried to forget the words Alex had said moments before.

"I swear we'll be girlfriends sooner than you know, Mitch." Alex kissed her temple and stepped away.

Mitchie smiled, but it didn't light up her eyes the way Alex had come to admire. She walked into the classroom, while Alex headed to the library thinking about the nature of Mitchie's smile.

Her mind drifted to Stephanie and Caitlyn and her dad, and the partying in general, instead of focusing on the essay options sitting in front of her. She cringed at the thought of rehashing all those details; they were some of the most embarrassing moments. As much as she hated that she was about to relive them, excitement was pooling in her stomach at the thought of sharing herself with Mitchie. She dropped her pen, but rather than picking it back up, she watched the table a few feet in front of her.

The boy said something and the girl laughed; Alex's heart plummeted. What if she was a bad girlfriend? She picked her pen back up, but laid her head down on the table. She tried to shake that idea. Mitchie didn't have any complaints so far, and they were practically girlfriends. She lifted her head and decided to focus on the essay.

After finishing her outline, she checked her phone on her walk to class. Mitchie had sent her a message, but it was a forwarded one from Caitlyn.

_Alex Russo is bad news. Seriously. Stay away from her. Come out with Taylor and me!_

It was immediately followed by an actual message from Mitchie.

_I haven't spoken to her since, I guess, sophomore year before Xmas break, but I'm not going to hang out with them, b/c I don't think that stuff is true about the Alex Russo I know…so, I'm sorry for freaking out earlier. I'll see you after your class. _

Alex put her phone away and let out a deep breath, thankful Mitchie was calming down. She'd been afraid of how their conversation in the car had gone. Mitchie had seemed like she was dropping the topic for Alex's benefit, not her own. Telling her about all of that would be easier if she wasn't trying to make judgments before Alex got her side of the story laid out on the table. The look on her face outside of the math classroom had freaked Alex out, because it was the first time Mitchie had looked truly unhappy with Alex specifically.

#

Two days later, they were sitting in Mitchie's living room, taking stupid pictures together, when Mitchie noticed the picture frames.

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry! I forgot about these." Mitchie grabbed the frames and started pulling the pictures of Shanelle and her from them. "She got these developed for me as a gift, and I was pissed I had to get frames for them, but I guess now, I could replace them with photos of us."

Alex smiled, setting her phone down. "I wondered why you didn't have any pictures of, like, your parents."

Mitchie, laughing, set the empty frames on her coffee table. "Yeah. I wouldn't have any photos if they hadn't been gifts." She rolled her eyes and straightened the small stack of old photos.

"We could go get these developed at Walgreens."

Alex grabbed the fleece throw Mitchie had brought out from her room and wrapped it around herself. "You want to drive?"

"Sure."

Mitchie handed her cell phone to Alex and then walked into her room and grabbed her laptop. "I'll order them online. Just send the best ones to my email."

Alex flipped through the stupid photos they'd just taken. "How many do you want?"

"I don't know. We've got six frames, two of which hold two photos and one holds three. So, pick however many."

Alex sent the ones she liked best, and Mitchie ordered them.

Mitchie shut her laptop and took it back to her desk. Plopping down on the couch next to Alex, she said, "We'll go pick them up in an hour."

"Cool." Alex rested her head on Mitchie's shoulder. "I'm glad we don't have classes today."

"Same here." Mitchie yawned and lifted Alex's head. She stretched out across the couch, resting her head in Alex's lap. "Do you work tonight?"

"Yeah. Do you?"

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah. Then I open tomorrow."

"Lame." Alex ran her fingers through Mitchie's hair and bit her lip. "You look really cute today."

Mitchie giggled. "Thanks. So do you."

Alex smiled. They sat quietly for a few minutes before Alex's fingers paused. "Do you mind if I lie down, too?"

Mitchie scrambled to an upright position. "Sorry."

Alex shook her head. "No need for that. I just feel like lying down." She situated herself and Mitchie settled against her. "What do you wanna do with forty minutes?"

Mitchie thought of the different things she'd like to do, but realized they were all too inappropriate to actually say. "I don't know. We could watch an episode of 'Friends' or something."

Alex tightened her arms around Mitchie's waist. "No. You'd have to get up."

Laughing, Mitchie patted the arms around her middle. "Okay, or not."

Alex buried her face in Mitchie's shoulder. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

Alex took a deep breath. "I know the other day you said you didn't really want to hear about it, but I'd like to tell you."

Mitchie stayed quiet.

"So, after my dad told me I wasn't allowed to date girls while I lived with him, I tried not to. Mainly, because the way he was just so calm really freaked me out. But partly, because I was afraid he'd kick me out if he caught me. So, I tried to just avoid dating anyone, but I started partying a lot because any time I watched a movie or show with my dad and started noticing the girls, I'd get really nervous that he'd realize it. Then I just started getting really nervous about looking at girls or boys in anything, so I figured if I were drunk or high, I wouldn't look at anyone."

Alex stared off into space, thinking about how silly that sounded out loud. She laughed and then continued when she felt Mitchie slowly letting go of her hand.

"The logic was kinda skewed, I know, but it made sense to me at the time. I guess it got me out of the house, which I hadn't been doing for a while, and then one night, I met this girl and we made out at a frat party and so, I thought, if my dad didn't know about it, he couldn't freak out. And if he found out, I could just blame it on being drunk or whatever."

Mitchie bit her lip as Alex paused. She wasn't sure why Alex was sharing, but she liked it. She wanted to look at her, but refrained from moving, afraid to break whatever spell had caused Alex to open up.

Alex shifted. Her chin sat in the crook of Mitchie's collarbone as she continued. "Eventually, while I was doing these one-night stands with these girls, I met Stephanie and she was...different. For some reason, I wanted to see her again. I don't know. I just liked being around her. I didn't love her or anything, but sneaking around with her felt good at first." Alex cleared her throat.

Alex continued with her story, recounting how Stephanie had lied about the break-up, how Caitlyn had threatened to fight Alex one night at a party and paused before rehashing the worst part of it: Stephanie chose Caitlyn over her after a fight had escalated and that her dad had all but kicked her out after that night.

Once Alex had finished her story, Mitchie held onto her fingers loosely and stared straight ahead at the black television screen. She thought about Caitlyn, how she'd been at that party, she'd seen Caitlyn punch some girl, then dated Stephanie for another month before ending it with her. She swallowed, realizing Alex might have been waiting for a response.

"Oh." Mitchie knew it hung in the air between them, awkward and unsure.

"That's the last time I dated someone."

Mitchie squeezed her hand, but couldn't find any other words to say. She wasn't sure what she felt, beyond embarrassment for knowing Caitlyn and Stephanie, having watched that fight. "I was at that party…you were the girl Caitlyn punched."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, then she poured her drink on me and told me to stay away from her and her girlfriend."

Mitchie nodded; she could see the piss-colored drink bursting out of the plastic, red cup, dampening the girl's dark hair, dipping off her face and onto her chest. "Sorry."

She saw a younger, drunker version of herself laughing, stumbling back up the stairs from the basement to the kitchen, high-fiving Caitlyn before making out with the boy who was trailing behind her.

"For what?" Alex yawned, tightening her grip on Mitchie.

"I was there…and didn't do anything."

"Well, I believe you've mentioned how you were once a hot mess, too, so I don't blame you. I figured you might have been after you said you knew Caitlyn. Or had known her or whatever." Alex glanced at her phone. "We should go get those pictures."


	6. Holidaze: I

**First, sorry, it's taking me so long to update right now. ****Second, thank you for the reviews. They are always so great to see.**

**Third, this is for Sophia, for forgiveness, & f****ourth, this is also for Deanna & Alexa, because they're a great duo & without their motivation, I wouldn't be updating right now.**

**Consider the characters disclaimed, but I own my ideas. Still on Twitter, heartvshand, feel free to let me know what you think there, too.**

**I hope you enjoy & please, review.**

6. Holidaze: I

Alex stood on the porch to her parents' house. Biting her lip, she glanced over her shoulder. Her car was right there; she could turn around and leave. She considered driving home and crawling into bed, faking sick long enough to let them know she couldn't make it. Before she could make a definite decision, the front door swung inward, revealing her younger brother.

"Hey, Max."

"Alex! Hey. What are you doing?"

Alex stuttered, then shrugged. "I don't know. I was trying to remember if I locked my car." She pulled her hood off and walked past him. "Is Justin here yet?"

Max sighed, his shoulders drooping a little. "No. He's not coming."

"Oh, why?" Alex hung her jacket off and hung it up in the hall closet.

"I don't know. Working, I guess."

Alex wondered if Justin was really working or if he just didn't want to deal with Dad.

"So, how are you?"

Alex smiled and turned to face Max. "I'm good. How about you?"

Max led the way into the living room, talking over his shoulder. "I've been okay. I'm graduating next year and Mom wants me to take senior pictures. But did you or Justin have to do that?"

"Yeah." Alex laughed. "You just weren't forced to sit through them. They were awkward and weird. It was like being at a photo shoot. But, like, not glamorous."

Max groaned. "I do not wanna to deal with that. They've got me working a lot more now that you and Justin are both gone."

Alex let the conversation drop as her parents came into view. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, sweetie." Theresa spun around and looked at her. "We've got a buffet style dinner planned this year. I think it's just easier that way." The way her mom smiled at her, Alex was happy to be home.

Max put his hand up and spoke behind it. "They got rid of the huge dining table and only have this circle one that folds up."

Alex smirked.

Jerry placed three plates on the kitchen counter and took the top one. "It's great of you to join us, Alex. Now let's eat."

Alex refrained from rolling her eyes at his passive-aggressive words. She already remembered why she shouldn't have come.

Not long after they were settled in for the meal, Alex was on the verge of excusing herself and just leaving.

Jerry had been giving her a hard time since he'd gotten the plates out. She hoped she could just let it roll off her back since she really wanted to enjoy her time with Max and her mom, but he was proving to be extra hateful.

"I'm sure you're failing out of school this semester?" Jerry took a bite of turkey and speared a second piece with his fork.

Alex placed her cup against her lips and drank, shutting her eyes, feeling the water flow down her throat. Setting the cup back down, she cleared her throat. "No. I've got perfectly fine grades."

Jerry scoffed, muttering under his breath. "Perfectly fine. I'm sure that means you're barely passing."

Alex stabbed a green bean on her plate. "No. My grades are fine, Dad."

"No need for the attitude, Alex. I was just asking." He set his fork down and wiped his face with his napkin.

Max shifted next to her uncomfortably; Alex wished someone could change the subject.

Theresa sighed. "Jerry, leave it alone. Just eat."

Max turned to Alex. "So, who's that girl in all your recent posts?"

Alex cringed. That wasn't the topic-change she'd been hoping for.

Jerry paused, but Theresa tried to continue talking. "Just once. Can we just enjoy one holiday get together just this once?"

Jerry held up his hand. "Now wait a minute. What girl, Alex? Answer your brother."

Max rubbed his arm and mumbled a 'sorry' that was only audible to Alex.

"She's just a friend, Dad." Alex shook her head. "I'm not dating anyone if that's what you're trying to get at."

Jerry eyed her, but she ignored the way his eyes burned through her.

Alex continued eating and wished that Max and her mom would do the same.

"Alex. Look at me."

Alex set her fork down. "What?"

"Focus on school. Do you understand?"

"She's just a friend. I don't date people." Alex was thankful she hadn't caved and asked Mitchie to be her girlfriend the day they picked up their pictures from Walgreens. She'd felt close to doing so.

"Good. You shouldn't."

"It's not like you're paying my tuition, Dad. What does it even matter? Plus, dating someone wouldn't mess up my schedule nearly as much as you believe it would."

"Alex. I don't want you dating girls. No daughter of mine is going to have that lesbian year in college."

"What's so wrong with it?"

Max scooted his chair back slightly, but Jerry put a hand on his shoulder. "What if Max decides it's okay to date men when he gets to college? Do you want to do that to your brother?"

Alex's mouth hung open and she stared at him. Was that really his big arguing point? She blinked and worked on closing her mouth. "Dad. If Max wants to date men, that's fine. That's just as okay as me wanting to date women!" Alex wanted to push his hand off Max's shoulder, but it wasn't convenient. She pushed her chair back.

"Dad, you said I couldn't do that kind of stuff while I was under your roof. I put up with that, but you're not going to tell me I can't do that now. Especially not if it's only because you think it'll somehow influence Max! You can't use him as an excuse for your intolerance and your refusal to accept your own kid."

Jerry stood up, following Alex to the front door. "If you leave this house right now, you're not coming back."

"Fine." Alex yanked her jacket over her arms. "I don't know why I'd want to be in here anyway." She grabbed the front door and paused. She wanted Max to come with her, but thought better of it. "Happy Thanksgiving."

She stepped outside and heard the front door slam behind her. She rubbed her eyes. She studied her shoes as she made her way to her car. She regretted ever getting out of Mitchie's bed that morning.

She buckled her seatbelt and turned on the car. While she waited for the engine to warm up a little, she checked her phone. She had one new message from Mitchie.

_Hope your thanksgiving dinner goes well! :) If you want to see a free movie after, swing by. I'm here until 8 tonight._ :(

Alex rested her head against the steering wheel. Mitchie had sent that an hour ago. She couldn't believe she'd been at her parents' for an hour.

She decided she'd message Max before she left.

_Hey, sorry…He just really killed me. I know you didn't really think before you said what you said, so I'm not mad at you, just so you know. I love you and I love Mom. I will come visit you two when he's not home from now on._ She hit send and chewed on the inside of her cheek. She quickly typed up a second message for him. _Also, if you want come live with me when you graduate, you can. _

Once she was parked outside the theater, Alex silenced her phone and walked in. The box office worker smiled and greeted her and she asked if Mitchie was around. The cashier spoke into a walkie-talkie and a few minutes later, Mitchie was motioning Alex to follow her.

"Hey, so how was your late lunch?" Mitchie led them up a long and narrow set of concrete steps.

"I was there for, like, an hour. I think my dad forbade me from ever coming back to their house…I'm not really sure." Alex copied Mitchie's movements as she weaved in between the projectors.

"That sucks. I'm sorry." Mitchie pressed several buttons a few of them and then led them down a second set of concrete steps. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm…okay." Alex wasn't sure what she was feeling; she wasn't sure if she was or wasn't okay. She just knew her dad's words were weighing on her funny. Maybe he had a point. Maybe she should focus on school still…then she considered his argument about being a bad influence on Max.

Mitchie bumped her shoulder against Alex's. "Well, you can go sit in any movie you want. They've all started, except…" She pulled out a slip of paper and looked at the start times on all the movies playing. "_The Hobbit_. That starts in ten minutes."

Alex shrugged. "I might just go home. I'm kinda…" Alex let her eyes wander away. "I don't know. I'm just kind of mentally exhausted."

"Okay, well, I'll be home around eight-thirty if you want company."

Alex nodded. "Thanks, Mitch. I'll see you then." She started to walk towards the concession stand, but Mitchie grabbed her wrist and held onto it gently.

"Alex, are you seriously okay?" She laced her fingers through Alex's, but Alex quickly undid them.

"Sorry. I just…I need to get my dad's words out of my head before I touch you…I'm sorry."

Mitchie stared at her, unsure of what that even meant.

Alex backed away and headed to the nearest exit, not caring if it wasn't close to her car.

Mitchie wondered what that was about, but couldn't chase after her. She sighed and wandered down the hall, pulling her cell phone out of her pants pocket. She tried calling, but Alex didn't answer. She put it away and went back to checking movies. She didn't know him, but she was certain she already hated Alex's dad.

Alex leaned against her car, looking back up at the theater. She glanced at the time, realizing it was only three in the four in the afternoon, she decided it'd be a long and lonely period of time at her house. She silenced her phone and walked back up to the front doors of the movie theater. She saw Mitchie talking to the guy working in the concession stand, so she walked in, greeted the box office worker and said she needed to talk Mitchie again. The girl let her walk through and Alex walked over to Mitchie.

"Hey, sorry about that. I changed my mind." She twisted her fingers in front of her, following Mitchie out of view of the employees.

Mitchie led them along the hall of auditoriums. "It's okay."

"So, which movie is the longest?"

"_The Hobbit_. It'll last until about seven. It's all right. I've seen most of it at this point. But it's just the first part. They're doing it in three movies." She rolled her eyes. "But it's good. The previews are probably just ending on it now."

"Okay." Alex started glancing up at the signs above them, looking for it.

"I'll come get you when my shift ends." She glanced at her paper with the end times on it. "Actually, your movie will let out before my shift is over. Kyla asked me stay late, because she's going to be out of town with her family. She's paying me cash, so that's why I'll be here so late."

Alex nodded as Mitchie stopped them outside of the theater with _The Hobbit_'s sign above it.

"Oh." Alex thought about hugging Mitchie, but thought better of it. "Well, I guess I'll see you after."

Mitchie smiled and held the door open for her. "See you soon."

#

Alex sat in the front row of the dark auditorium, watching the actors on screen, while her mind wandered. She considered asking Mitchie to be her girlfriend tonight, just to piss off her dad, just out of spite, but knew it would be stupid. She didn't want their relationship to be based on a rash decision, especially not one concerning her father.

She sighed, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin there. She saw movement to her right and glanced over to see Mitchie settling in next to her.

Alex kept her voice low as she leaned toward the other girl. "What are you doing in here?"

"Kyla showed up earlier than expected, she said she wanted the extra hours so she left her uncle's house earlier. So, my shift's over." Mitchie glanced at the screen. "It's about five-thirty now. We can stay or leave, whichever you want."

Alex watched the movie for a minute and realized she didn't care to stay; she just wanted Mitchie. She leaned over to tell Mitchie that they could leave, but at that exact moment, Mitchie had done the same. Their faces smacked into one another and they laughed quietly, each slightly dazed.

"Sorry, you okay?" Michie's voice was still relatively low.

Alex nodded, rubbing her nose. "Yeah. You?"

"Yeah, what were you going to say?"

They were still very close to each other, so Alex felt the warmth of Mitchie's words against her lips. She glanced at the other girl's lips and tried to recall what had made her lean in. She couldn't, so she leaned in, closing the space between them.

Mitchie was shocked, but quickly returned the kiss once she realized Alex had intended for her lips to land on hers.

Alex pulled away slowly. "Do you want to go?"

Mitchie, lost in her thoughts, simply got up and headed for the exit.

Once they were out in the parking lot, Alex took her hand, but neither had spoken since leaving the theater. Alex wrestled with elation and panic. She had kissed Mitchie. On purpose.

Ever since that accidental kiss Mitchie had given her, she thought about those lips and what it'd be like to kiss back. She wasn't sure the timing had been right, but it had felt better than she'd ever imagined; she knew it felt right.

"So, I'll see you at your house or mine?" Alex hoped her voice hadn't actually cracked.

Mitchie laughed. Her breath appeared between them in a small cloud. "Do you want to go to the river?"

Alex blew a stream of air through her nostrils and it floated upward. "It's cold out, Mitch. I didn't bring a real coat. I just have this hoodie and a pull-over in the car." She looked up at the heavy, white clouds. "Plus it looks like it could snow again."

"I'll keep you warm." Mitchie stopped by her car. "I'll drive and it'll only be for a little bit."

Alex saw Mitchie's lower lip jutting out and lowered her eyes. "Fine. Let me go grab my sweatshirt."

Mitchie let go of her hand. "Yay, thank you, Alex! I'll warm the car while you do that."

Mitchie got into the driver's seat and started the car, watching Alex's silhouette trudge toward her own vehicle. Her lips were still tingling from the kiss, btu she wasn't sure if she could mention it or not. She wasn't even sure if it was some sort of one-time thing. Alex opened the passenger door, and Mitchie pulled out of the parking lot without a word.

Once they were parked across from the walkway in front of the river, Alex added her sweatshirt under her zip up hoodie before getting out of the car. As they walked along the sidewalk, they held hands in Mitchie's coat pocket.

Alex hadn't worked up the nerve to mention the kiss, and neither had Mitchie, so they'd continued their chitchat from the car ride.

"So, why'd you want to come here?"

"I just like it here, and it seemed like a pretty night to come by." Mitchie shrugged.

Alex nodded, squinting as a spotlight from a barge caught her eye.

"So, you still up for coming with me tomorrow? My parents are excited to meet you."

Alex cleared her throat. "About that. You can, um." She coughed; her body shook from the inside out. "You can stay we're girlfriends if it's less complicated. For the sake of explaining, I mean. But please, don't think this is me asking you to be my girlfriend, because I'd be way more romantic about it."

Mitchie smirked, but stayed quiet for a moment. "Okay. So, you're saying, we are not official, but we can tell people we are to avoid explaining our actual situation?"

"Not people, just your family." Alex grimaced. She wanted to rewind time and stop herself from saying any of this.

Mitchie tried not to get too excited or hopeful, despite the contentment the kiss had given way to. "Are you okay with this plan?"

Alex thought of winter break creeping up on her and of her somewhat ruined Thanksgiving. "Yeah. I think that would be okay."

Mitchie tried not to let the giddiness leak into her body language. She squeezed Alex's hand and steered them toward the car. "Would you want to stay at my place?" Mitchie started the car once she heard Alex's seatbelt click.

"Yeah, sure. My car is still at the theater." Alex looked at her window, but focused on Mitchie's reflection instead of the small riverfront shops and boutiques. "We can get it tomorrow, though."

"Eh, we can do it tonight. I wouldn't want it to get snowed in there or something stupid."

Alex laughed, glancing at Mitchie. Oncoming headlights lit up the car briefly. "We're not expecting a blizzard, Mitch."

"You don't know! We could get some stupid unexpected ice storm and be in a state of emergency by Saturday."

Rolling her eyes, Alex giggled and stayed quiet while Mitchie headed to the theater.

#

Alex wrapped her arms around Mitchie's waist and breathed in deep. "I love how you smell."

Mitchie ran her fingers up and down Alex's hand. "Thanks. You smell pretty good, too."

Alex laughed. "No, you smell, like, I don't know. Soothing."

"Well, that's good, I guess." She laughed lightly and twisted around to face Alex. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What was with today?" Mitchie glanced at the clock. It was only nine at night, yet they were snuggled deep into her bed. "What happened with your dad? Like, what did he say?"

Alex shut her eyes. "He just said I was being a bad influence on Max and I know I'm not. And I feel bad that I ruined Thanksgiving for my mom. And every time I see my dad, I just…I feel dirty. Like, I hate myself for liking girls every time I talk to him." Alex let out a shaky breath. "I just feel like, sometimes, maybe he's right. Maybe I just…am sick."

"Sick?" Mitchie worked her arms up and around Alex.

"Like, maybe being gay is just a sickness." She sighed and turned her head toward the pillow, trying to wipe her eyes with it.

"Alex, that's not the case at all." Mitchie kissed her face all over. "He's just a hateful jerk. I swear you're not any sicker than any straight person. Everyone's crazy, but being gay isn't a disease." She pulled Alex even closer to her body. "You're, like, perfect…I just…you don't need to listen to his crap." Mitchie sighed. "I wish I could have gone with you. I would have shut him up."

Alex laughed. "It's not like he's a huge scary dude or anything, but like, you don't know him. Like he's so intimidating when he gets all serious and quiet. Like you just don't have a clue what he's going to do or what he can do."

"I wish I could protect you."

"I wish he wasn't such a bad dad."

#

Sunlight peeked in through the curtains Mitchie forgot to shut, but they both lay awake, enjoying each other's company before getting ready for the day. Mitchie played with Alex's fingers and Alex pictured Mitchie meeting her family and couldn't imagine what that would be like. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Hey, what if your family doesn't like me?"

Alex's voice was so quiet Mitchie almost didn't catch the question.

Mitchie brushed her nose along the back of Alex's head. "Don't even worry. They're thrilled to meet you. I think they're already huge fans since you're the first person I've invited over to their house since, like, senior year of high school."

"Really?" For some reason that surprised Alex; mainly, because she assumed Shanelle would have invited herself to some family event in the short amount of time those two had dated.

"Yeah." Mitchie glanced at her cell phone. "It's eight. We should probably start getting ready."

Alex groaned. "No. I don't wanna go home and take a shower. Or get a change of clothes. Or anything having to do with outside."

"Then shower here." Mitchie rolled away from her and raked her fingers through her hair. "And you know, you've got clothes here…and I have clothes you can borrow."

Alex bit her lip and wondered if that would be too much, too fast. Slowly, she agreed to it and Mitchie led her to the bathroom. After Mitchie explained how to work the shower and its temperature settings, Alex showered while Mitchie found clothes for her to wear.

She wondered if her parents would notice, then realized she wasn't sure what her parents had and hadn't seen her wearing. She sighed and decided it didn't matter. Her mind drifted to last night and Alex's suggestion they say they're dating, to avoid confusion. Her cheeks hurt from smiling, but she couldn't stop. She bit the side of her lip, trying to wipe the smile away once she heard the bathroom door open.

After Alex finished getting ready, she flopped down on Mitchie's bed and scrolled through her News Feed on Facebook, looking at everyone's idiotic posts about Black Friday, while she waited for Mitchie to shower and get ready. Her stomach hurt from all of the stupid items people had spent the night waiting to get. She sighed and exited out of the app on her phone. She tossed it down on the bed next to her and noticed Mitchie's phone sitting next to her own.

Her heart sped up. She could finally get those photos she'd taken months ago, the one she'd staged, the one they'd sent to Shanelle. She grinned and unlocked Mitchie's phone. She quickly scanned through the photos on Mitchie's phone, almost instantly finding the photo of the two of them. She was mainly thankful that Mitchie kept photos on her phone forever. She sent it to herself and promptly deleted the message from Mitchie's phone, so she wouldn't know Alex had sent it to herself.

Her phone vibrated as she heard footsteps heading her way. She dropped Mitchie's phone and picked her own back up, seeing the photo waiting for her. She smiled and looked up from her screen to see Mitchie dressed and ready to go.

Alex grabbed Mitchie's phone and handed it to her, shoving her own in her front pocket. "Let's go."

Once they got to Mitchie's parents house, Alex rolled back and forth on the balls of her feet, fighting the urge to hold Mitchie's hand. She shoved her fists into her pockets and focused on keeping her breathing even.

"Relax." Mitchie fiddled with her key to the front door. "You'll be fine. They already love you. Just be yourself."

Alex laughed. "I'll try, but I can't make any promises." Mitchie hadn't offered up any details about her parents. "What do they like?"

"I don't know. My mom likes to sew a lot and my dad, um, he likes fishing and camping, and he does weird projects sometimes. Once he made a miniature town out of Legos; that was a weird month to live here."

Mitchie got the door open and led the way inside. Alex swallowed, trying to figure out what she could say to either of her parents, even with those pointers, nothing sounded plausible.

"Mitchie, is that you?"

"Yeah, Dad."

An older man hurried into view and engulfed Mitchie in a giant bear hug. "Where's my girl been?"

Mitchie's muffled laugh came through his shoulder. "Swamped with school work, mainly. And work."

He let her go and turned her around in a circle. "You're still eating well, but you look a little flabby. You still running?"

Alex glanced down at her shoes, but Mitchie just laughed. "When I can, but school's getting in the way."

"No, you're not making time for it." He winked and let go of her. "Now, who is this?"

A smile instantly appeared on Alex's face.

"This is Alex." Mitchie paused for a moment, locking eyes with the other girl. "My girlfriend." She held Alex's eyes as she said those words, almost anticipating a freak out, an objection. "Alex, this is my dad."

Alex smiled wider and held her hand out for a handshake. "Nice to meet you Mr. Torres."

He shook her hand. "Nice to meet you, too. Mitchie is always posting about you her web page. I should know, her mom shows me all the time." He chuckled and his stomach jiggled slightly.

Alex glanced at Mitchie. "Yeah, I post about her a lot, too."

Mitchie's mom appeared, an apron draped over her arm. "Nice to meet you, Alex. I'm Connie." She pulled Alex into a tight, one arm hug. "Don't wanna get anything on your cute top. I'm the one who has been liking all those posts on your page lately."

Alex smiled upon release from the hug. "Yeah. I thought so, unless there was an imposter running around pretending to be Mitchie's mom."

Connie laughed and led them into the dining room. "Make yourself at home, Alex. Mitchie, get her a drink if she wants one."

All of the food was set out in the middle of the large dining table, and Alex's nose was assaulted with the blending of warm turkey with mashed potatoes, steaming vegetables, and pies. Her stomach rumbled.

Mitchie brought Alex a glass of water, sipping from one herself.

"So, you drink, Alex?" Mitchie's dad pulled out a bottle; the amber liquid caught in the light.

Alex shook her head, smiling. "No, thank you. I don't drink." She sat down at the seat Mitchie pulled out for her. "Thanks, Mitch."

"No prob." Mitchie sat next to her, leaving two empty spots across from them for her parents.

Mitchie's dad poured a small glass for himself. "Good." He screwed the cap back on and returned the bottle to its spot on the shelf. "Mitchie, you don't either, do you?" He took a spit from it and Alex's stomach tightened. Sometimes, it was painful to see someone drink alcohol; she could feel the instant burn in her mouth, the searing glide down her throat.

Mitchie's eye-roll didn't go unseen by Alex, who tried to hide a smile.

"No, Dad. Not anymore."

"Aw, that's sweet." Connie walked in and sat across from Mitchie. "So, how did you two meet again?"

"School," Mitchie said, taking a long drink from her glass of water. "She recently moved in next door to me, though."

"When did you two get together?" Alex knew Mitchie's dad was talking to her, so she shifted her eyes from Connie to him. She watched him situate himself in the seat across from her.

"Um, actually, really recently. I, um, I like to date a person for a while before I ask someone to be my girlfriend. So, we've been dating since September or early October and just this week, we made it official."

Mitchie felt herself relax when she heard Alex's answer. It sounded legitimate; Mitchie was shocked she hadn't thought to have any such answers ready herself. She focused on eating her plate full of food.

He eyed Alex for a minute. "That's good. I like that." He took a swig from his drink and wiped his mouth. "Mitchie, I like her!"

Mitchie lifted her eyes and gave a smile, her full cheeks tight.

Alex tried to take the three of them in, almost in disbelief that such a friendly exchange could happen between parent and child. She looked down at her plate, already loving Mitchie's parents.


	7. Somewhere Between Liars and Lovers

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7. Somewhere Between Liars and Lovers

Mitchie sat across from Alex in the coffee shop on campus, sipping her hot chocolate and watching the snow drifting through the sky outside. "How many finals do you have left?"

Alex tightened her jacket around her. The giant glass windows surrounding them and sliding doors to their left made it a little chilly, despite being inside. "I've got three left. What about you?"

"Just two."

Alex nodded and glanced around the coffee shop.

"What are you doing?"

Alex focused on Mitchie and smiled. "Sorry. I'm just…I feel like there should be heat in here."

"Why are you so cold?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm getting sick. I always get sick during finals."

Mitchie's brow furrowed and she got up. "Let's go somewhere warmer then."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Are you done for the day with finals? We can just go home."

Alex thought of their beds, cuddling, the warmth, but then she sighed, those images were replaced with an avalanche of information for her history final. "I've got one more today. Then we can go."

"All right, then let's go up to the fourth floor of the library. There's gotta be a secluded spot where we can warm you up."

Alex's eyes widened. "What?"

"It's warmer up there and we can share one of those big chairs. It'll be all cozy."

"I'll have to study, too."

"That's fine. I'll be really quiet and just focus on keeping you warm." They stepped into the elevator and Mitchie pressed the button for the fourth floor. "Hopefully nobody's just hanging out in that area. They should all be studying, anyway."

Alex laughed, shaking her head. "You're ridiculous."

Mitchie shrugged. "It happens."

A ping filled the small space and the doors slid open, revealing the top floor of the library. Once they were settled in an empty chair, Alex pulled out her notebook and history book.

Mitchie was sitting behind Alex, with her legs on either side of the other girl. She rested her head on Alex's back while she leaned forward, reading through her notes.

"Hey, will you quiz me when I'm done reading over this stuff, please?"

"Of course." Mitchie's arms were wound around Alex's waist and she gave her a slight squeeze. "Just tell me win."

"Thanks."

"Hey, when are you last two finals?"

"Monday and Tuesday of next week."

"That's stupid." Alex flipped the notebook page.

Mitchie watched the tops of trees bend in the rough breeze outside. "Yeah. More time to study, though."

"Are they going to be hard?"

"No. Now study."

Alex sighed and tried to focus, but all her mind wanted to consider was winter break and the details she'd been holding off on.

#

While Alex was taking her final on the second floor of the Liberal Arts building, Mitchie sat in the basement, reading over her final project requirements. Her cell phone vibrated against her leg and she glanced at it, expecting it to be Alex, but it wasn't.

_Taylor: Hey, are you still coming to the party? Rikki and Brandon are coming._

Mitchie had almost forgotten about this. She chewed on her lower lip, slowly running her tongue over her teeth every now and then. She put away the paper with the requirements on it and zipped up her bag before replying.

_ Mitchie: When and where is this again? _

_ Taylor: Next Saturday, and Anita's going to get back to me with the address, then I'll text that to you, too. _

_ Mitchie: Anita's going?_

_ Taylor: Yeah. Are you cool with her?_

_ Mitchie: Haha, yeah! I just haven't heard from her in a long time. _

Mitchie couldn't actually remember why she'd fell out of touch with Anita, but she figured it had something to do with Caitlyn coming into the picture. She shrugged and sent a second message. _Yeah, I'm seriously not sure what happened. I think we just stopped talking as much and she stopped coming home._

Mitchie had always been a little jealous that Taylor and Anita had gone to the same school while she'd stayed here. She shut her eyes and tried to ignore the headache she felt coming on. _Are you and Anita riding down together? _

_Taylor: Yeah, we'll be home the Friday before the party. Do you and your new boo wanna get dinner or something?_

_ Mitchie: Oh, cool. And, um, she's not technically my girlfriend, so please don't say that. But I'll ask her if she wants to get dinner with you guys._

_ Taylor: OoOo, is there something I should know about with that?_

_ Mitchie: No. It's not really something I feel like talking about right now._

_ Taylor: Rikki will be pleased to hear she's not "__technically" your girl._

_ Mitchie: What does that even mean?_

_ Taylor: Rikki was asking about you is all that means._

_ Mitchie: We're thinking of the same Rikki, right? _

Rikki had been the first girl Mitchie had asked out in high school, and she was also the first girl to turn Mitchie down. Mitchie hadn't taken it too hard, since Rikki was just one of their friends and they'd agreed not to let it come between them. Mitchie couldn't remember why Rikki had said no, but then again, it didn't matter.

_Taylor: She's been talking about you a lot actually. I don't really know why. _

_ Mitchie: Well, I'm not interested. Even though, Alex isn't my girlfriend, doesn't mean I'm looking for someone else. Alex and I have an agreement. _

_ Taylor: Oh, is this some exclusive friends with benefits bullshit? _

Mitchie rolled her eyes and glanced around, happy she was alone. _Stop being so nosy, Taylor. These are the things that matter: 1. When you meet Alex, don't bring up the whole girlfriend thing. 2. I do not want anything to do with Rikki beyond platonic friendship. 3. I'll see you Friday or Saturday. _

Her phone vibrated and she saw Alex's name displayed and relief rushed through her. She raced up the stairs to the first floor and found Alex coming down from the first floor.

Mitchie dropped her bag and pulled Alex into a tight hug as soon as she stepped off the stairs.

Alexreturned the hug, laughing lightly. "Hey to you, too."

"Do you still want to go to that party with me?"

Alex nodded, letting go of Mitchie. "Yeah. Why?" The way Mitchie was acting, Alex was nervous she was being uninvited.

"Okay, good." Mitchie grabbed her bag and situated it on her back. "Taylor and Anita want to have dinner with us on Friday night, not this one, but next, the night before the party."

"Oh, okay." Alex bit her lip, rearranging her plans mentally. "Do you want to do that?"

Mitchie shrugged. "Yes and no. I think it'll be nice to see them, but I think there are reasons why I don't see them anymore."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Alex zipped up her coat and flipped her hood up.

Mitchie pushed open the front door and they stepped out into the windy afternoon of snow flurries.

"It's up to you." Alex slid her hand into Mitchie's.

"Well, I want you to be comfortable, too." Mitchie stuck their joined hands into her pocket, playing with Alex's fingertips.

"I'll be fine."

They walked on in silence, the wind whistled and Alex thought about her options. She had several: before finals were over, right now, at the party or before the party or after, on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day…she just had to figure out what felt right.

Unlocking her car, her plan gelled. She would do it the morning after the party. Alex would make Mitchie breakfast and serve it to her in bed, she would spell it out on pancakes or write a note and serve it with the food. That detail could be something she worked on after her finals were over, but either way, she would ask Mitchie to be her girlfriend.

#

Mitchie's eyes roamed over Alex's sleeping form, lingering on her lips. They still hadn't talked about their kiss in the movie theater, and it hadn't happened since. Mitchie hadn't pressed the girlfriend thing since Thanksgiving with her parents, but she wondered what was going through Alex's mind.

If they weren't spending almost ninety percent of their time together, Mitchie would feel strung along. She ran her index finger of her lips and wished she could kiss Alex right now. She closed her eyes and rolled over, looking at Alex's alarm clock. The digital numbers burned in the darkness: it was four in the morning and she'd slept maybe an hour and a half. She sighed and got up.

She grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand and took it off the charger. She scrolled through her messages with Alex. They ranged from lengthy, intelligent conversations to short and simple "I miss yous."

She stretched out on the floor at the foot of the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Taylor hadn't stopped badgering her about the technicality of her relationship with Alex and her mind drifted to Rikki. Maybe Taylor was right.

What if after this whole getting to know each other period ends and Alex changes her mind? What if next semester Alex meets someone else and dumps Mitchie before they're even official? She shut her eyes; she didn't want to think about that.

The alarm went off and Alex rolled over to stop it. Rolling back on to her side of the bed, she realized the bed was empty. "Mitchie?" She sat up and looked around; her heart pounding. "Mitch?"

She hopped off the end of the bed and tripped onto Mitchie's body. Realizing it was the girl she was looking for, Alex wrapped her arms around Mitchie's waist. "What are you doing down here?"

Mitchie, still recovering from being woken in such a strange way, stayed quiet. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and blinked a few times. "I needed space to think."

Alex frowned. "What does that mean?"

Mitchie stared at the ceiling. "I don't know. I couldn't sleep."

"Oh." Alex was afraid to pry. She tried to ignore the weird vibe Mitchie was exuding. "Are you ready for that final?"

"Yeah. It's just a presentation." Mitchie yawned. "Do you have any finals today?"

"No, but I've got my last one tomorrow."

"Lucky." Mitchie ruffled Alex's hair. Crawling out of Alex's arms, Mitchie stood and stretched. "Do you work today?"

"Only at the art magazine." Alex felt her heart sinking. Something felt off, but she couldn't figure it out.

"That's good." Mitchie put her hair up into a ponytail. "So, I'll see you after?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah. Definitely."

Mitchie smiled, but it didn't meet her eyes.

Swallowing, Alex took a breath. "Hey, did I do something? Are we…are we okay?"

Mitchie gave the same smile that made Alex uneasy. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"But did I do something?"

Mitchie shook her head slowly. "No, Lex. You didn't."

Alex didn't feel settled by any of this, so she dropped it. "Okay." She walked out of the room, heading to the bathroom, while Mitchie's mood ate away at her brain.

While Mitchie drove to school, she thought about Rikki and Alex, and found herself frustrated. She felt a little friend-zoned with Alex, and it was killing her. She thought back to her conversation with her right before she left.

_"Did I do something?"_

_ "No, Lex. You didn't."_

That was the issue, wasn't it? She hadn't done anything. She hadn't talked about the kiss or what it meant, or if it meant anything. Mitchie sighed. Could she even hold those things against Alex? She knew Alex like the back of her hand; yet, she didn't feel like she could ever tell what was going in Alex's brain. Her thoughts turned to Rikki, and she wondered if she was still as attractive as she had been in high school. She wanted her to be drop dead gorgeous. She wanted Alex to be jealous of this girl. She wanted…she sighed. She didn't want to hurt Alex. She hadn't done anything to deserve that.

#

While parking her car, Alex noticed Mitchie was back from campus. She was thankful the day was over for both of them. She was hoping that things were better between them than they had felt earlier. Alex had refrained from messaging Mitchie all day, but she missed her a lot.

Once she was inside, she wondered if she should call Mitchie. Before she could figure out what she wanted to do, her phone rang. "Mitch, hey!"

Mitchie laughed. "Hey."

Alex hated that her tone was still a little reserved, but ignored it. "What's up? How'd your presentation go?"

"It was all right, and I'm making cookies."

Alex got a glass of water. "Cool. Did you already eat dinner?"

"Yeah. I wasn't sure how late you'd be working, so I decided to eat a little while ago. Sorry."

"No, it's okay." Alex felt a crack forming between them. "Are you…"

"What?"

"Nothing, never mind."

"No, Alex. What is it? You sounded like you were going to cry."

"No, I didn't. I'm fine. It was nothing." Alex chugged her water and set the empty cup down.

"Okay."

Alex sighed; Mitchie sounded annoyed.

"Hey, Alex, was it busy at work today?"

"Not really. I just had to do some paperwork and organize some files. Why?"

"Oh, I just missed you today is all."

Alex perked up. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I thought about it some more and I felt like we left things weird this morning, and then I didn't hear from you all day…I don't know."

Alex swished a sip of water around in her mouth. She swallowed. "After I eat would you want to watch 'Friends' or something?"

"Sure, Alex. I'll save you some cookies. Just come over when you're ready. I'll leave the door unlocked."

Alex's whole body relaxed. "Okay. See you in a little bit."

"See you, Alex."

Alex hung up and poured a bowl of cereal, certain she'd be unable to stomach anything else.

Hurrying through eating, Alex wondered if she'd imagined Mitchie's weird mood that morning. Upon stepping inside Mitchie's house, Alex found herself engulfed in a giant hug.

"I just want you to know, I like you a lot and I respect you and care about you a lot."

Alex hugged the other girl back just as tightly; her feelings of unease ebbed away.

Mitchie wasn't sure she wanted to tell Alex about Rikki, or anything having to do with her thoughts from that morning. So, when she spoke, she hoped her words encompassed all of those things. "I'm sorry about this morning."

Alex squeezed Mitchie, then slowly let go. "It's okay." Her eyes flickered from Mitchie's eyes to her lips, and the moment didn't go unnoticed by the other girl. "So, 'Friends'?"

Mitchie sighed, licking her lips. "Yeah."

Alex weaved her fingers through Mitchie's and they walked down the hall.

"Oh. Do you want those cookies now or later?"

"Are they warm right now?"

Mitchie paused in the kitchen. "Yeah. They should be. I pulled them out of the oven just a few minutes before you got here."

She let go of Alex's hand and grabbed a paper plate for her. "How many would you like, dearest?" She faced Alex, batting her eyelashes with too much enthusiasm.

Alex laughed. "Can I have three?"

Once they were in Mitchie's room, Alex didn't miss Mitchie's extra affection. Since being there, Mitchie had only stopped touching Alex long enough to get those cookies for her.

Alex ran her fingers through Mitchie's hair. "Your hair's really soft today."

Mitchie laughed and looked up at Alex.

She looked down at Mitchie's head resting in her lap; she felt dizzy. "Mitch, I…" She swallowed. "I need to go home. I just remembered I need my phone charger."

Mitchie's smile quickly disappeared. "What?"

Alex was already getting up out of the bed. "I have to go."

Mitchie followed her down the hall, watching Alex shake her head and run her fingers through her hair. "Alex, what's wrong? I don't believe for a minute that you're freaking out over a phone charger. We've both let our phones die." She touched Alex's shoulder, but she shrugged, forcing Mitchie's hand to fall.

"I'm not feeling well, okay? I just need to go home." Alex slipped her shoes on one-handedly, while trying to open the front door.

"I'll get your coat."

"No, it's fine. I can just get it later." Alex's left shoe wasn't cooperating, so she just let her foot smash down the heel.

Mitchie stood in the doorway, watching Alex hobble across their joint lawn area. "Alex!"

Alex paused, but didn't turn around. "What?"

"Did I do something?"

"No, Mitch. You didn't. I just don't feel too great." The wind picked up; Alex wished for her coat.

"Call if you need something."

"See you later, Mitch." She started walking again, regretting not grabbing her coat or putting her shoe on all the way.

Mitchie thought about running after her, but figured she shouldn't. Instead, she shut the front door and walked back to her bedroom.

Her phone was vibrating on the bedside table. She groaned when she saw it was Taylor.

She pulled up his thread and saw that he'd written her multiple, very long messages.

_Taylor: So, I talked to Rikki. She's very interested in catching up. Apparently, she regrets not giving you a chance back in high school. I haven't told her about dinner yet, but I was thinking about it. What do you think? You and not-girlfriend are coming still, right? I think you should at least give Rikki a chance. I don't know what your "agreement" with Alex is, but if she's not willing to make a move, I know you're a very great person who deserves to get some action, but also deserves a relationship if that's what you want._

Mitchie wasn't even sure if that all made sense, especially since he was just assuming things about what was going on between she and Alex. She shook her head, reading through it a few times. Then moved on to the second and third ones.

_ Taylor: Rikki wants to talk to you. You should add her on Facebook. She says she sent you a friend request. If you don't talk to her there, I'll give her your phone number. But I know you've always been weird about others giving out your number, so that's the only reason I haven't done that yet. Girl, get in the game!_

_ Taylor: Anita and I are seriously just thinking about doing dinner the night of the party. What do you think? That might work better for Rikki. And if you don't want to hook up with her, at least tell Alex, someone's interested in you, and maybe it'll speed things up with her…_

Mitchie didn't even know where to begin, and while she was trying to gather her thoughts, her phone vibrated again. She cringed, assuming another message from Taylor would pop up, but instead it was from Alex.

_Alex: Mitchie, I am so sorry for leaving. I don't want to talk about what happened, but just know it was good…I just reacted badly and I don't know, it was just unexpected. _

Mitchie frowned. Her message made less sense than Taylor's previous jumble. She quickly replied. _What? What does that mean? Do you want to come back? Can I come over?_

She stared at her phone, waiting for an answer. Instead, she heard a knock at her front door. She dropped her phone on her bed and hurried to the door.

She threw the door open and pulled the person on the other side into a hug. "Alex, I'm so glad—" She realized the body was too hard and tall to be Alex. She pulled away and stared at Taylor. "How did you find my address?"

"Your mom gave it to me."

"Oh, wow. Well, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you."

"Is Anita with you?"

Taylor frowned. "What? Am I not enough?"

Mitchie shoved him. "No. That's not it. I just assumed. You said you two were riding down together."

"Yeah, she's at her mom's."

"Oh, cool."

"So, where is Alex?" Taylor walked down the hall, inspecting the place. He made his way into the living room and dropped on to the couch.

"At her house." Mitchie walked back into her bedroom and grabbed her phone. She had two new messages from Alex. "I'll be right back. I've got to use the bathroom."

Taylor pulled his phone out. "All right. I'll be here."

Mitchie shut the door to the bathroom and leaned against the sink. She pulled up Alex's messages.

_Alex: Can I come back over? I'm sorry I left. I just needed to breathe and I didn't know what else to do. _

_ Alex: I'm really sorry. It wasn't anything bad, and you didn't do anything. Like, I just freaked out. I'm sorry, Mitch._

Mitchie sighed and wished she knew what was going through Alex's head, but resigned herself to the fact that she might never understand that girl.

_Mitchie: Alex, hey, it's okay. I still really want you here, but Taylor just showed up and I don't know what he's doing here. He knocked right after I sent you the message asking if you wanted to come back and I assumed it was you at the door. I just …my mom gave him my address. You're welcome to join us. I really want you here. I think we might need to talk about something. If I can get a moment alone with you before he says anything stupid._

Alex read through the message twice, still not understanding the last part. She bit her lip and grabbed a hoodie. She replied with 'on my way,' and then left her house.

Mitchie flushed the toilet and headed back to the living room. She sat next to Taylor who pushed his phone back into his front pocket.

"So, what's up?" Mitchie gently moved her phone between her hands.

"Nothing. I just wanted to come and say hey. I missed you a lot and with all our recent text messages, I'm realizing I don't even know what you're doing!"

Mitchie tilted her head to the side, slowly letting her eyes roam his. "What?"

"Like, who is Alex? She's just this cute girl in all of your recent pictures on Facebook. You two post on each other's shit all the time, and act like you're dating, and, yet, you're not...together?"

Mitchie sighed. "It's a long story, but it makes sense to us, okay?"

"And? I've got all night." Taylor folded his arms across his chest.

The doorbell interrupted them. Mitchie got up and walked to the door.

"That's probably Alex now."

Taylor followed behind her, almost stepping on her heels. "Oh? So, I'll get to ask her myself."

"Don't you dare, Taylor." Mitchie held the doorknob behind her as she eyed him. "Don't. It's not your shit, so leave it alone."

Taylor smirked. "I'll do my best."

Mitchie turned and opened the door. She pulled Alex into a hug and whispered against her ear. "Please, meet me in the bedroom in a minute."

Alex's face would have flushed at the request, if she weren't so nervous that it was that talk Mitchie thought they 'might need to have'. She pulled away from the hug.

"Alex, Taylor. Taylor, Alex." Mitchie led them to the living room. "Oh. Alex, I found your charger. I'll go get it."

"Okay." Alex tried to stop looking between Mitchie and Taylor, but couldn't ignore the conversation they were having without saying a word. She shifted uncomfortably.

Mitchie walked down the hall to her room and paced at the foot of her bed.

Alex's leg bounced involuntarily while she waited for a few minutes to pass before she followed.

"So," Taylor said, clearing his throat. "You're the infamous Alex."

Alex tried to smile, but she was certain her mouth wasn't moving right. "Yeah. I guess so."

"You know, Mitchie has had a lot of rotten luck with girls."

Alex examined the glow from Taylor's phone screen, catching in his eyes. Her eyes followed the motion of his thumb flicking the information on the screen upward. "Yeah, I know."

"I hope her luck's turned around." Taylor lifted his eyes and locked her into a staring contest.

"I hope so, too." Alex's leg stopped moving and she stood. "I'm going to go see what's taking her so long."

"Okay." Taylor looked back at his phone. "Don't be long or I'll assume you're doing something else." He giggled, but Alex heard the hollow note in his tone.

Once Alex made it to her room, she shut the door quietly. "Soo…What's with your friend Taylor out there?"

Mitchie sighed. "He kind of sucks."

"Why do you want to go to this party with him then?"

"Because I do miss him. And I miss my friend Anita, who is, like, his best friend. But, um, we actually need to talk about that party."

"Do you not want me to come anymore? Because I understand if—"

"No, no, it's not that. Not at all. I was wondering if you might want to skip it with me…I think it's just going to be a mess."

Alex frowned. "Are you sure? I don't mind…I mean, I can put up with a group of assholes for a while, as long as you don't leave me alone with them."

Mitchie ducked her head a little. "Sorry."

"It's okay. He was saying some weird shit, but I figured he's just trying to do that whole 'protective friend' thing."

"No. Well, yeah." Mitchie thought about mentioning Rikki, but couldn't bring herself to say anything. "I'm sorry about him. Just…ignore whatever he says, okay?"

Alex looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out why she seemed nervous. "What would he say that…"

"I don't know…just don't fall for his crap, please." Mitchie opened the door and they walked back out to the living room.

Mitchie sat across between Taylor and Alex. She cleared her throat and Taylor put his phone down. "Yay, so it's nice to meet you, Alex. Mitchie hasn't said much about you."

Alex raised her eyes from her lap. "Yeah? Well, she hasn't really mentioned you either. It's nice to meet you, though."

Mitchie coughed. "Taylor, you still haven't said what you're doing here."

He fished his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a flattened bag containing a small joint. "You still sober, Mitch?"

"Yeah."

"Lame. What about you, Alex?" He pulled a lighter out of his other back pocket.

"No, thanks."

He lit the joint and sucked in. "You two are no fun. You better at least have one drink with us at the party, Mitch."

Mitchie gave a tight smile. "Yeah, maybe."

Alex tapped her foot against the floor. "Soo, Taylor, Mitchie said we'd be having dinner with you on Friday night. Where are we going?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'll have to ask Anita and Rikki what they want to do."

A sharp tingling crawled through Mitchie's body and her heart slowed, and then sped up.

Alex couldn't remember Mitchie mentioning someone named Rikki, but figured she'd ask Mitchie about him later. "Oh, that's cool. Well, wherever they want to go, I can't wait to meet them."

Taylor exhaled a stream of smoke. "Yeah. I can't wait for you to meet them, either."

Alex's eyes followed the sweet smell with her eyes. The thin, gray curls made her miss the taste more than the smell did. Mitchie's fingers wrapped around hers, and she focused on Mitchie instead of the smoke. "Hey."

The pained expression in Mitchie's eyes melted when her eyes connected with Alex's. "Hey."

"So, before Alex left to check on you, I was telling her all about how your luck with the ladies is terrible." Taylor flicked the ash onto the bag sitting on his lap. "Do you have an ashtray?"

Mitchie started to answer, but Taylor cut her off. "Actually, never mind. Sorry. I know you probably don't."

Alex watched Mitchie's features harden, instead of focusing on Taylor as he spoke.

"So, Alex, you said you knew she had bad luck with women."

Alex yawned and stood up. "Hey, Taylor. So, I'm really sorry to do this to you, but Mitchie and I have plans tonight and, well, it was kind of a date. And you're crashing it. But I'll see you on Friday, okay?"

Taylor stared at Alex, glancing at Mitchie for a reaction. "Mitch, really? Why didn't you say something?" He put the joint out with his fingers and stuffed it back into his worn Ziplock bag. "Oh my god, you're always being too polite, Mitch. Damn it. Now I feel like a dick."

Mitchie smiled, but Alex saw her eyes were still zoned out.

"Sorry, I thought she'd mentioned it or something." Alex led the way to the front door and Mitchie trailed behind Taylor, still silent. "I wouldn't do this if it wasn't time sensitive, but we do have a reservation to catch."

Taylor hugged Mitchie, who was finally nodding and agreeing with Alex.

"Sorry, Taylor. I didn't realize how much time was passing."

"See you two on Friday." Taylor paused on the front step. "Alex, I'm really glad you're her girlfriend. Be good to her."

Alex smiled. "Yeah. I'm trying." She waved and shut the door. "You told him we're dating?"

"No. I don't know why he said that." Mitchie blinked and looked Alex up and down. "What got into you? Why'd you kick him out?"

"You'd completely shut down. Do you realize you hadn't said anything substantial since we came back from your room? I don't like his attitude, and you looked like you were going to be sick. Did you want him to stay?"

Mitchie let out a shaky breath. "I-I don't know. Sorry. I just was thinking." She walked down the hall to the bathroom. "I need to sit for a minute."

"Mitch, are you okay?" The smell of marijuana was still stuck in her nose. "Hey, do you have, like, an air freshener or something for the living room?"

She didn't believe anyone could get addicted to marijuana, but when she was in an uncomfortable situation, and that was an option, it still seemed like a decent icebreaker. She shook her head. "That was so disrespectful of him to just light up in your house. Like, he didn't even ask."

"Alex, can you just give me a minute, please? I think I'm going to be sick."

Alex spun around, realizing Mitchie was speaking from the bathroom. She heard the gut wrenching sound of a stomach trying to turn itself inside out. "Shit, Mitchie, are you okay?"

She walked into the bathroom to the sight of Mitchie hunched over the toilet, gagging. Quietly, Alex walked up behind her pulled her hair up and held it out of her way. "Do you want a cold rag or something?"

She rubbed Mitchie's shoulders with her free hand. When Mitchie nodded, Alex pulled a hand tie from her wrist and twisted Mitchie's hair up into a sloppy bun. "Where are your towels again?" Alex opened the narrow closet in the hallway and found a stack of towels of all sizes. "Never mind, found them."

Alex ran a small cloth under the faucet in the bathroom; she tried to ignore the fact that she was extremely frustrated that Mitchie was bent over a toilet all because of some high school friend. Why did Taylor have that much pull over her, even after all these years? She rung out the excess water and walked it over to Mitchie. She held it against her forehead and patted it down the nape of her neck.

Mitchie took the damp cloth from her and held it against her own forehead. "Thanks."

Alex rubbed her shoulders. "You're welcome." She kissed the back of Mitchie's head. "We're going to have to talk about this, because I'm seriously concerned and confused."

Mitchie shook her head. "There's nothing to talk about. Taylor came over, I was afraid he was going to say something stupid to you, which he did, and now he's gone."

"But what did he say to me that has resulted in you getting physically ill?" Alex sat down on the lip of her bathroom. "I don't understand. He asked me if I smoked, lit up without asking if it was okay, and he said the restaurant for the dinner on Friday would depend on Anita and Rikki. He also said you had bad luck with women, and called me your girlfriend. What was so stupid that you are sick about it?"

Mitchie pressed the cloth over her eyes and exhaled. She stretched out on the floor in front of the toilet. How could she explain without explaining Taylor's insistence that Mitchie give Rikki a shot? How could she explain without telling Alex she'd actually considered Taylor's suggestion? She kept her eyes covered. "I don't know." She couldn't think of anything to say that would make sense. "I just forgot how much his presence freaks me out. Like, he just wasn't always gay. So, sometimes, it's just still weird." Mitchie heard how lame her excuse was, but she stayed still.

Alex blinked, trying to figure out if Mitchie was being serious. She was unsure, but she decided not to press the issue anymore.

"I'm sorry he called you my girlfriend. I told him you weren't."

"It's really okay, Mitch." Alex slid off the tub and sat next to Mitchie's head. She ran her fingers over her scalp. "It's not the end of the world."

Mitchie removed the cloth. "What?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm sorry I'm being so difficult. I know it's probably hard to explain to people what we're doing. I know it was your idea, but I feel like neither of us really thought about how weird it would be to explain to anyone…I know it's hard. And I'm sorry."

Mitchie studied Alex, but she didn't look like she was being anything but serious. "Why did you kiss me on Thanksgiving?"

Alex looked down at her and tilted her head to the side. "Because I wanted to…was that not okay?"

Mitchie covered her eyes. "I don't know."

Alex reached out and lightly touched Mitchie's shoulder. "We've had a really weird day, could we just go to sleep, please?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll meet you in the bedroom. You can turn on 'Friends' again if you want." Mitchie sat up and slowly got to her feet. She flushed the toilet and set the wet cloth on the side of the bathtub. "I'm going to brush my teeth then I'll be there."

Alex didn't make a move to get up. "I can just wait here if that's okay."

Mitchie shrugged. "Your choice."

"I just want to be around you." Alex caught Mitchie's eyes in the mirror. "I'm sorry we've had such an off day."

Mitchie's eyes dropped and Alex watched her put toothpaste on her toothbrush. "It's my fault, too. I'm sorry."

Alex rested her head on her propped up knees. "Me, too. Tomorrow, we'll be better."

Mitchie worked the brush around in her mouth. She hoped they'd have a better tomorrow. She thought about explaining the whole Rikki situation once they got into bed, so that they could just leave it here, in this really uncomfortable day instead of spreading it out.

Alex lifted her head and pushed herself up off the ground. She leaned in the doorway and talked about some movies that she'd seen trailers for on _The Hobbit_ that she thought looked fun, and Mitchie couldn't bring herself to interrupt the calmed atmosphere.


	8. Do What You Want

**Thanks for the reviews. Sorry it's been taking so long in between updates. I plan to make up for that in the next week or so. I appreciate the support and encouragement.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
Still on twitter: heartvshand  
Read, maybe review, but mostly I just hope you enjoy it.**

8. Do What You Want

Friday night had finally caught up to Mitchie, and she hadn't come up with any kind of plan. She hadn't cancelled on Taylor, but she was considering it. She hadn't told Alex about Rikki, but she was thinking about it, especially after she had received a friend request from her on Facebook. The request had gone unanswered, and a private message was now sitting in her inbox, still unread.

Alex was applying eyeliner in the bathroom, and Mitchie stopped pacing in her bedroom. She walked down the hall and leaned against the door of the bathroom.

"Hey, what's up?"

Mitchie caught Alex's eyes in the mirror, then quickly dropped her gaze to the floor. "Would you hate me if we skipped dinner?"

Alex set the eyeliner pencil down and turned to face her. "No. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. I just…I mean, I know you don't really like getting ready then not doing anything." Mitchie glanced at Alex, but didn't focus on her.

"Well, we could still do dinner. Just you and me. Like, a date, you know?" Alex winked and tapped her finger against Mitchie's knuckles. "So, wait, why don't you want to do dinner with them? I mean, is it just Taylor? Because we can take him."

Mitchie's smile slowly dropped. "Uh, I just…I don't want to see him more than I absolutely have to."

Alex frowned; she wasn't sure she was buying that excuse. "Well, are they going to talk shit about us at the party the whole time if we ditch this dinner? Would that be more or less stressful?"

Mitchie shut her eyes and exhaled heavily. She rocked forward then backward on her feet and then stepped out of the bathroom.

"Mitch?"

"I don't know. We can just go to this dinner. That's okay. Sorry." Mitchie walked into the kitchen, Alex chasing after her. "I'm ready, all I have to do is put on my shoes."

Alex watched Mitchie's weight shift from one leg to the other. "You're not wearing any make-up or anything tonight?" She wasn't facing Alex, but Alex had noticed she hadn't applied her usual eyeliner, mascara or anything.

Mitchie bit her lip and grabbed a cup from the cupboard. "No. Not tonight." She'd been resisting the urge to dress up extra cute, because she wanted to see Rikki's face. When Mitchie had asked her out in high school, she'd been into an unfortunately awkward style; over the last few days, she'd been wondering if that had factored into Rikki turning her down. But she'd realized that it wasn't even worth figuring out because Rikki was so far behind her.

"Mitch? Are you okay?" Alex tried to get Mitchie to turn around, but Mitchie didn't budge. "You're acting really weird and you're scaring me."

Mitchie spun around, almost knocking Alex down in the process. She caught her by the arms. "Sorry. I just…I'm nervous." Mitchie realized her words weren't a total lie, but she wasn't sure if it counted as the complete truth either.

Alex pulled her into a hug. "It'll be okay. I'll be there and I'll drive. And we can leave whenever you want and you can blame it on me—I don't mind looking like the bad guy if we have to duck out early, okay?"

Mitchie nodded into her shoulder. "Thank you."

"Of course."

Mitchie opened her mouth, trying to get the words out in the order she wanted, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything about Rikki still. "Okay."

Alex pulled away from the hug, kissing Mitchie on the nose before letting go of her completely. "You just say the word, Mitch, and we're out of there, all right?"

Mitchie nodded, pulling her phone out of her back pocket as it vibrated. "Okay."

_Taylor: You and Alex coming tonight? Rikki's still joining us…which btw, does Alex think you're dating, because the other night when I dropped in, she didn't seem freaked out when I called her your girlfriend…?_

Mitchie rolled her eyes, but quickly responded. _We go on dates, so yes, we're dating, but we are not officially girlfriends. Leave it alone tonight, okay? And does Rikki really have to come?_

Her phone went off a few seconds later. _Taylor: Yes. She is joining us, because now that I've brought you up, girlfriend or not she wants to see you. So, great to hear you two are still coming. We've decided to try that pizza place next to the theater. Uncle Tony's? See you there around 6:30._

Mitchie didn't respond this time, and slid her phone back into her pocket. "Hey, Alex, they want to eat at Uncle Tony's at six-thirty."

Alex groaned. "That place sucks. Are they serious?"

Mitchie folded her arms across her chest and sank down onto the bathtub's edge. "Yeah. I feel like Anita or, um, no, it was probably her choice. I don't' know."

"So, who is going to be at this dinner?"

Mitchie had dreaded this question. "Anita, Taylor, and I think Rikki might be coming, too."

Alex snapped the cap back onto the lip gloss and set it down on the counter. "Cool. Is Rikki, like, Taylor's boyfriend or date or is he with Anita?"

Mitchie's heart nearly stopped. "Oh, no, Rikki is just this girl we used to hang out with in high school." She shrugged and twisted a loose strand of hair around her finger.

Alex nodded. "Well, that's cool."

Mitchie looked up, still on edge. "I guess. She's, um, uh…"

Alex paused in the doorway, playing with the doorknob. "She's what?"

Mitchie shrugged. "I don't know. She's just Rikki."

Alex let go of the doorknob and walked out of the room. "Okay." She laughed and walked into Mitchie's bedroom to grab her cell phone.

Mitchie slid her feet into her shoes and sat on the armrest of the couch, scrolling through her phone. She glanced down the hall, while the Facebook app loaded. She clicked on Rikki's unread message and scanned it quickly.

_ Hey, Mitchie. I'm so excited that Taylor mentioned you. He said you're kind of single? I'm not really sure what that means, but I'm really looking forward to seeing you. Maybe we can hang out at the party, catch up some? See you at the dinner on Friday. XOXO._

Mitchie bit her lip and exited out of the app, sliding her phone into her purse. Alex hadn't mentioned the kiss, and she'd avoided the conversation Alex had said they needed to have after Taylor's visit. She hadn't felt led on, since they'd spent all their time together, but now that Taylor was here, and Rikki was interested, she'd realized that maybe Alex hadn't been doing too many things that counted as interested.

Mitchie frowned. Why did she suddenly feel they'd skipped the cute new couple era and gone straight for the boring old married couple era?

"Sorry! Ready!" Alex had her wallet and keys. "I just have to put on my jacket."

Mitchie took the wallet from her and shoved it into her purse. "Same here."

"Thanks for letting me keep stuff in your purse." Alex kissed her forehead. "I appreciate it." She wrapped the jacket around herself. "And you. I appreciate you, Mitch."

Mitchie's heart raced. It felt like every time she thought that things were at a stalemate with Alex, she did something to disprove that thought. Mitchie smiled and squeezed her fingers. "Thanks. I appreciate you, too."

#

Alex wasn't a jealous person, but Rikki was really rubbing her the wrong way. She stirred the ice cubes, side-eying Mitchie. Ever since they'd been seated, Mitchie had been a nervous wreck, but she'd also had her eyes glued to Rikki, nearly the entire time.

She couldn't really blame her, because Rikki did look stunning, but the way Mitchie looked at her made Alex wonder if they'd dated, if they had some sort of history. She cleared her throat and put her hand on Mitchie's thigh. "Hey, I'm—"

"So, Mitchie, what's new with you?" Rikki was apparently done telling her saga about her life after high school.

Mitchie nearly choked, swallowing her mouthful. "Not much, just hanging out with Alex all the time, doing homework, working, school. What about you?"

Alex moved her hand and excused herself from the table.

Mitchie glanced at Alex's back, frowning. "Um, I'll be right back." She set her fork down and slid her chair back. She hurried towards the other girl. "Alex. Hey, what are you doing?"

Alex pushed the front door of the restaurant open and stepped outside, Mitchie on her heels. "Are you just going to stare at Rikki all night?"

"What are you—"

"Don't even!" Alex folded her arms across her chest. "Did you two date?"

Mitchie's face turned red. She knew Alex was right; the moment she saw Rikki, her brain had gotten clouded and confused. "No. I…she…I asked her, like, in sophomore year, but she said no. And I thought I was over it, but seeing her is just weird. And confusing."

Alex leaned against the building. "So, you still like her?"

"I don't know anything about her. I haven't spoken to her since we graduated. I just think she's still pretty. For all I know, she could be an ugly person on the inside."

Alex watched Mitchie, fidgeting with her fingers, looking at the ground. "Do you…want to get to know her?"

Mitchie lifted her eyes. "No. Not…I—you…we…I want you, Alex."

Alex stared at her. "Are you sure? Because this is the most you've even looked at me tonight. I don't want to date someone who's going to leave me at the drop of a hat or get flustered because of some old flame."

Mitchie reached out and grabbed Alex's shoulders. "Alex. Please, don't…I'm not—this isn't…I just, I'm surprised to see her."

Alex kept her arms folded, but her eyes flitted between Mitchie's. "Mitch, I want to believe you, but you're just…you've been acting like you were in love with her or something. It's seriously like a bad rom-com in there and I don't want to be what you're settling for."

"Alex! I'm not settling. You're not… that's not the situation." Mitchie tried to pull her into a hug, but found it difficult with Alex's stiff stance. "I won't talk to her ever again."

Alex pushed away from her hug and leaned against the building again. "That's not what I'm saying, Mitch. Talk to whoever you want. I don't want to control you or something stupid. That's not okay. I don't ever want us to be like that."

"Then trust me." Mitchie grasped Alex's hand.

"How can I when you're ogling this woman in front of me?"

Alex pulled her hand from Mitchie's, and Mitchie didn't say anything for a minute.

"You could have mentioned who Rikki was before we came." Alex paced on the sidewalk. "Like, we were talking about her, and you just said, 'She's just Rikki' –You knew I didn't know who she was, Mitch. You could have mentioned, 'Oh, I wanted to date her' –Actually, is she the reason why you've been such a wreck lately? Is she what made you throw up after Taylor left? God, now I look like the idiot."

Mitchie just stared at her. "Alex. No. I'm sorry. I messed up. I was just scared. I was afraid you'd…I don't know."

Alex blinked, but stopped pacing. "You were afraid I'd, what?"

Mitchie didn't respond.

"Mitch?" Alex's voice softened. "Talk to me, please?"

"Are you leading me on, Alex?"

Alex stood up straighter, tilting her head to the side. "What?"

"Do you just like having some company?"

"What? No. You're my best friend." Alex reached for Mitchie's hand. "Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know." Mitchie sighed; her shoulders dropped and she tightened her grip on Alex's hand. "Sorry. I should have mentioned Rikki. We're being rude…we should probably go back in there."

Alex laughed, but her neck felt warm. "Okay. Are we, you know, okay?"

Mitchie nodded. "I'm just sorry, Alex. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Mitch. Let's just finish dinner."

#

Mitchie regretted coming to the party; she and Alex had been there for less than five minutes, but couldn't find Taylor or Anita. They'd found a bunch of people they didn't recognize. Mitchie stood in the doorway of the kitchen, clutching Alex's hand with all her strength. Alex stared as someone did a keg stand, and Mitchie put her lips to Alex's ear. "I'm remembering why I hate parties."

Alex pulled her gaze from the guys holding their friend up, and laughed. "Yeah."

"Mitchie!" They both turned around as Rikki flung herself onto Mitchie's body, knocking Alex's hand out of hers. Mitchie fell against the table beside the keg, quickly peeling Rikki off of her.

"Oh my god, I didn't think I'd see you after last night. You and Alex, okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine."

Mitchie tried to step around Rikki, but Rikki threw her arms around her neck. "How have you been, Mitchie?"

Mitchie turned her head; the smell of liquor on her breath made Mitchie's stomach ache. "I've been fine."

Alex was standing in the doorway, watching Mitchie try to get out of Rikki's grip. She wasn't sure if she should intervene or not, but before she could decide, she felt someone grab her hand and pull her out of the doorframe.

"What the fuck?"

"Hey, girl, so we should start over!" Taylor pulled her into the living room. "You should light up." He handed her the joint in his hand.

She handed it back to him. "No, thanks. But feel free to smoke all you want."

Taylor sighed. "Please? I just want to have a good time with Mitchie's new girlfriend. I don't get to do a lot with her anymore, and I want to know she's in good hands."

He sank down onto the couch and pouted, joint held between his fingers.

She sighed and sat down next to him. "So, why were you such a jerk the other night?"

He lifted the joint, handing it to her again, but she declined again, so he took a minute and inhaled a lungful of smoke. He held it for a minute, and glanced around before speaking. "Honestly? I was just intimidated when I met you. I mean, she's different since she met you. She, like, I don't know…she's just happier. I mean, if you're her best friend, what am I? You know?"

Alex's lips yearned for the joint; the smoke smelled so sweet. She didn't pass it up when he offered it to her again.

Mitchie didn't understand why Alex left the kitchen, but she was disgruntled. Rikki was looking less and less attractive as the moments passed, so Mitchie walked away while someone distracted Rikki with shots.

As she was stepping into the living room, Mitchie saw Alex sitting with Taylor on the couch, smoking. A hand clapped down on Mitchie's shoulder and spun her around. Rikki.

"Mitchie, are you sure you don't want a drink, though?"

"No." She pushed Rikki away and walked over to Alex. "Alex, we should go."

She handed the joint back to Taylor. "Okay, sure. Can we finish this joint first?"

Rikki stumbled back over and held a red, plastic cup out for Mitchie. "Come on, baby. Let's dance."

Alex frowned. "What?"

Mitchie sighed. "This isn't what it looks like."

"Do what you want, Mitchie. It's not like we're dating or anything!" Alex stood up, pushing away Taylor's outstretched hand. Her body felt tingly; she was high enough. Her brain couldn't focus on Mitchie, but she walked over to the doorway, looking for the front door.

Taylor blew smoke out and watched Alex walk away. "She seems pissed. And it sounds like she just broke up with you."

Mitchie rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Taylor."

Rikki followed Mitchie as she walked down the hall towards Alex. "Alex! I'm serious. It's not even what it looks like. You know she crash-landed on me in the kitchen."

Alex couldn't fight the fog of marijuana off fast enough. She sank down onto the front porch. "Are you sure? Because it looked like your girlfriend brought you a drink and wanted to dance."

Mitchie shook her head and slowly sat down next to Alex, trying not to get annoyed. "Alex. Stop." She sighed. "Why on earth are you high?"

"Taylor offered it to me...I just missed doing this." Alex leaned her head on Mitchie's shoulder.

Mitchie laughed. "How much did you smoke?"

"Not that much. Like maybe…six hits, maybe." Alex lifted her head. "You should probably go check on Rikki now."

Mitchie frowned. "Alex, seriously, why are you doing this?"

"I just want to be alone, Mitch."

"Yeah? Well, so do I."

Alex scooted a few feet away. "Well, go be alone somewhere else then."

"You're serious?"

"Mitchie, I'm just upset. Let me be."

Mitchie stayed where she was, but she was getting annoyed. Alex was throwing a fit over nothing. She watched Alex bring her knees up to her chest and close her eyes. She let out a heavy sigh. "Alex, are you my girlfriend? Are you legitimately my girlfriend?"

Alex tilted her head to the side, and opened her eyes to look at Mitchie. She was silent for a few moments, but finally shook her head. "No."

"Then if I wanted to go in there and make out with Rikki, you don't have any grounds to be upset! Last night, you were right. I should have told you about Rikki, but tonight, you're being ridiculous. I don't know what Taylor said to you, or what you think or what you're doing right now, but I just am so pissed that you think you get to throw this fit."

"You're right. You can do whatever you want. Go, dance with Rikki, go make out with her, go do whatever…I don't care."

Mitchie froze. "What?"

Alex shut her eyes. "Have fun, Mitch."

"But, Alex…I just…want—"

"I don't get to be jealous, Mitchie. You're not my girlfriend…" Alex laughed, but it sounded forced and slightly angry, or bitter. "Go, do whoever you want."

"Alex! Stop."

Alex opened her eyes. "What, Mitch, isn't this what you were just saying?"

"No." Mitchie sighed. "I'm going back inside, come find me when you want to actually talk about this."

"I'll be here when you're ready to leave."

Mitchie sighed, and pushed the front door open. She walked into the kitchen and watched a group of guys, laughing and joking about stick-on mustaches. She grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with water from the faucet.

"Mitchie, there you are." Rikki leaned against the sink, while Mitchie sipped her water. "I'm glad you're finally drinking. I thought I was going to be the only drunk one."

Mitchie decided it was better if Rikki didn't know she was just drinking water. "Plenty of people here are drunk, Rick, you'll be fine."

Rikki held onto Mitchie's forearm, her nails digging in, and Mitchie wondered what had happened to her in the last few years. "You're so funny, Mitchie."

She smiled tightly, and pried the nails out of her arm. "Look, I should really…go. I have to take care of something. Sorry. It was good to see you, though."

"Wait, please do a shot with me." Rikki pouted and grabbed the fifth of vodka from the kitchen counter. "Please, Mitchie?"

She sighed and glanced at the doorway. Alex wasn't there; her shoulders fell and she looked back to Rikki and the bottle of vodka. "Fine."

"Yes!" She grabbed two shot glasses of the table next to the keg and poured two shots. "This is going to be so great."

Mitchie rolled her eyes. One shot was not going to change anything. She was going to find a Coke for Alex, and then go back out to Alex and they were going to leave.

"Here." Rikki handed it to her and she glanced at the door once more. "Cheers!" Rikki clinked her glass against Mitchie's.

Mitchie tossed hers back and handed the cup back to Rikki, walked over to the fridge and scanned the contents. She found a Diet Coke and left the kitchen.

She walked out to the front porch and found Alex talking to some girl and taking a hit off a glass piece. She sighed. "Alex, damn it! Can you stop with that?"

"Mitchie, this is…I'm sorry, what was your name?" Alex giggled.

"Kylie."

"Kylie! This is Kylie. Mitchie, say hello."

"Hi, Kylie. I'm sorry, but Alex has to leave now." Mitchie worked the piece out of Alex's grip and handed it to Kylie. "Thanks."

Kylie laughed and got up. "Sorry, I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"I don't. This is just Mitchie."

Mitchie rolled her eyes. "She's my girlfriend. Sorry."

"No, no. You want to date Rikki; it's fine. Go ahead. I'm going to take a chance with Kylie."

Kylie backed up. "Whoa, whoa, no…I'm not going to get into this mess. Sorry…it was nice to meet both of you."

"Yeah." Mitchie sat down in the spot that Kylie had vacated. "Alex, come on. Chill out for a minute. I brought this for you."

"Why is alcohol on your breath?"

"I went inside to get you a Coke, ran into Rikki." Mitchie opened the top of the can for her and handed it to Alex.

Alex took a long gulp from the can. "Why does your breath smell like that though?"

"I did a shot with Rikki, because she wouldn't shut up."

"Oh. I thought you made out with her."

"No. I don't want to make out with her."

"Is this diet?"

Mitchie sighed. "Yes."

"Oh. Well, here. I'm not that thirsty."

"Come on, you're gonna realize you've got cotton mouth, then you probably won't shut up about needing something to drink." Mitchie took the can that Alex was holding out for her. "Fine. I'll hold on to it."

"Thanks."

"Alex, can we leave?" Mitchie stood, and brought Alex with her.

"Sure, can you drive though?"

"Yeah, I guess so." She felt a little wobbly, but she knew that the shot wasn't going to be too inconvenient. "Where are your keys?"

Alex fished the keychain out of her hoodie pocket. "Here."

"Thanks."

Mitchie led them down the street to Alex's car. "So, why'd you get high?"

"I just missed it." Alex cleared her throat. "I kissed Kylie."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. It was just a peck, on the cheek. For being pretty."

"Are you kidding? Alex, why did you kiss me? We never talked about that. And now you're here and kissing some girl you don't even know."

"Well, I thought you were dancing with Rikki. And I thought we weren't together."

"You keep telling me that we're not, so I guess I can't get mad, can I, Alex?" Mitchie dropped her into the passenger seat and walked around to the driver's side, trying not to get too upset.

Alex laughed as Mitchie buckled up and started the car. "Want to know what I was going to do tomorrow morning?"

Mitchie didn't actually care, but she figured if she kept Alex talking, she'd have less time to yell while driving. "Sure."

Alex was quiet for a long time, but Mitchie didn't care too much. She was trying to figure out why there had been an outbreak of stupidity at the party. She sighed and turned onto their street.

Mitchie parked in Alex's driveway. She noticed Alex was asleep. She laughed and Alex opened one eye. "We're here."

Alex yawned. "Do you still have that Diet Coke?"

"Yeah. Here." Mitchie held up the canned drink. "I'm going to stay at my house tonight."

"Oh?" Alex frowned and rubbed her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just…want to be alone tonight."

Alex unbuckled. "Okay."

"I'll, um, I'll call you." Mitchie got out of the driver's seat and grabbed her heavy jacket out of the backseat. "Good night, Alex."

Alex watched her walk across the snowy path, watching her footprints appearing as she went. Alex grabbed her heavier jacket from the back seat and snuggled into it before getting up the energy to go inside her own house.


	9. Holidaze: II

**Hey, thanks so much for the reviews. I'm sorry I didn't post this yesterday like I planned to, but at least it's here now. I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.  
****I'm still working on getting updates up faster than I have been, so hopefully I'll be able to update again soon.  
****Feel free to follow me on Twitter. heartvshand ****  
**

**Enjoy!**

9. Holidaze: II

Mitchie woke up Sunday morning to the sound of her cell phone vibrating against her nightstand. She picked it up and saw Alex's name flashing on the screen. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and groaned. She set the phone back down and put her head under her pillow. Her mouth tasted like stale liquor and she regretted not brushing her teeth before collapsing onto her bed the night before.

The phone vibrated again and she reached for it out of habit. She had one new voicemail from Alex waiting for her. As she held the phone, it vibrated against her palm. A new message from Taylor popped up.

She decided to read that before listening to Alex's message. Opening the conversation, her eyes scanned his words. _Hey, sorry I missed you last night! You + Alex didn't stay long. Like what? 40 minutes? Lame! :( _

Mitchie rolled her eyes and clicked out of the conversation and went to the voicemail. She took a deep breath and then hit play.

Alex's voice filled her head. "Hey, I'm really sorry about last night, and Friday night…and I'm just really sorry in general. Can I make you breakfast? Please, call me back?"

Mitchie pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at the screen, examining the picture of the two of them that she had set as her background.

Alex paced her kitchen, a folded piece of paper with Mitchie written across the front sat on the table, in front of the spot where Mitchie usually sat when she came over; Alex had biscuits in the oven and she was trying to hold off on the eggs and bacon until she heard back from Mitchie, but she had a knot in her stomach and a bad feeling was pooling in her chest; Mitchie wasn't going to call her back.

Alex sighed and leaned her head against the doorframe. She wanted to take back last night, Friday, the last few months. She wanted to start over. She wanted go back in time and say, "Yes, Mitchie, I'm so happy you dumped Shanelle. Please, date me? Be my girlfriend right now." She wanted it to be October again.

The timer beeped and she grabbed the biscuits out of the oven and set them on the stovetop to cool. She licked her lips and glanced at her phone, sitting on the counter, screen still unlit. She tried to will Mitchie to call, but didn't make any progress.

She sat down at the small dining table and stared at the folded piece of paper. Alex's body temperature slowly dropped as her eyes tingled with tears.

Mitchie wasn't coming.

Alex took the note to her room and placed it in the top drawer of her desk and then went back to the kitchen to eat her biscuits alone.

#

Mitchie went through the motions while she ate Christmas dinner with her family the night after Christmas. She hadn't spoken to Alex in over a week, and after that first voicemail, Alex hadn't tried to call her either.

Mitchie didn't know what this meant for them, but she hated sleeping alone. She missed Alex and their late night talks, but mostly, she missed waking up with her.

She pushed her green beans around on the plate and picked at the edge of the ham, trying to discretely remove the fatty border. Mitchie didn't want to believe things were truly over, because Mitchie still had some of Alex's clothes, and she was certain she'd left some things at Alex's as well. Plus, she still had Alex's DVD box set of "Friends." Things couldn't be over.

"Mitchie?"

"Hm?" She set her fork down and grabbed her glass of water. "Sorry, I was thinking about work."

Her father swallowed his mouthful and spoke again. "Where's Alex tonight?" He took another bite of food.

"Oh, she had to work, but she says thanks for the invite and she's sorry she couldn't make it." Mitchie wondered what Alex was actually doing, and as she bit into a dinner roll, she wished she had invited Alex.

"Oh, that's too bad." Her mother dabbed her lips with a napkin. "Do you want to take her leftovers?"

Mitchie nodded, unable to say no, without feeling guilty for lying. "Sure. That's a great idea, Mom. Thanks."

Mitchie stood on Alex's porch, two hours later, with foil-covered leftovers in hand. She stared at the front door, her eyes flitting between the door and the doorbell. She couldn't decide if she should leave the food on the doorstep or ring the bell.

Glancing over at her driveway, she groaned. This was a stupid idea. She bit her lip. On the drive back, she'd thought about what Alex had said, what had happened at the party, that Friday, everything leading up to it. Despite all of the stupidity, she really wished things could work out between the two of them. She knew if they could just be together officially, all of their problems would go away—or they'd find new problems that they could tackle together.

She took a step back, off the porch, and headed over to her house. She set the foil-covered plate in her fridge and went to her room. Sitting down at her desk, she booted up her laptop. She logged into Facebook and saw that Alex was online. She thought about sending her a message, but instead shut the laptop and crawled into bed. Talking to Alex might just make things more confusing.

Alex clearly didn't want to date her. She'd reflected on everything and Mitchie was certain that Alex had only gone along with the whole dumb idea, because Mitchie had been so persistent. It didn't really account for the jealousy, but the jealousy annoyed Mitchie for other reasons.

It wasn't fair that Alex says they can't date, then gets upset when someone else shows up who is interested in anything besides holding hands and cuddling and kissing Mitchie once in a dark theater and then never speaking about it again. She sighed and took a deep breath, wishing Alex's hoodie was Alex instead of an empty piece of fabric.

It bothered Mitchie that Alex hadn't even tried to call her again. That made sense with Mitchie's theory about how Alex wasn't even interested in dating her. If she really wanted it, she would be persistent. She would come over and bang on Mitchie's door until she answered. She'd call incessantly. She'd actually try something instead of not acknowledging Mitchie's presence since Mitchie said goodbye after the party.

But the most annoying piece of the puzzle always dwindled down to the fact that, Mitchie still wanted to call her; she wanted Alex around, whether Alex was interested in dating her or not.

#

Alex had lied to her mom about having to work on Christmas; partly because she was still unsure if her dad had meant that she wasn't allowed to ever come home again or not, but mostly because she was didn't want to speak to anyone or deal with anyone, especially in case Mitchie decided to come over. She wanted to be home.

Instead of working, she had stayed inside and watched TV shows on the Internet and tried to stop thinking about Mitchie. She was trying not to monitor Mitchie's life, but it was hard when they lived next to each other. She knew when Mitchie was home and when she wasn't.

Every time she saw that car pull up and Mitchie walked into her own house, Alex's heart sank a little more. After her failed attempt to make breakfast and ask Mitchie to be her girlfriend the Sunday after the party, Alex had realized Mitchie had said, "I'll call you," before she had gotten out of Alex's car.

Since she hadn't called or replied to Alex at all, Alex figured Mitchie didn't want to talk to her. Alex hated it, but she didn't want to push herself into the other girl's life. She figured Mitchie would talk to her if she wanted, and it hurt to think that Mitchie didn't want to talk to her. She couldn't stand the idea of Mitchie having to reject her more thoroughly than the cold shoulder.

The show online froze and she glanced at her Facebook page, hoping to see a message from Mitchie. Nothing. She exhaled and shut the laptop. She curled into a ball and stared at the wall. Her eye caught a sweatshirt on the floor; it was Mitchie's. She crawled out of bed and pulled it over her head. She crawled back into bed, with the other girl's sweatshirt wrapped around her.

She wanted Mitchie to call, come over, or do something. She shut her eyes and tried to think of some other way to say sorry, but couldn't think of anything before she fell asleep.

Alex woke up to the sound of ringing and sunlight streaming in through the window blinds. She blinked and tried to get her bearings. She grabbed her phone, but it wasn't the source of the noise, so she got out of bed as her heart raced.

It was the doorbell. Mitchie was at the front door; they were finally going to talk again. She flung the door open. "Mitch—Max? Hey. What are you doing here? Are Mom and Dad with you?"

"No." Max readjusted the duffel bag over his shoulder. "Um, it's just me. But you said, I could come live with you—"

"Yeah, when you graduate!" Alex stepped aside and motioned for him to come inside. "What happened? Why are you here?"

"Well, Dad was being a jerk, so I decided I'd come bunk with you. If that's okay."

"How'd you get here? Do you have a car?" Alex glanced outside, through the door's window. It was snowing a little, but she didn't see any other cars besides hers and Mitchie's.

Her eyes lingered on the other girl's car, while Max laughed. "No. I told Mom I was going to stay at a cabin with some friends until the day after New Year's Day."

Alex scratched the back of her head and led the way to the living room. "Well, you can sleep on the couch."

"Thanks. Oh, hey, I know this is late, but Merry Christmas!" He dropped to the ground and unzipped his duffel bag. After a few minutes of rummaging around, he held up a small, wrapped cube. "I figured you didn't actually have to work. It was okay, because Justin wound up coming this time. I think Mom begged him, though. So I don't know if that counts."

Alex rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. "Thanks, Max. I didn't really go shopping for anyone, but Merry Christmas."

She thought about the present sitting in the bottom drawer of her dresser, waiting for Mitchie. She blinked and focused on the small box with tiny elves and Santas running around on the wrapping paper. She opened it and found a box containing a gold necklace with a cross inside. "Well, thanks, Max!"

"Sorry, if that's lame. I just didn't know what else to get you. But I wanted to get you something nice."

Alex laughed and pulled him up from the ground into a hug. "It's perfect. Thank you." She kissed his ear. "You're the best little brother anyone could ask for."

Max ruffled her hair, which caused her to release him from the hug. "Thanks, I'm glad you liked it."

"I love it, Max. Really." She took it out of the box and hooked it around her neck. "I'll wear it everywhere I can within reason." She winked and set the box on the coffee table. "So, what do you want to do now that you're here?"

Max shrugged and looked around the house. Alex followed his gaze, realizing her place was probably more barren than he was used to.

"Sorry, there's not much to do. Usually I just hang out with Mitchie, but that's not really an option right now." She sighed and relaxed into the couch.

Max frowned. "Why? I thought you were going to ask her to be your girlfriend or something."

"Well, I was, but I was stupid and some things were said…" Alex shook her head, folded her arms across her chest, and shrugged. "It's just not happening right now. If ever."

"I'm sorry, Alex. If you need a wingman, I'm here for you." He patted her shoulder. "So, what were you doing before I came here?"

Alex ducked her head and grinned, a small snicker left her lips. "I was sleeping."

"Oh. Well, cool, I guess." Max made a face and shook his head. "Would you want to show me around the house or the neighborhood? Doesn't Mitchie live near you? Can you show me her house at least?"

Alex pointed towards the front door. "She's right next to us. The yard with the mailboxes, that's our shared yard area, and then that's her house."

Max frowned. "Oh. So you're neighbors…and you're in a fight, and you tried to date?"

Alex sighed. "I still want to date her. I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, but we got into the fight like the two nights right before the day I was going to do it. And then, she left and we haven't talked since."

Max blinked several times. "Why don't you just go over there and try to talk to her?"

Alex rested her head against the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling. "Because, she said she'd call me…and I haven't heard from her."

Max laughed. "Alex, that's stupid. Just go talk to her."

Alex lifted her head and shook it back and forth. "It's not that easy, Max. It's more complicated than…I just gave you the short version."

His shoulders dropped and he sighed. "Fine." They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Alex watched as Max's head swiveled around. "So, what do you usually do around here? With or without Mitchie."

"Usually we cook, watch TV, talk, do homework…sometimes, we go running." Alex headed to her room to get her cell phone. "You can come back here with me, but I'm just getting my phone."

Max, who had stood up, sat back down. "Are you going to call her?"

"No, Max. Please, drop it."

His leg bounced up and down and Alex watched it as she walked back into the room.

"Why are you so nervous?"

"I've got a lot of energy." Max scooted back over, letting Alex sit down, leaving a cushion between them.

Alex laughed. "Well, okay then. Do you want to…play cards or a board game or something?"

"Sure, do you have any?"

"Um, I've got Connect Four and a deck of cards." Alex got back up and walked into the kitchen. "I think the cards are in here."

#

Mitchie peeked out of the window in her bedroom and saw Alex's light was on. She wondered why she was up so late. She sighed and thought about texting her, but decided against it.

Suddenly, she saw two figures running around Alex's driveway, throwing snowballs at each other. She frowned. She assumed one was Alex, but who was the other? It looked like a boy. As far as Mitchie knew, Alex only dated girls, so she tried not to get too worked up.

One figure sat down on the side of the house closest to Mitchie's and looked in her direction. She let go of the blind, afraid they'd actually seen her. Her heart sped up and she took several deep breaths, trying to get herself back to normal.

She waited a few minutes and decided to try again. She pushed one of the slants down and saw that the figure had disappeared from the side of the house, but the two silhouettes were still running around chasing each other with snowballs. Finally, one of them collapsed in the lawn and the other tackled them. Muffled laughter floated over to Mitchie's windowpane.

She smiled, stepping away from the window. She was happy Alex was having a good time, no matter who it was with. She sighed and crawled into bed. It was two in the morning and she had to be at work in the morning; she didn't have time to worry about Alex. As she drifted between sleep and consciousness, she wondered what Alex would be doing for New Year's Eve, and she thought about calling her anyway.

The next morning she woke to several messages: Taylor, Rikki, and Anita. She didn't really have time to deal with that, but she assumed it was about New Year's Eve parties, since it was officially New Year's Eve. She glanced at Anita's since she hadn't really had a chance to talk to her, but left the messages from Rikki and Taylor alone.

_Anita: Hey, Mitch, so you were too busy with the whole Rikki-Alex drama last time I saw you. Are you done with all that? I feel like we definitely didn't get to talk. I heard you came to the party, but I didn't even see you. Could we do lunch or dinner or something? Love you._

Mitchie let that idea fester while she got ready for work. It would be nice to see the one person who wasn't giving her a headache. Once she was ready for work, she picked her phone back up and typed out a reply.

_Hey, Anita, sorry about that. I would love to see you, too. I miss you. Would you want to come over tonight and have dinner? I work until 5 tonight. Let me know, we can order something or I can make a frozen pizza haha _

She hit send and then realized she hadn't included her address, so she sent a second message with that information and then went out to clear any snow or ice from the windshield. She saw the stomped through snow from Alex's snowball fight last night and wished she'd been a part of it.

As she was sitting in her car, waiting for it to warm up, she saw a younger male step outside onto Alex's porch. He fished a lighter from his back pocket and leaned against the bricks to the side of the door. He lit and unlit the lighter for a few minutes and waved when he realized Mitchie was in her car.

Mitchie waved back, trying to figure out who that could be. The guy on Alex's porch pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. He stuck one between his lips and lit up. Mitchie backed out of her driveway and then headed to work.

Mitchie stood in the lobby of the movie theater, talking to the girls working door and box, when she saw Alex's car pull up. She stopped speaking, mid-sentence and stared for a moment, before walking away. "Um, if a girl with dark hair gets out of that car, let her in for free."

She walked down the hall, disappearing from the view of all the cameras in the building. Her walkie-talkie broke into her thoughts. "Hey, there's a guy with her, do I make him pay?"

Mitchie unhooked the walkie-talkie from her side and pressed the button down. "No."

She didn't hear back from the box worker, so she assumed they'd walked inside. She could feel her heart pumping blood through her body, and she felt lightheaded. She leaned against the stone wall and tried to take a few deep breaths. Why was Alex here?

"Mitchie?"

Mitchie looked up and saw Alex and the same male from the porch that morning walking towards her. She waved.

Once Alex was closer, she spoke again. "Hey…so, why didn't your box worker let us pay?"

Mitchie shrugged. "Merry Christmas."

"It's New Year's Eve."

"I know."

Max stood there, watching the two of them.

Mitchie eyed him after a moment, and Alex shifted so that Max wasn't excluded from their conversation.

"This is Max."

Max held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Mitchie."

"Nice to meet you, too." Mitchie shook his hand and eyed the two of them, trying to figure out if this was a date.

"I see Alex posting pictures of you two a lot on Facebook."

Alex slapped his arm. "Max, shut up. Mitchie…sorry, um, this is my younger brother. He doesn't really know when to leave something alone." She eyed him and Mitchie smirked; Alex was still cute when she was embarrassed.

Mitchie nodded. "So, um, what are you two seeing?"

Alex turned her attention back to Mitchie and rolled her eyes. "Max wanted to see _Django Unchained_. Is it any good?"

Mitchie shrugged. "I don't know. It just came out. It's probably good. But even if you don't like it, it's free. You'll probably like it. I've liked the parts I've walked in on."

Alex's shoulders fell. She wished Mitchie could watch it with them. "Yeah. Well, I'll let you know how it is."

Mitchie smiled. "Have fun."

Max wandered down the hall, looking for the correct theater.

"It's in number one. The previews are about to start."

One of the employee's voices erupted from Mitchie's walkie-talkie. "Mitchie, could I get quarters, please?"

She sighed and stepped away from Alex. "I'll, um, see you later."

Alex's heart jumped and she nodded. "Yeah. H-have fun."

Mitchie waved and walked away, and Alex headed down the hall after her brother.

"See, was that so hard?"

"Shut up, Max. She's working, so she has to be nice. It doesn't count."

"She didn't have to let us in for free." Max threw his arm over Alex's shoulders and pulled her into the correct theater. "That counts."

The darkness of the auditorium engulfed them and Alex mumbled, "Leave it alone, Max."

He let go of her and led the way to a row of empty seats near the top.

Mitchie was oddly relieved as she handed the quarters over to Derek, the concession worker. She hadn't even thought about it being one of her brothers, and now she felt silly for thinking Alex might have been hanging out with some random guy in a romantic way. She laughed, walked into the office, and sat down in the big, swivel chair. She pulled Alex's page up on her phone and saw Max had posted on there multiple times, had liked several photos of the two of them; she shook her head, feeling relief and mild embarrassment for feeling at all jealous.

She replayed the interaction with Alex in her head. Alex hadn't seemed upset. She bit her lip and set her phone down. Maybe she should call her later; maybe they could make plans for that evening. She was on the verge of texting Alex to ask her, when she remembered she had dinner plans with Anita. She put the idea of talking to Alex on the back burner and decided she could do that the next day.

#

"So, do you know about any good parties going on tonight?" Max sipped from his soda can as Alex took the frozen pizza out of the oven. "I got invited to a few, but I didn't know if you already had plans, so I figured I'd wait and see what you were doing."

Alex grabbed the pizza cutter and started running it across the pizza. "I don't really party, Max. I mean, I went to one party with Mitchie before Christmas, and that seriously just ended in disaster…so basically, I just remembered why I don't really go out anymore."

Max sighed overdramatically and Alex rolled her eyes. "Alex! It's just one night with your brother. Please?"

"I'm not stopping you. If you want, I'll take you to your friends' parties, but I'll just be your DD. I'm not going to the parties and I'm not getting drunk anywhere."

Max dropped his arm from his eyes and stared at her. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. I'll drive you anywhere, and I'll pick you up, I just don't want you to drive drunk or get in someone else's car if they're stupid enough to drive after drinking."

Max stared at her. "Why don't you drink? You're twenty-two. It's legal for you."

She sighed. "I just don't like it anymore. I drank a lot before it was legal, and I drank myself out."

"Do you at least smoke still?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I mean, I did at the party I went to with Mitchie, but that was a huge mistake, too." She sighed and tossed a paper plate to Max.

He caught it and walked over to the pizza pan. He dropped two pieces onto his plate and sat back down. "I can't believe that. You seemed like you were never going to stop drinking or smoking when you lived at home."

"Yeah, well, I was dealing with Dad a lot, so I didn't really care about staying sober. Now that I'm out here on my own, I'm too busy to really waste money or time on that kind of stuff."

"Wow, Lex. I'm just…disappointed."

Alex slapped the back of his head lightly. "Shut up. You should be proud of me."

"Well, I always dreamed of drinking with you and Justin some day. You two had all these cool stories, and you sounded like a lot of fun to drink with and now you don't drink and Justin is barely around." He took a bite of his pizza slice and shrugged.

Alex popped open her Coke can and drank a long gulp from it. "Well, that shit really leads to nothing but trouble for me, so I just don't want to do it anymore, Max. Sorry you feel deprived."

Mitchie parked her car and saw the lights on in Alex's house and wondered what she was up to tonight, but before she could lose herself in possibilities, she heard a car coming up behind her. She turned to see Anita, waving as she turned her car off and got out.

"Mitchie! I got Chinese! I hope that's okay." Anita held up a plastic bag as she hugged Mitchie with her free arm.

After Anita and Mitchie got inside and got the food sorted, they sat at the dining table, eating and catching up. Mitchie couldn't remember feeling so relaxed around anyone from high school in a while.

"So, what are your plans tonight?"

Mitchie tried not to cringe, because she knew the question had been coming. She swallowed her bite of food and took a drink from her glass of water. "I don't know. I just planned on staying home tonight. Why? What are you doing?"

"Taylor and I plan on going out to some bars, and we wanted to know if you wanted to come, but Rikki's joining us again, so we didn't know if that would be an issue, since her presence clearly ran you off last time."

Mitchie sighed. "Sorry."

"So, you don't want to come?"

Mitchie shrugged. "I don't know. I'd rather…I don't know. I'd just rather sit at home and watch the ball drop alone than deal with the overcrowded bars."

Anita sighed. "All right."

"Sorry. It's just easier to not get drunk that way."

Anita laughed. "But the whole point is to get white-girl wasted tonight."

Mitchie shook her head. "I'd rather not."

Anita shrugged and went back to eating, and Mitchie followed suit.

"So," Mitchie said. "Um, did Rikki give up on me?"

The other girl lifted her head and looked at Mitchie with a strange look that made her uneasy. "No. She asked for your number this morning. Did she not text you?"

"Oh. Shit." Mitchie got up from the table and hurried to her bedroom. She opened her messages and saw the unread messages from Taylor and Rikki still waiting in her inbox. She laughed and opened them one at a time.

_Rikki: Hey, so I don't know if you and your gf are ok or not, but you should call me if you don't have any plans tonight!_

_Taylor: You should come to the bars with us tonight. Rikki, me and Anita are all going to hit up some places downtown. Please?_

Mitchie sighed and sat down across from Anita. "I'd rather not do any of this stuff."

"If you really didn't want to, why'd you ask about Rikki?"

Mitchie ran her fingers up and down the cold glass, watching her fingertips leave trails in the condensation. She pulled her hand away and rubbed her wet thumb and index finger together. "I don't know. I just…"

"If you want to have one fun night, with some old friends, I want you to come out. But if you don't want to have a fun night with us, then I don't want to see you be miserable. Okay? It's your call, but will you regret not seeing us all once more? We're all graduating in the spring, and we may or may not come home again. Who knows? This could be the last time we all see each other until, we get, like, married or something."

Anita left after dinner, but her words clung to Mitchie's brain. She wanted to see everyone, and she really missed having Alex around, but she missed having any company at all, too.

It was around ten when she heard a car start; she looked outside and saw Alex backing out of her driveway. She frowned. Where was she going? Mitchie groaned. Alex wasn't even going to be home tonight.

Mitchie wondered what the bars would even hold for her. She knew she wouldn't find anything worthwhile there, just like the night at the party. She really did hate that scene now, but she didn't want to spend the night alone, especially knowing Alex was going out.

#

Anita's car pulled up in front of Mitchie's house for the second time that night, and Mitchie hurried out to it.

"I'm so glad you changed your mind!" Anita shouted while Mitchie buckled into the seat next to her. "Sorry, I'm yelling, RiRa's is just super loud and I can't hear anything right now."

Mitchie laughed. "I've only got forty bucks, so I hope that's enough for al these stupid cover charges."

"Forty dollars? Are you not drinking?"

Mitchie shook her head. "No, I'm just going to come and dance and hang out for a while."

"That's cool!"

Mitchie figured she could get a cab home if all of them were too drunk to drive her home later. Alex's car had yet to reappear in her driveway, so Mitchie was certain she was out for the night.

Anita shouted over the music stuck inside her ears the whole ride over to RiRa's and Mitchie started to wonder if Anita should have been driving at all. She frowned, but stayed quiet. Anita finally parked and led the way to the club's front door. The line wasn't too long, which surprised Mitchie, but she didn't complain.

Once she was inside, she regretted wearing her thick winter jacket, because it was steamier in here than it was outside. She found the coatroom and stood in the doorway of it for a while. She thought about leaving her jacket, but thought of the many jackets she'd lost at clubs and decided against it. She took the jacket off and draped it over her arm. She'd rather hold on to it and have a hard time dancing than lose it to some drunken idiot.

She wandered upstairs to the dance floor and found Anita dancing up against some guy she'd never seen before and Taylor and Rikki were doing weird dance moves together. She laughed and decided to wait at the bar for a cup of water. After getting it, she sat down at a table near the stairs, furthest away from the speakers. She glanced at her cell phone, and noticed it was only 10:45. She wondered what Alex was up to, but didn't want to text her.

Someone fell into the seat across from her and she looked up. "Mitchie! You came!"

"Hey, Rikki."

"Why aren't you dancing?"

Mitchie held up her jacket. "I don't wanna have to dance and hold this."

Rikki grabbed it from her and swung it around her neck like a lumpy, rolled up towel. "Come on."

Mitchie let Rikki lead her to the dance floor. She slipped her phone into her front pocket and danced with Rikki, letting herself get lost in the techno beat for the first time in a while.

Alex parked her car on Main Street and walked into the quietest bar she remembered being on the street, The Peephole. Even on holidays, no one was ever rowdy. It was where people in their late twenties, early thirties hung out and pretended to be too cool to get excited about anything, so it was generally quiet until someone got too heated about which indie band was better. She found a small table in the corner and sat down. Max was a few blocks over at a party in some hotel-turned-apartments and Alex hated the idea of wasting gas to go all the way back to her house on the east side of town. She already knew she and Mitchie would be wasting enough gas driving to the west side independently this coming semester that she didn't wan to start spending that extra money on gas before she absolutely had to.

She ordered a glass of water when the waitress asked and thanked her when she came back with it, and then pulled out her phone. She scrolled through her Facebook news feed, but didn't see any updates from Mitchie or any new pictures she was tagged in. She'd seen Mitchie's car had still been at the house when she'd left to take Max to his friend's party. She wondered if Mitchie was spending the night alone, and if Mitchie would want to keep her company while she waited for Max's party to wrap up. She sighed and sipped her water, setting the phone on her lap. Why would Mitchie want to sit in a bar on New Year's Eve with the girl who she wasn't really talking to, anyway?

#

"Well, well, well, Michelle." Taylor bumped his hip against Mitchie's as they leaned against the balcony at RiRa's. "I'm so happy you joined us. And I'm so happy you're dancing with Rikki."

Mitchie looked up from her third glass of water. "Nothing's going to happen. And if you haven't noticed, I'm keeping an arm's length between Rikki and me during those dances. "

"But, Mitch," Taylor said, twisting to face her. "Mitch." He placed his hands on her shoulders and his legs wobbled a little. "Listen. This is Rikki. She was, like, the girl you wanted the most in high school. And now she wants you. She has literally not stopped talking about you since I brought you up."

Mitchie sighed and looked down at the ice cubes in her cup. "Taylor, that was high school. I don't even know her anymore. I mean, she's been sloppy drunk both times I've seen her, and she doesn't even know me anymore. We haven't talked since high school."

"So? Start over? Nothing's wrong with starting over."

Alex came to mind. Mitchie licked her lips and sighed. "Fine, I'll think about it, okay?"

Taylor pulled her into a hug, spilling her water down her front. "Shit. Dude. Where'd that drink come from?"

Mitchie laughed and guided them back inside. "Come on, it's cold out here anyway."

"I'm serious. Starting over is always okay, you know? Just give Rikki a chance."

Mitchie sighed. "I'll consider it."

"Mitchie!" Rikki bounced over to them; her hair was messy with sweat and she was wrapped up in Mitchie's jacket. "Anita and I want to go next door to Stoney's!"

Mitchie refrained from rolling her eyes. She hated Stoney's; they always played twelve country songs that you couldn't dance to, then three pop songs that actually got people dancing, then immediately killed the mood with more country crap that no one knew how to dance to. She really didn't to pay to suffer through that.

"Please?" Rikki grabbed her arm and Taylor was pulling them down the stairs to the first floor of RiRa's before Mitchie could truly protest.

"Shit, Mitchie, I can't find my cash." Rikki whined and felt her pockets. "Can you get my cover, please?"

Mitchie was slightly relieved, because this meant unless Rikki got people to buy her drinks, she'd eventually sober up. "Fine."

"Thanks, Mitch, you're the best." Rikki kissed her on the cheek and linked their arms while they waited in line to get inside.

Mitchie tried not to get too upset about the ten-dollar cover, five for each of them, but she was already down to 25 dollars. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to afford a cab from downtown to the east side if they went to too many other bars, and Rikki had already disappeared into the crowd.

Rikki appeared next to her with two drinks and Mitchie was surprised and impressed. "I got you a Liquid Cocaine, Mitchie. Please drink it! It was from the cute boy at the bar. When you take it smile at him, he might buy us more later."

Mitchie took the plastic cup and nodded towards the general direction of the bar, so Rikki wouldn't bug her about it anymore. She watched Rikki drink hers and sighed. It was a free drink, and she was tired of dealing with Rikki's loud, drunkenness while she was sober.

Mitchie sipped on her drink and held her jacket on her lap, noticing Anita and Taylor had conveniently disappeared. Rikki sat with her, quietly, but only because there was a country song blaring so loudly that Mitchie assumed Rikki couldn't ignore it, but couldn't dance to it.

Mitchie pulled her phone out and scrolled through her Facebook news feed; nothing from Alex was showing up. She went to her page to make sure they were still friends. She sighed, seeing that the last activity from Alex was several days before their weekend of arguments. She closed the app and went to her messages and stared at Alex's name. She wanted to send her something so badly.

Rikki bumped her arm and she set the phone down in her lap. "What?"

"I love this song, will you dance with me, please?" Rikki grabbed her jacket out of her lap, knocking her phone onto the ground. Mitchie jumped out of her chair to get her phone and then grabbed her half-finished drink from the table and followed Rikki to the dance floor.

Alex's phone vibrated in her hand and she stared at the empty message Mitchie had sent her. She frowned. Why would Mitchie send her a blank message? She sighed, wondering if it had been an accident. It probably had been. She put her phone down on the table, fighting the urge to text her back.

A group of people sitting near the front of the bar started shouting a countdown. Alex watched them out of the corner of her eye, watching her phone, wishing Max would hurry up.

"Five…four…three…two…one!" The group yelled and high fived. "SHOTS FOR EVERYONE!"

The waitress set a shot on the table in front of Alex and Alex stared at it. She had to drive soon, or well, she hoped Max would call her soon anyway. She sighed. Why not? She'd probably be here for another hour; she knew how Max was with timeframes. She tossed her head back and allowed the liquor to race down her throat. After she set down the shot glass, she scrolled through her phone, sighing. Nothing from Mitchie, no tagged posts. Where was she?

Mitchie danced with Rikki as the countdown for the new year finished, and by then, Mitchie had finished a second drink that Rikki had magically acquired.

"We should go to the gay bar!"

Taylor's voice was loud in her ear, but she agreed, because anything was better than pretending to know how to dance to this country song.

They walked the three blocks to Someplace Else, where Mitchie was again forced to spend money on Rikki's cover charge as well as her own. While the music was better here, Mitchie hated that she had to pay for bottled waters instead of getting free ones from the tap. But she paid for two, because she was done with the alcohol; it had been a bad idea, and she just wanted to be sober again. She wasn't sure that twelve dollars would get her a cab all the way home, but she was sure she would figure something out.

It was one-thirty before she knew it, and she was ready to leave, but Rikki, Anita and Taylor kept begging for five more minutes or one more song every time she mentioned leaving.

Finally, she decided she'd step outside and try to wake up a little bit. She stood outside, buried in her jacket, scrolling through her old messages with Alex, reading their old conversations on Facebook, looking through their pictures together. She exhaled, watching her breath float away; she wanted to call, but she wasn't even sure what she'd say. She wasn't even sure Alex was alone tonight.

She put her phone in her pocket and glanced back at the front door. They weren't going to be ready to leave until last call. She adjusted her jacket, zipped it up, and tossed her hood up. She would just walk home. She'd probably be home by the time last call happened. She crossed from Third Street to Main Street and started walking toward the highway. With each step away from Someplace Else, Mitchie wondered if this was going to work; it felt like a bad idea. She didn't want to turn around, though.

"Mitchie!"

Even though she was tired of dealing with Rikki, she spun around, trying to figure out an excuse as to what she was doing here. Instead of seeing Rikki's blonde hair shining like a beacon, she found Alex's dark hair trapped under a dark beanie.

"Alex?"

"What are you doing here?"

Mitchie blinked. "Um, I…I went out, but uh, now…I'm…well, I'm walking home."

Alex stared at her, before walking over to her car. "Let me give you a ride. I have to pick up Max from this stupid party, then we'll go straight home."

Mitchie didn't move.

Alex looked up from her door handle. "Please?"

Mitchie bit her lip and watched Alex's breath appear and disappear. "Thanks."

"Merry Christmas."

"It's New Year's."

"I know." Alex winked.

Mitchie took a few steps towards Alex's car, smothering a smile as Alex held the passenger door open for her. Once Mitchie was in, she shut the door and walked around to the driver's side.

"So, Max was partying at some apartment place that used to be a hotel or something. I was over at The Peephole, waiting. I'd just walked outside when I saw you...So, what'd you do tonight?" Alex heard the nerves in her speech, and she knew she was speaking too fast, but hoped Mitchie hadn't noticed either.

Mitchie watched the unlit office buildings blur into one big mess of stone structures. "I went to a few places downtown with Rikki, Anita, and Taylor. I was ready to leave, but they weren't."

Alex nodded, pulling up to the building she'd dropped Max off in front of. He stepped out and waved when he saw her. She unlocked the doors and he got into the backseat.

"Thanks for driving me, Alex. I'm so glad you two decided to hang out. You looked so happy together on the Internet." He hiccupped and leaned against the window.

Alex shook her head. "Kid is wasted."

"I'd say so." Mitchie smiled and looked out her window again, watching Alex's reflection instead of the buildings. "I got a little tipsy tonight. Rikki just wound up giving me some free drinks, so I drank them. But it seriously sucks…like, after all this time being sober, I just…these people walk back into my life and suddenly, I'm randomly taking shots and drinking at bars." She laughed lightly. "So dumb. I just threw away all that time I'd racked up. For a few nights of 'fun' or whatever."

Sighing, she pulled her eyes from the reflection to the real Alex. "Sorry. How was your night?"

Alex turned onto the highway and merged. "It was okay. Kind of in the same boat about the whole sobriety thing…I'm mad about how quickly and easily I just threw it all away."

"Yeah." Mitchie didn't know what else to say about it, and Alex wasn't offering up anything else, so they fell into a silence that was only punctuated by Max's soft noises of drunkenness and sleep.

Once they pulled into Alex's driveway, Alex turned the car and looked into the backseat before she and Mitchie unbuckled and got out. "Come on, Max. We're home. Let's go."

"Thanks for the ride, Alex." Mitchie took a few steps towards her house, still facing Alex.

"Of course, Mitchie." Alex's smile caught in the mixture of moon and porch light and Mitchie wanted to hug her, or invite her over, but refrained. Instead she smiled back.

Alex opened the door to the backseat and spoke loudly into the darkness. "Max. Come on."

"Just leave me here."

Alex sighed and crawled into the backseat. "Hey, Mitchie, could you do me a favor, please?"

Mitchie walked back over to the car and peeked in. "Sure."

"Can you grab his feet and pull, please?"

Mitchie did as she asked and Alex crawled out, cradling his arms and head. Once she got out of the car, she threw his arm over her shoulders, trying to get him into a standing position.

After Mitchie and Alex struggled to get him to the front door, Alex unlocked the door, while Mitchie held him up against the house. "So…where do you want him?"

Alex laughed as she threw the door open. "The couch."

Once they'd maneuvered him onto the couch, Alex tried to catch her breath as she followed Mitchie to the front door. "Thanks for helping with that."

"No problem." Mitchie shrugged, fiddling with the doorknob. "Well, I guess, I should, you know, go home."

Alex stopped smiling and looked at Mitchie for a minute, trying to find the right words to make her stay. "Oh…yeah…I—"

"See you, Alex. Good night. And thank you for the ride." Mitchie smiled and stepped outside.

Alex pushed the glass door open. "Mitchie!"

Mitchie turned slightly.

"Happy New Year."

Mitchie giggled. "Happy New Year, Alex."

Alex watched Mitchie walk through the snow, wishing she could call out and beg her to come back. She wanted to shout out again and ask if Mitchie hated her, if she was mad, or if they'd be okay. Alex wanted to yell that she loved her and that she was sorry. Instead, Mitchie's shadow disappeared and Alex closed the door and got ready for bed.


	10. So This is the New Year

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I always appreciate them. :) I hope you enjoy this, let me know what you think, and feel free to follow me on Twitter: heartvshand. Thank you! **

**Title of this chapter comes from "The New Year" by Death Cab for Cutie.**

**Consider the necessaries disclaimed.**

**Enjoy! **

10. So This is the New Year

Mitchie debated calling Alex, but she wasn't sure if the same silence that had settled over them on New Year's would present itself again. While it hadn't been completely uncomfortable, it had felt thick and strange. It wasn't something Mitchie was keen to repeat every day of the spring semester. She tapped her fingers against her steering wheel, weighing the pros and cons of asking Alex to ride with her to campus.

She'd meant to call Alex the day after New Year's, but she'd been too chicken. She couldn't remember Alex's schedule, so she wasn't even sure Alex was going to campus today. All Mitchie knew was that she wanted Alex in that car with her, and that if she didn't decide soon, she'd miss her first class. She sighed, started the car and made a decision.

Driving to school alone, she realized how long the drive from the east side of town to the west side of town truly was. Forty minutes each way with Alex felt like a few short breaths, but without Alex, Mitchie wasn't sure how she would stay sane doing this four days a week.

Alex had seen Mitchie's car leaving her driveway, and the reality started to sink in: things between them might really be over. She blinked several times, looking at the spot that Mitchie's car no longer occupied. Letting go of the curtain, she walked back to her room and grabbed her keys from her desk. She needed to get to campus soon, and it looked like she'd be driving there alone.

Somehow each of them survived January's long and lonely drives to and from campus, and before they knew it, February had arrived. All of the Valentine's Day décor and the couples holding hands around campus had Mitchie cringing and Alex's heart aching. Nothing was more frustrating than the fraternity selling Cupid-Grams outside of the UC.

Three days. That's all Alex had left to endure before all of the hearts and couples would stop being so prevalent. Alex had a countdown to Valentine's Day, solely to know when relief would come. She saw the boy sitting behind the fraternity's card table outside of the UC. She hated that the UC was the only building with restaurants in it, because she couldn't avoid the Cupid-Grams.

After she had lunch, she walked back by the Cupid-Grams table. Today the boy was shouting about a special: two for the price of one. She caved. The idea that had been consuming her for a few days had finally gotten the better of her.

Alex walked up to the table, momentarily overwhelmed by all of the pinks, whites, and reds.

"Hey," the guy manning the table said. "Would you like to send a Cupid-Gram to a special someone?"

"Um, yeah." Alex readjusted her backpack; her eyes flitted over the table's offerings. "How do these get delivered?"

"Well, we need to know where the person will be between ten and eleven a.m. on Valentine's Day."

Alex bit her lower lip. "Is there any way to send one without that information?"

The guy's lips turned into a small pout. "I'm sorry. Not really."

Alex sighed and stepped back from the table. "Okay. Thanks anyway."

She walked away and took her cell phone out of her pocket. Maybe she could call Mitchie and ask her, or maybe text her. She let out a deep breath. How would that conversation even go?

She walked back to the table. "Hey. Um, if I fill one out and just take it with me and give it to the person, is that…allowed?"

The guy laughed and scratched his nose. "I don't see why not."

Alex smiled and took a pen he held out for her. "Thanks."

"We are having a special right now. You can get two for the price of one."

She shook her head. "No, it's okay. I just need one." She barely knew what she was going to write in one. She couldn't imagine coming up with enough to say in order to fill out two.

She glanced around, and then stared at the paper in front of her.

_Mitchie,_

_Happy Valentine's Day :)_

_Alex_

Alex drew a heart next to her name, thought it might be too much, and then scribbled it out. After she did that, she realized it looked more ridiculous. She sighed and drew another heart on the other side of her name and added below her name.

_ P.S. Sorry, I scribbled out the heart. I thought it would be too much, but maybe it wouldn't be. I hope you have a good day, Mitchie._

Alex wanted to say sorry, that she missed her, loved her, wanted to be with her. She picked out a red envelope and put the card inside and wrote Mitchie's name on the outside.

After paying and handing the guy his pen, she mumbled a "thanks," and walked away quickly. She looked at it for a while and then sighed. Maybe it would have been easier to just ask her in a text for her schedule.

She wasn't paying attention to where she was walking when she smacked into someone else who wasn't watching their path. Alex stumbled back, dropped her card, and immediately scrambled to get it before even looking at the other person.

As she got back to her feet, Alex wiped her knees off. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have—" Her breath caught as she looked at the other person.

"It's okay, Alex." Mitchie laughed, getting to her feet.

"Mitchie. I-I'm sorry." The words settled between them and Alex wished they made up for everything.

Mitchie smiled. "I'm sorry, too." She held up her English book. "I was the one who was too busy looking at my textbook to see you." She laughed, taking in Alex's appearance. She still looked stunning, but she was clutching a red envelope in her hands. Despite Mitchie's attempt to ignore Valentine's Day, she knew it looked like one of those stupid Cupid-Grams. "What's that?"

Alex looked at the envelope, relieved Mitchie's name was facing her and not Mitchie. "Oh, I, um, nothing."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's not my business."

"No, you're okay. You can ask me anything. I just…forgot I was holding it."

Nervous laughter bubbled out of Mitchie's mouth, but she quickly covered her lips. "Why do you seem so anxious?"

"You make me nervous." Alex shrugged and ran her fingers over the edges of the envelope. She needed to mail this or hand it to Mitchie before she chickened out and tossed it in the trash.

"Is that one of those Cupid-Grams?"

Alex lifted her eyes. "Yeah. Did you get one for anyone?"

Mitchie shook her head. "I didn't really know how to get it to the person I wanted to give one to."

Alex's heart sped up. "Oh, yeah. I'm mailing this one, because I only had an address."

Mitchie felt time passing, and as much as she wanted to continue talking to Alex, she had to get to class. She reached out to grab Alex's hand, but let her hand fall before it made contact. "I'm so sorry, Alex. I have to go to class, but maybe we can talk later?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, sure. Are you actually going to call this time?"

Mitchie's face burned and she felt her eyes widen, so she squeezed them shut. "I…I'm sorry, I've gotta go." She walked off quickly, too embarrassed to look Alex in the eye.

She'd meant to call Alex, but she'd been scared. She was certain Alex wouldn't have given her that ride if they weren't neighbors. Alex hadn't spoken to her since that night, so Mitchie couldn't figure out what she could say on the phone.

She'd typed out numerous text messages and deleted all of them. None of them were what she wanted to say, but every time she tried to figure out the words she couldn't get out, she just got more frustrated.

She sat down at a desk near the middle of the room; already wishing class would end early, she composed new messages to Alex in her head. Nothing came out any clearer than before.

While driving home, Alex was still kicking herself for her parting words. She didn't need to call Mitchie out like that, even if it hurt to keep hearing Mitchie say, "I'll call you," "I'll see you later," or "We'll talk later" when they both knew that wasn't happening. Alex sighed and decided she'd put the Cupid-Gram in Mitchie's mailbox on Valentine's Day and just for the best.

She hated how this semester was playing out. It was nothing like the one she'd envisioned. She parked in her driveway and stared at Mitchie's house. She rubbed her eyes and sighed.

She got out of her car and decided she'd focus on school for the rest of the week. It would keep her mind off Valentine's Day.

While she set up her workspace for her homework, she tried to stay focused, but twenty minutes into her assignment, she froze. What if Mitchie hadn't called because she truly didn't want to see her anymore? Not even as friends?

Mitchie might not have even had a class to go to, what if she'd made an excuse to end the conversation? Alex rested her head on the desk, sure to avoid the charcoal already on the paper. She groaned. What was she doing? She should just leave Mitchie alone, but first, she should apologize for her comment from earlier. She grabbed her cell phone and typed out a text.

Mitchie's phone vibrated while she sat in her driveway staring at Alex's front door. She was busy wondering how she could strike up conversation with Alex, while the cold slowly ate away the leftover warmth from the heater. She needed an excuse to talk to her. After seeing Alex, she hadn't stopped thinking about her, and she really missed being around her.

She stared at her phone screen for a few seconds, unsure if she was reading it correctly.

_Alex: Hey, Mitchie. I'm really sorry about my comment today. It was uncalled for, and I shouldn't have said anything. I crossed a line and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry._

Mitchie put her phone in her pocket and grabbed her bag before walking into her house. She looked around, trying to decide what she could say beside 'It's okay' in response to that message. She decided she'd make cookies. She sat down and started looking up recipes.

She decided to go with no bake cookies, since she knew she was out of oatmeal. She wrote down all of the ingredients and gathered what she had. She was actually in need of several items. She exhaled and inhaled several times, trying to get up the nerve to walk across to Alex's house. She grabbed her coat and keys and the list of no bake ingredients.

Alex's ears perked up at the sound of the doorbell. It hadn't gone off since Max's visit. She walked to the door and peeked out the window. After seeing her neighbor standing there, she immediately opened the door.

"Mitchie."

"Hey.

Mitchie had a folded piece of paper in her hand, and Alex wondered if it was for her. "What's up?"

"I'm making, uh, some cookies, and I don't have a few things and I was wondering if you had any of the things that don't have a check mark?" She held the paper out for Alex.

Alex took it and tried not to smirk when she noticed that most of the list didn't have a check mark next to it. "I don't think I've got most of this, but I've got the oats."

"Cool." Mitchie licked her lips. "Would you mind if I asked for some?"

Alex, still trying to contain her giggles, nodded. "Of course." Alex motioned for her to follow her, and they walked into the kitchen.

Alex suddenly spun around to face Mitchie. "You know what? I actually had oatmeal this morning. I'm so sorry. But would want to go to the store with me? After talking about these cookies, I kind of want to make some, too. They sound good."

Mitchie laughed and relaxed a little. "Okay."

"Let me get my keys." Alex smiled and walked back to her room.

"I'll go get my wallet."

"No, it's okay. I'll pay." Alex resurfaced from her room, with her shoes on and her hands in her hand.

"You don't have to do that."

Alex shrugged. "I'd like to. Please, let me?"

Mitchie placed the shopping list in her pocket. "Sure, but only if you make the cookies with me. There's no reason for you to buy two of everything."

Relief flooded Alex's body. "Deal."

As they drove down the highway, Alex was determined to avoid any awkward silences or forced conversations. They fell into a relaxed silence and Alex couldn't resist. She had to know if Mitchie had only asked about the cookies in order to talk to her. "So, what made you want no bakes?"

Quiet laughter shook Mitchie and Alex glanced at her. "Why are you laughing?"

"Nothing. I just got a craving." Mitchie's face was so red that Alex couldn't miss it, but she didn't comment on it. The blush was all Alex needed to confirm her hunch.

"Well, I'm excited about it." Alex parked at the grocery store and smiled at Mitchie, more excited that they were doing this together than she was about the cookies.

As they walked up to the store entrance, Mitchie wanted to hold Alex's hand, but resisted. She forced herself to put her hands deep into her own pockets. Alex didn't miss this gesture, and her shoulders fell. She wished Mitchie had slipped her hand into that pocket. She missed Mitchie playing with her fingers inside her pocket. Mitchie thought about Alex's Cupid-Gram and wondered who it was for, but thought it wasn't her business, especially since Alex had avoided giving her a direct answer that morning.

"So, what are you doing for Valentine's Day?"

Mitchie jumped, but glanced at Alex. "Oh, nothing. Luckily, I don't have to work. So I don't have to see a lot of happy couples come into the theater." She rolled her eyes.

Alex laughed. "Well, that works out for you, I guess." She cleared her throat as they wandered down the baking aisle, looking for vanilla extract.

Mitchie spotted it and placed it in the basket Alex was holding. "I wish I had plans, sitting at home kind of sounds boring."

"What about Rikki?" Alex took the list from Mitchie.

"Oh, she doesn't live here. And, I mean, we're just friends. I'd rather…" She trailed off, shook her head and watched her feet.

"You'd rather what?" Alex steered them into the breakfast aisle. She grabbed a box of instant oatmeal packets. "Do you think there'll be enough in here?"

Glancing at the box briefly, Mitchie rubbed her arm. "Yeah. It should." She looked back down at her shoes. "I'd rather spend it with you."

Alex stopped walking, and Mitchie followed suit. Her eyes flitted over Mitchie's head. "Mitchie?"

Mitchie lifted her eyes.

Alex felt dizzy, but she forced herself to keep her voice steady. "Would you lik to do something on Valentine's Day? With me?"

Mitchie gave a small, half smile. "Yeah."

Alex couldn't contain her giant smile. "Okay, cool." Her heart was taking up her whole chest; she wanted to cry and laugh and jump up and down, but she stayed calm and tried to resume walking without her knees wobbling.

#

Mitchie set the supplies for the cookies out on her counter and leaned against the sink, watching Alex read the instructions off her phone. It felt good to have Alex inside her house again. She bit her lip, trying to stop herself from grinning.

Alex glanced up and caught Mitchie with a funny expression on her face and gave her a questioning look. "You okay?"

Mitchie nodded and pushed off from the sink. "Yeah. So what do we do first?"

Alex looked up. "How were you going to make these alone if you're asking me for the directions?"

Mitchie shrugged. "I would have done what you're doing…just use the Internet."

Alex smiled, but decided to carry on with the cookies. "All right, then. Well, this says we need to boil the sugar, cocoa, butter and milk first."

Once they'd finished pouring the cookies onto wax paper, they sat down in Mitchie's living room while they waited out the cooling period. Alex sat down on one end of the couch and Mitchie left a cushion between them.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Mitchie twisted her fingers and untwisted them.

"Sure." Alex set her phone on the coffee table and turned to face Mitchie. "What's up?"

"What are you going to do, like, after graduation?"

Alex sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I'm majoring in art…I don't really know what this town has to offer me. I guess, I'll probably move."

Mitchie's heart sank. "Where do you think you'll go?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't really know. Maybe California, maybe Nashville. Or Chicago. I don't really know."

Mitchie nodded.

"What about you? Are you going to just teach around here?"

Mitchie looked up from her hands and shook her head slowly. "Um, I don't…I don't think I want to do that. I don't really agree with some of the new teaching laws and stuff, so I'll probably just…I don't know. I've been thinking about maybe New York City, or somewhere with some intercity stuff…I don't know. I think I'd be happier knowing I was helping kids who aren't getting screwed by our system here."

"Oh?" Alex hadn't really thought about the different teaching standards throughout the states, but now she wondered about which state was best to be learning in. "Where do you think you'll go?" She knew it was stupid, but she sort of wanted to move to wherever Mitchie planned to go.

Mitchie shrugged. "I really don't know. I've been considering my master's degree."

"That'd be cool. What could you do with that?"

Mitchie shrugged. "I don't really know. I'm just really unsure of myself right now. I've been doing some classroom work. Like, this semester, I'm making lesson plans and I'll be student teaching at some high schools starting the week after next. I don't know…I'm nervous about it." She sighed. "I'm not sure I'm ready for a real world job…I thought it's what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure."

"What would you do instead?"

Mitchie shook her head. "I really don't know." Her voice cracked and she looked down.

The timer they'd set for the cookies went off and Mitchie got up to check on them. Alex followed after her and turned her around. "Hey, Mitch. You're gonna be okay." She hugged Mitchie and ran her fingers through her hair. "A lot of people freak out right before graduation."

Mitchie stayed still, breathing in Alex's familiar scent, trying not to cry. She slowly returned the hug and rested her head on Alex's shoulder. "How do you know, though?"

"You're gonna figure it out, one day at a time."

"You're not freaking out, though."

Alex chuckled lightly. "I am feeling the same way, don't worry. I know how scary it all seems, but I swear, it'll be okay. Things will work out, you know? You just have to keep doing what you love and I feel like things will fall into place when you're in the right place at the right time."

Mitchie relaxed further into the hug and Alex couldn't focus on anything besides the way Mitchie's body felt against hers.

"Thanks, Alex." Mitchie's voice was muffled against Alex's neck.

Alex squeezed her tightly and then slowly loosened her grip. "Of course."

Mitchie rubbed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Sorry. Let's go check on the cookies."

Alex nodded and followed her to the table. "So, are they done?"

Mitchie sighed. "I don't know. They still seem a little wet and unready."

Alex groaned. "These take forever." She walked back into the living room and sat back down.

"So, what do you want to do on Thursday?" Mitchie leaned against arm rest next to the cushion Alex was sitting on.

"What's Thursday?"

Mitchie's heart dropped. "Valentine's Day."

Alex looked up, her eyes wide. "Oh! Right. Sorry." Her face felt warm as she looked back down. "Sorry. I just, I forgot it was this week."

Mitchie relaxed. "Oh, good. I thought you'd been joking about doing something."

"No! No. I definitely want to do something with you." Alex grabbed Mitchie's hand. "I don't know what we could do. We could…go to the river or a museum or…when do you get done with class?

"I'm done on campus by one. Do you work or go to class?"

"I've got class from one until four, it's just an art class, though. If I do the homework beforehand, I can skip it."

"Alex!"

"What?"

"You don't have to skip it."

Alex shrugged. "I don't mind."

"No, don't do that. The whole…" Mitchie stopped herself from saying the words that rested on her tongue. She knew saying 'the whole reason we aren't dating is because of school' would make the entire conversation awkward, because that no longer felt like the only reason they weren't together. "Never mind. If that's what you want to do, then okay. But don't feel like I won't hang out with you just because you get done after me."

Alex stood up and walked into kitchen to the dining table. She tried to lift one of the cookies and it came up as one whole piece. "How about I think about it? If I get the work done, I'll skip. If I don't, then I will go to class." She wasn't sure if Mitchie could hear her, but she was speaking loudly so she hoped that her words weren't just sound. "Also, the cookies are done."

Mitchie bumped her hip against Alex's. "How about you just go to class?"

Alex jumped. "Did you follow me?"

"Well, yeah." She laughed. "Why wouldn't I?"

Alex broke the cookie in half and handed part of it to Mitchie. "Here."

"Thanks."

"No, this was your idea, so thank you." Alex bit into the cookie, wondering what Mitchie would wind up doing after graduation. Alex watched Mitchie chewing her cookie, holding it over the sink and covering her mouth with her free hand, and Alex knew wherever Mitchie went, she really would go.

#

Somehow, it was suddenly Valentine's Day, and Mitchie was standing in Hallmark, trying to find the perfect card. She had perused the cards the past two days with no luck. She picked up another card and quickly set it down once she saw the word 'love' – they weren't even dating, how could she confess such a strong feeling, especially when they were barely just restarting their friendship?

She wanted to know where the section for 'people who wanted to date, but never did, but are friends who are hanging out together on Valentine's Day' was hiding in this store, because she didn't even know what she was looking for in a card, but she wanted something perfect.

She groaned and set down another card that sounded too serious. She turned around and looked at the "Funny" section again. All of the jokes seemed raunchy or lame. She sighed and picked up one with a small dog with hearts in its eyes on the front.

She scanned the inside quickly: Blah, Blah, Blah, Puppy Love Punch Line. She rolled her eyes and slid the card back into its slot. She tapped her cell phone against her thigh, then paused to glance at the clock. She had twenty minutes left until she had to head home to meet Alex. Mitchie had been relieved when Alex sent her a message to say that she was going to go to class that morning. For the first time since they'd stopped riding together, Mitchie was thankful, because that meant she hadn't had to come up with some lame excuse as to why they couldn't ride together today.

None of these cards were going to work. She walked around, scanning the sections when a woman cleared her throat. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Um, actually, do you have any blank cards for Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah, they're over here."

Mitchie followed her into the next row.

"Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else."

Mitchie nodded and thanked her before scanning the photos on the fronts of cards. Nothing was striking her as very Alex. She chewed on the inside of her lip, staring blankly at the pictures. She saw a card with two kittens cuddling on the front and instantly thought of waking up in Alex's arms; she decided to go with that.

Ten minutes later, Mitchie paced in her kitchen, trying to figure out what she should write. She'd thought about it on the drive home, but nothing sounded right. Her phone vibrated and she read the message. It was Alex and she was changing and then would be ready. Mitchie groaned. "Why the fuck is this so difficult?" She threw the pen against the wall and sat down on the kitchen floor. She rested her head in her hands. All the words she wanted to say to Alex ran through her head. _I miss you. Can we please date? I'm sorry I never called… Will you please stay the night? Can we ride to school together again? Will you be my girlfriend? I wish things were different…_ None of it felt right. There was a knock on her front door and she crawled over to get the pen resting on the carpet in the hall. She grabbed the card off the counter and set it on the floor. She went with the only thing she could think of:

_Happy Valentine's Day, Alex. Your friend, Mitchie_

Alex stood on Mitchie's front steps with her Cupid-Gram in her hands. She felt stupid only giving her this, but she hadn't been able to think of anything else to get her.

Mitchie opened the door and smiled. "Hey."

"Hey, I know we talked about just staying in and watching a movie and eating takeout, but I thought about it and realized I'd like to do something nice for you. So, would you mind we went to Formichetti's for dinner?"

Mitchie blinked, before a smile slowly spread across her face. "Oh, sure. Let me just change real quick."

"Are you sure that's okay?"

"Yeah, definitely. I'll just throw on a dress and flats and we can go."

"I don't know if they'll have any seating left. I know they don't do reservations, but I don't know if anyone else would think to eat at five or if everyone else is waiting until like, later…so I don't even know if it'll be worth it." Alex rambled on in the hallway, while Mitchie changed into a dress and walked back out of her bedroom, holding her card in her hand.

"I think either way it'll be okay. If that doesn't work out, takeout can be our fall back." She tapped her white envelope against her palm. "Um, this is kinda lame, but I got you a card."

Alex grinned and took the card from her. "Thanks. I, um, kind of did the same." She held out the Cupid-Gram.

It was then that Mitchie realized Alex was holding the red envelope she'd seen her with on Monday. "You got me a Cupid-Gram?" She took it, a smile on her lips.

"Yes." Alex ducked her head a little. "I hope that's okay."

Mitchie smiled. "Yes, dork."

They opened the cards at the same time, and both of them laughed. They each looked up from their card and said, "That's what I wrote."

They shared a laugh and set the cards down on the kitchen counter. Alex held Mitchie's eyes for a moment and wondered if it would be okay to kiss her, but refrained.

Alex drove them to Formichetti's and was relieved to see the parking lot didn't look too full. As they walked up to the front door, their hands brushed against one another and Mitchie moved her hand, afraid of being too persistent. She was still sure that Alex only wanted to be friends; she would leave the first move up to Alex.

While they'd laughed over the content of the card, Alex hadn't failed to see the words 'your friend' signed with Mitchie's name. The words stung, but she was not going to let them dampen the evening. Just being friends with Mitchie would be fine; she could handle that. It hurt, but Alex knew she deserved that. At least, she knew what they were for sure now. She wished knowing that meant her feelings could simply dissipate.


	11. You Can Come Back

**First, I am SO SORRY that it's taken me so long to update. It's a short update, but I hope it's been worth the wait. I'm sorry the length is lacking. I will be making up for that soon.**

**Second, I really appreciate all of the reviews I get. Thank you so much! **

**I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think. **

11. You Can Come Back

"So, would you want to do that?"

Alex lifted her eyes from the TV to the looked at Mitchie. "Do what?"

Alex had been putting up boundaries between them since Valentine's Day. Mitchie couldn't stand it. She'd been shamelessly flirting with her since their dinner at Formichetti's, and while Alex had laughed, she played it off as a joke or she did this, where she pretended she "didn't get it."

"Reenact the scene from this shitty story I'm reading for my workshop class…the one I just read to you, with the whip cream. Literally, the one I just told you about?"

Alex chuckled and shrugged. "Oh, wow, I don't know. That'd be a lot of whip cream." She cleared her throat. "Um, wait, why are you taking this creative writing class, if you're not required to?"

"I needed an elective this semester." Mitchie sighed.

"Oh." Alex watched her go back to her story. She licked her lips as Mitchie chewed on the end of her red pen, and despite her raging hormones, she noticed Mitchie looked a little sad. "Are you okay?"

Mitchie looked up. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Alex's breath caught. "Oh. I don't know. You just looked down."

Mitchie wanted to laugh, but didn't. She didn't really have a response for that. What could she say? She was throwing herself at Alex, but Alex wasn't even reacting. How was that supposed to make her feel?

"Sorry. You don't have to tell me anything." Alex forgot that they'd just started hanging out again. It was two weeks since Valentine's Day, why would Mitchie suddenly let her back in, like, nothing had happened? She went back to watching the commercials on television, trying to remember what show had even been on.

The cushion between them felt deeper, wider than it really was. Alex was sure she would eventually overstep and fall right into the canyon. She glanced at Mitchie and jerked her head back in surprise. Mitchie was staring at her, too.

"Hey." Mitchie's lips curled upward.

"Hey." Alex cleared her throat. Mitchie looked really pretty tonight; the thought of kissing her crossed Alex's mind and made her lips tingle. "I'm sorry, Mitchie. I should go home. I'm distracted. I mean, I'm distracting you." She gathered her textbook and notebook up and shoved them into her backpack before heading to the front door.

Mitchie set her homework down and followed Alex to the front door. "Are you sure? I'm really okay with you staying."

"I'm sorry." She slid her feet into her shoes. "I really have to go. I'm sorry." Alex adjusted her backpack on her shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Mitchie didn't want to push her, so she unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door for her. "I'll see you later?"

Alex saw the way Mitchie's smile didn't reach her eyes and the watery quality her eyes had acquired. She swallowed the nerves blocking her response. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow. Sorry, Mitchie."

Mitchie shook her head. "It's okay, Alex. I hope you get your work done."

Alex nodded. "I hope you do, too."

Mitchie watched her walk across the slushy grass and tapped her fingers against the doorknob. She regretted never calling Alex after New Year's. She wondered if things would be different if she had.

As soon as Alex got home, she paced in her living room. What was she doing? Why did she leave? She should have stayed. She should have just said something. She asked Mitchie out on Valentine's Day, but now she realized she should have made it official immediately. And that look on Mitchie's face when she was letting Alex leave? Alex couldn't believe she actually left Mitchie after that look. She ran her hands through her hair and looked at her empty couch and thought about the afternoons they'd spent lying around on it together. What was she doing? The last two weeks had been absolutely awful. She should have stayed and said something and just talked to Mitchie. She plopped down on the couch and sighed.

She got her phone from her bag and typed up several long-winded messages to Mitchie about everything she should have said, but none of them conveyed what she was feeling. None of them really said, "I dream about you all the time," or "I can't get you out of my mind and I can't stop myself from picturing a future with you," or "I wish you would be my girlfriend." None of them said, "I love you." She erased the last inadequate "Hey, sorry I left in a rush…" that she'd written out and typed up a shorter one.

Mitchie's phone vibrated and looked at the new message from Alex.

It was short and simple: _I miss you._

Picking up her phone, Mitchie replied. _Then why did you leave?_

Alex set her phone down. Why had she left? She stared at her phone for a few minutes before typing up the truth. _I don't know._

_Well, you can come back._ After sending that, Mitchie bit her thumb, wondering if that was too much, but quickly decided what was done was done. She set her phone down and went back to studying.

Alex stared at Mitchie's words. She wondered if she should go back. Deciding to reply with the first thought that came to mind, she typed it up before she could chicken out. _Can we have a sleepover tonight?_

_Yes._

Alex walked back across the yard, trying to decide if she would tell Mitchie why she left in the first place or not. She was at Mitchie's door before she figured out a plan, but when Mitchie opened the door, Alex knew there was only one real solution.

She stepped inside and Mitchie backed up to give her room, but Alex grabbed Mitchie's hand and pulled her closer, pressing her lips against Mitchie's. It took a second, but Mitchie kissed back with more force than Alex had exerted and her hands found Alex's hips.

Mitchie's heartbeat bounced around in her ears. She didn't want to stop kissing Alex, because it felt good, but she was too terrified that once the kiss ended, Alex would never mention it again to continue at the moment. She slowly ended the kiss and rested her forehead against Alex's. "If I keep kissing you, are you going to pretend it didn't happen tomorrow?"

Alex shook her head. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Why would I want to pretend it didn't happen?"

"Because you kissed me in the movie theater around Thanksgiving, but never brought it up again." Mitchie's body was shaking on the inside and vibrating outward.

"I didn't know how."

"I thought you regretted it."

Alex pulled back and looked into Mitchie's eyes. "I've never regretted anything with you. I never stopped thinking about that kiss actually." She laughed a little and looked down. "Maybe that's lame. But it's why I had to leave. I wanted to kiss you again, but you said you wanted to be friends on Valentine's Day, so I just figured—"

"Wait. When did I say I wanted to just be friends?" Mitchie tilted her head to the side, mulling Valentine's Day over in her mind. "I kind of thought that was a date, until you started being very friend-ish since that night instead of girlfriend-ish."

"You signed the card, 'Your friend,' and so I just thought that meant…I don't know." Alex shrugged.

Goosebumps rippled across Mitchie's skin and she pulled Alex into a hug. "Dork."

Alex laughed, burying her face into Mitchie's shoulder. "You could have said something sooner."

"You could have, too." Mitchie hugged Alex tighter. "I'm glad you came back."

"Me, too."

#

Alex woke up with the feeling that last night had been too good to be true. She was afraid to open her eyes, in case she was in her bed and not Mitchie's, but the way the sun bounced across her eyelids, she was sure she wasn't in her own room. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself next to Mitchie. She smiled and reached out to touch Mitchie's hair. She ran her fingers through it, massaging her scalp.

Mitchie hummed a sound of approval and murmured, "good morning," but kept her eyes shut.

Alex kept her fingers on Mitchie's head, letting them get lost in her dark hair. "Good morning." She watched Mitchie's eyes roam under her eyelids and saw a smile slowly spread across her lips. Alex couldn't help, but smile wider.

"It feels good to wake up next to you again."

"I was just thinking that."

Mitchie opened her eyes and saw Alex looking at her. "I'm happy you came back last night."

Alex nodded, the noise of her hair moving across the pillow filled her ear that was pressed against it. "Me too."

Mitchie smiled, with her eyes half-opened. "Do you work today?"

"Yeah. At the restaurant. Do you think you could come by for my lunch break? I could get you lunch."

"I wish, but I work this morning, too."

Alex tried not to feel too dejected. "Oh, well, can I take you out tonight?"

Mitchie yawned and stretched before answering. "Sure, if you want."

Alex bit her lip and realized she couldn't contain herself; she couldn't wait to ask her later that night. "Hey, Mitchie. I know that graduation is still two months away. But will you be my girlfriend in May?"

Mitchie stared at her. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Alex, it's barely March. You realize that, right?"

"Yes. I do. I just…I'm afraid I'll start focusing on being a good girlfriend to you instead of my studies."

"And after graduating, you'll need to focus on building your career, right? There will never be a good time to date."

Alex sighed. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but please, can we go back to being alone together, and date in May, please?"

Mitchie felt like they were making progress when Alex came over and kissed her last night, but right now she felt like this was a step backwards. She sat up and folded her legs up under her. "Alex, will you be my girlfriend as of today?"

Alex blinked several times. "Can we go back to going on dates until May? We can go out once a week or every other week? We can do everything being girlfriends would entail, without that being our official title?"

"Alex!"

"What?"

Mitchie groaned. "Do you even want to be with me?"

"Yes! How else can I make that clear?"

"By being my girlfriend, by saying I'm your girlfriend!" Mitchie sighed. "I feel like you only want me around until you find something better. It's like you're stringing me along, hoping you're gonna find someone better by May so you don't have to date me."

"Mitchie, that's not the case at all. Where did that even come from?"

"It came from the way you refuse to be in a relationship with me, even after we kiss and go on dates and hold hands and say sweet things to each other."

"I'm not trying to deny you of that! I'm trying to be responsible."

Mitchie laughed, but it was cold. She folded her arms across her chest. "Your logic is completely illogical, you know that, right?"

"Mitchie. I just want you. I want you and only you. I don't even know why we're fighting about this right now. I just…don't want to disappoint you. I want to be the best girlfriend I can be."

"Alex, can you just stop with that? Do you understand how much like a line that sounds like? The more you say it, the less I believe that." Mitchie got up and started looking for a change of clothes. "You know, waiting until May takes away from all the time we could be dating. We could be building a life together, but no. It's like you're waiting until graduation to make it official, so that when you get a job in some other city, you can have an excuse to leave me behind or break up with me…or whatever. It's like you just don't want a long-term relationship at all, and if that's the case I wish you'd just say so. Because it's better than hearing you say everything except for one word—three little letters!—when I ask, 'Alex, will you be my girlfriend?'"

Mitchie tossed some shirts behind her shoulder and Alex watched them flutter to the ground. Alex stayed quiet and Mitchie continued looking for an outfit. What was she supposed to say to that? She knew Mitchie had a point, and she couldn't really remember why her plan sounded better than Mitchie's anyway. She watched Mitchie flit through her drawers of shirts and jeans and shorts, trying to imagine life after graduation. If Alex wasn't careful, Mitchie would pack up this entire house and leave with or without her once graduation was behind them.

"Yes."

Mitchie paused and set her clothes on top of the dresser. "What?"

"I'll try to be your girlfriend."

"Now?"

Alex closed her eyes and nodded. "Yes."

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'try,' as in…"

"I'll be your girlfriend now and try to be the best girlfriend I can be."

Mitchie blinked, unsure if she'd heard her right. "What?"

Alex licked her lips, suddenly feeling that this had been some kind of trap. "Um." Her heart was choking her and she couldn't speak.

"Alex, are you serious?"

She nodded and tried to swallow the thick feeling in her throat. "One hundred percent."

Mitchie walked from the dresser to the bed, tackling Alex. Her body was shaking like it had the night before and she opened her mouth to speak, but laughter was the only thing that came out. "You have no idea how much this means to me, Alex."

They had fallen back onto the mattress, and Mitchie was on top of her, but she didn't mind. Alex wrapped her arms around Mitchie, smiling. "I'm really nervous about this, Mitch."

"It's okay. We'll keep up with our school work and nothing has to change."

"Wait, can we make one change, please?"

Mitchie tried to hide her frown, but it was useless. "What?" She pulled away and looked into Alex's eyes.

"Can we have sleepovers all the time, like we used to?"

Mitchie grinned, burying her head in Alex's shoulder. "Yes."

"Good. I've missed that." Alex relaxed into the mattress and let Mitchie's body heat mix with hers.

#

"So, what are you doing for spring break?" Mitchie hoped they could spend some time together being a couple now that they were officially calling themselves that.

Alex glanced at Mitchie as they walked along the paved walkway on campus. "Max has the same week for his spring break, so we're going to take a road trip to Florida."

"That'll be fun." Mitchie watched as the library slowly got bigger the closer they got. She wished Alex would be staying in town, because she didn't have any plans.

"Yeah, I hope so."

Mitchie nodded and gave a small 'yeah,' and Alex wondered why she seemed upset. "What are you doing over break?"

"Just working and hanging around here. Probably will get ahead on homework or something."

"Oh, that'll be nice." Alex smiled and slowly slipped her hand into Mitchie's. "You know, I'll send you some pictures from the beach and road and I'll try to make sure you don't have reason to miss me too much."

Mitchie smiled and glanced at her. "That's sweet of you, Lex, but you know I'm not going to be that needy."

Alex knew she probably would be, but smiled and gave her hand a slight squeeze. "Well, I'll miss you a lot."

"So, when do you leave?"

"Friday after Max gets out at 2:30." Alex stepped into the library behind Mitchie, and unzipped her hoodie, while they headed to the main staircase. "We're getting back into town the Friday or Saturday before spring break is over."

"Where in Florida are you going?"

Alex laughed. "Saint Augustine."

"Aw, that place is really nice. I hope you enjoy it."

"Yeah? I really hope it's fun. Max says it shouldn't be too crowded with the general rowdy spring break crowd, so I hope he's right about that."

"It should be nice enough even if it's got some spill over from all of those partying crowds." Mitchie was happy Alex would be having a nice time, but she hated that she'd be alone for the whole week. She wished that Alex would have invited her, or given her more than a week's notice. They'd been dating for barely two weeks, and while nothing had changed except the reinstatement of sleepovers and the addition of make-out sessions, Mitchie hated that they would be separated for a whole week already.

"I hope so. But I'm kind of nervous that Max will want to go to the parties at least one night. I'm not sure I want to do that." Alex laughed and opened the door to the fourth floor, panting slightly.

"Well, then go with him and make sure he stays safe."

"Maybe." Alex stopped at the water fountain and took a long gulp from it. "We'll see." She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and smiled.

#

"So, are you going to miss me at all?" Alex played with Mitchie's hair once they settled into Mitchie's bed later that night.

"Of course."

She laughed and rested her head on Mitchie's. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it earlier. It started out as a joke over Christmas break, but then he sent me a message a week or so ago and asked about it. So, I figured it wouldn't hurt to get away for a bit."

Mitchie frowned. "What are you getting away from?"

"I don't know. Reality, work, my family, just being forced to look at the same stuff all the time…it'll be nice to be on a beach where nobody can touch me."

"Do you want to get away from me?"

"No. Actually, I thought about inviting you, but I figured it was too late for you to ask off for the time from work and honestly, I was afraid to go on vacation with you. I was afraid it would be as disastrous as going to a party with you." Alex hid her face between the pillow and Mitchie's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I just was too nervous. Plus, I never really get to hang out with Max."

Mitchie ran her nails up and down her thigh, watching the white trails they left slowly fade. "It's okay. I get it."

"You're not mad about it, are you?" Since they'd started officially dating, Alex had been waiting for them to start fighting on a daily basis, because she recalled that happened a lot with most of her ex-girlfriends.

"No. I'm not. I really do get it."

Alex lifted her head slightly, examining Mitchie's features. She didn't look truly upset, a little sad, but nothing that looked like it could lead to a yelling match. "Would you be able to come?"

Mitchie turned her head to look into Alex's eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah?" Alex wasn't sure why she was asking, because she wasn't any less afraid of the trip turning into a mess if Mitchie went.

"I don't think I could get rid of all of my shifts."

"We could come back earlier." Alex felt a little hope bubbling in her chest.

"No, I don't want to mess up your plans."

Alex sighed. "Well, if you figure out a way to get rid of the shifts between now and Friday, let me know."

Mitchie yawned, a laugh getting lost in it. "Yeah, well, I'd need a miracle for that to happen, but seriously, don't worry about it. I really do understand."

Alex bit her lip. "Then why do you continue to look so sad every time Florida gets mentioned?"

"I'll just miss you a lot." Mitchie leaned over and kissed Alex on the lips. "Good night, Alex."

Alex sighed. "Good night, Mitch. Sweet dreams."


End file.
